Monday, July 9, 2007

It's a matter of covering up
Bloody hell blogspot, I couldn't put the title up there!

“Would you ever wear tudung?”

I was asked by a friend of mine. I was wearing a tube top and 3 quarter pants and was having brunch with her.

No, she was not a Muslim nor a Malay, but a Catholic. Both of us stood on the same line of spirituality. We are still on the middle of the line, not here nor there on this frikkin’ invisible line of spirituality, hopefully not based on the society standard but rather our own.

I grinned, it was not the first time I have been asked that question. Obviously, wearing a tudung is a big deal to me. It’s symbolic, something that a lot of tudung wearers seemed to have missed these days, somehow. A lot of women missed out on the significance of donning a hijab / tudung. They wore it illustriously with body hugging short sleeved T-shirts and stuff.

Truth be told, I am a little confused but even then, who am I to say anything kan? I am afterall, a person who enjoys wearing sleeveless tops and baring my cleavage (well… what little that I have of it.).

“Ummm… maybe someday, but don’t know when yet.” I answered.

“Would you do that after you get married?” she asked again.

Cyn… like seriously, why are you grilling me with these questions.

“I want to quit drinking once I bite the dust. Think it’ll work or not?”

Bite the dust first lor! I joked as I let out a small chuckle.

Marriage is usually the starting point of hijab wearing, I noticed. Most of my friends do that. Some of them were hinted at by the husband (I don’t want that kind of hubby), and some just want to be a better parent to their future offspring.

As far as I am concerned, between having a mother who wears a hijab with one who does not, it really doesn’t make any kind of difference at all. Some covered women are really not that good a mother and some good ones are not really covered. So there’s no weight in that.

“Marriage is not the turning point, the turning point is when I WANT to wear it, it would be because I WANT to.” I told Cyn.

Personally, I would eventually want to wear one, but it’ll be because I am ready to take on the responsibility.
You can’t toy around with faith ya’ll, even if you don’t have lots of it.


  1. sure muka akak comel pakai tudung nanti kehkehkehkeh!

  2. same here. I really don't like it when people don the tudung one day, and off with it the next day..kejap ada, kejap takde. If I do wear it one fine day, it's becoz im ready to be a really good muslim and not just half bake muslim.

  3. i am used to being bombarded with such a question. i just could not help but agree with you. it just the matter of wanting to do it oourself with no one forcing you.

    we need to understand the meaning of our doing first before really doing it. if not, it becomes meaningless.

  4. I used to resent when ppl [read: male friends!] asked me when I was going to cover my hair and got all defensive. I'd mumble maybe after I'm married, don't know, why do you care, I'll wear it when I'm good and ready when I want to and when I choose to etc. Then one day it struck me, what if I never got married? What if I'm never ready [cos I'm never ready for any exams, never ready to grow up, never ready to join the workforce]? And I wondered too, why am I against God's words? It wasn't easy for me to don the scarf for the first time and no, it doesn't make me a good Muslim overnight. So all my previous thoughts that all covered girls are good and religious were actually not true bcos I'm still trying hard to be a good Muslim myself. So to me, it doesn't mean that once one wears it, one is automatically a good Muslim. I am still working at that.

  5. You echo my sentiments. A tudung is a lifetime commitment, not a fashion statement.

    Kalau pakai tudung hati tak ikhlas, tu yg jadi mcm2 gejala sosial yg membabitkan wanita bertudung masa kini.

    Sekian, terima kasih.

  6. oh sweets! i could have given you a big hug if my arms are long enough to reach you from here! how true on all points...tudung is for good, not just for a phase/to tangkap laki, and tudung doesnt reflect quality of motherhood/wife. i say, be a good person in your heart, before u declare it to all with a piece of cloth on oyur head.

  7. Yup. Spot on! Must not wear tudung because one feel pressured to wear them. Must be ready mentally and spiritually. Bila kena paksa tulah yang menyebabkan gejala "biskut chipsmore"..kejap ader kejap takder..

