Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Exodus, Italian and Coffee

J : So you want Italian coffee or Jew coffee

Me : Eh?

J: Jew coffee, we go Starbucks, Italian, we go Illy.

Me : Bucks

J : Cannot walk through...

Me : All the sudden, the Exodus cam up and and I am thinking about he whole sea parting thing. Maybe if I just command all these people to move then we can walk through


*Ok... I am sorry... I hope that this is not offensive. I have nothing against Starbucks and I don't think that they support the Israelis. Although, the consumption does sort of mean I am pro capitalist. Then again I am a workaholic. Have a good Thursday everyone! Anyone want to hang out with me at KLCC later? ;)

Monday, June 27, 2011

So... what happened?

I find it odd when people asked me that.

Especially, when I know, without asking, that it had something to do with