  8. I know how it feels.

    Someone that i know before. She goes to work with tudung, but after work she take off. Weekend, totally she doesn't wear at all.

    I can't comment much coz it's up to individual to wear tudung kan?

    Tepuk dada, tanya selera.

    But mesti lah ikhlas before pakai tudung. Jgn because nak ikut orang or becasue of the trend pakai tudung.

    I know, i know one day i'll wear one. Once i'm ready.

  9. I think in recent times, for some, tudung is worn in the spirit of peer pressure. Hence, the reason why you still see tudung-clad ladies in provocative outfits : ketat, jarang etc. Beats the purpose really. Which is more provocative: hair or tetek/peha/butt?

  10. Came across this comment fr a fellow blogger on another blog which aslo discussed the same topic [am just copying and pasting his comment here]:

    Interesting piece, but I don't totally agree with the author. Wearing tudung has always been the subject of much discussion and has now become an escapism for people who want to justify them doing bad stuff i.e. 'ape gune pakai tudung tp buat projek. Aku pergi clubbing je eventhough tak pakai tudung'. Fullstop.

    Yes, there is no compulsion in religion, but not making the effort to improve is also wrong. And to say that 'org lain pakai tudung tapi buat projek' is also wrong. Tudung has nothing to do with what the person does, same as you as a non-tudung wearer will not like others to judge you on the other things that you do. In order to obtain the hidayah and to finally be in a place where one can say 'I am wearing this tudung kerana Allah', one has to continuously seek his guidance, which, brings me back to my earlier point which is the education of the soul.

    If we don't force ourselves to a certain extent to do good things, then how do we expect our soul and minds to be happy to do good? Not everyone will have similar miraculous stories like u did. Tak semua orang bangun pagi and mimpi jumper Rasulullah SAW, so the path to getting guidance must be paved by yourself, with your own efforts. You can't just wait for things to happen. Insya Allah one day everything will just click into place and you will finally be happy to be a better person.

    Everyone has something bad that they wanna stop doing. Make no mistake about it. Even ustaz also feel that they have something that they can improve. Different people have different things they want to work on (even myself) in order to be a better muslim but to blatantly say that you not wearing tudung is justified by the fact that you don't do the other stuff that tudung wearers do is just out of depth. We all have our weak points, just be thankful that in your case, it is easier to rectify than most.

    By trying to wear a tudung.

    June 6, 2007 6:43 AM

    I don't understand why some covered girls wear body-hugging baby t-shirts and tight jeans too either.

  11. Zetts,

    last time i wear a tudung, was to a funeral. didnt exactly have one, so i took my Fendi scarf and main lilit je kat kepala akak, jadi pulak tuu.. makcik tu dalam kesedihan yang teramat buleh tanya, 'camana awak ikat tudung awak ye???'

    memang saya kiut... hahahaha...

    Ms D,

    tulah pasal. i know a few religious women who are well learned in this area and are still not wearing it. they said in time. make sense?

  12. Farah,

    yup. pressure or force tends to confuse people more.

    most people do this to blend in. they blended of course, only to question the whole act later...

  13. Adek,

    good point there, but you will also wonder, what if i thought i was ready, but really i am not?

    good for you, if youc an do that, then that meant you are ready enough...


    agreed. kalau buat apa2 pun kalau tak ikhlas takkan jadi jugak.

  14. MsJ,

    i have a lot of friends who wears tudung after they married. they said if they all dont wear tudung then what kind of wife and mother would they be.

    like what i said, if you happened to be a mother who doenst know how to mother, even with that piece of cloth on your head, tak jadi juga right??

    i am sure the hubby, if he really loves the wife would not expect her to do that just because she wants to 'look' like a better spouse and parent.

    apa2 pun, hati musti mau baik juga!

    The wailer,

    welkam and tengkiu, sila2... ada nasik dengan kicap kat belakang, buat macam rumah orang ye....

  15. Cosmic,

    yeah.. just about to say something about the chipsmore syndrome i call it. my sister was one of them, pergi keluar dengan kawan pakai, pergi keluar dengan family, dah tok pakai pulak... until one day i saja say,if you want to wear can you just wear it for GOOD?

    now that she is older, she did just that, even defended i and my mother who dont wear it..


    every one of my friends (Muslim ones la) have that little resolution at the back of their head, but they want to wait out, irregardless if it will eventually happen or not.

  16. I'm no expert in this area but I think it's good enough for every Muslim woman to think about it once in a while. Maybe can spend about 1 minute before going to sleep to do some 'muhasabah diri'. Baik tak aku hari ni? Ada tak aku sakitkan hati orang hari ni? Macamana nak elakkan menerima riba'? Things like that, lah.

  17. i'm not ready too, and i don't know when can i be ready.

    it's true what u said that there are some girls wearing 'tudung' but mismatch with the body-hugging baby t-shirts and tight jeans. 'wearing tudung' is more like peer pressure thingy or trend i guess

  18. and i totally agree with kak zetty, u're sure cute wearing 'tudung' hihiihihi :P

  19. Lils,

    babe... all those people wearing the jarang2 get up has been influenced by Waheeda and all people like that.. they want to yaleh2... (If you have been to an Arab wedding u'll understand)


    fuh.. panjangnya komen anda. anyhow, the point of the matter is we really could not judge who is bad or not based on what they look like or do. so what if you dont drink but you fuck anyway. all of us are discovering the wrongs and rights. it's a journey kan..

    Waah sungguh mendalam saya hari ni

  20. Dnas,

    boleh ke kita mengelak riba?? skang one of my hire purchase is under Bank Islam, the other one is not. and most of the businesses and banks, still ada konsep riba, personal loan being one, menjadi2... late charges lagi banyak from monthly instalments.. tak ke paiseh like that.


    alaaa... all in good time dear.

    btw.. again, i am Kiut and i know that muahahahahahaaaa

  21. hmmm... *thoughtful expression*
    i wasn't. then i was. now, i'm not. but of course, i will.

  22. Wow, what an in-depth discussed topic.

    As a guy, I shall not force my gf, wife or what not to wear tudung if she doesn't want to. I know by saying this, I am inviting scorn or strong comment from some people but that is how I honestly feel.

    Besides, I have a liking for long haired ladies. To hedge myself, I must say that there are some pretty short haired ladies out there too.

    Hmm, I shall leave it at that.

  23. hey mark...

    u're my kind of guy :P

  24. Sarcy, it's not my comment, but one I copied and pasted.

  25. JAde,

    *confused expression* you wasnt what till recently dear?? akak keliru gitu!


    i have a friend who told me that he wants to be with someone hijab-less because he thinks wearing one is overrated. he is this dude i have a small crush on... and i'd be like twirling my hair in front of him, quietly;



    wah wahhhh.. serta merta!


    yes. but you copied and pasted it, so it becomes yours in this blog dear. :)
    BTW-- AKAK SANGAT SEDIH sebab ada orang gesel Wiwa saya. walau[pun sket and simple polish could get rid of it, still sedeh okayy cause my Wiwa dah cacat sikit... :(

  26. the best way and motivator will be;
    to keep ourselves reminded
    about our judgement day and death

    kita mungkin pergi meninggalkan dunia dan mengadap Allah
    pada bila-bila masa
    mungkin bila dah tua nanti
    mungkin 20 tahun lagi
    mungkin 10 tahun lagi
    mungkin esok..

    pasal cara orang lain tu
    buat apa nak ikut dan kisahkan
    dan apatah lagi untuk dijadikan sebab
    untuk kita tidak mengikut perintahNya

    i guess, you know the rest of the drill, right?

    sorry dear..
    but, reality bites
    berkatalah benar walaupun pahit

  27. Katak Besar,

    erk.. okeeeyyy...

    *roll eyes*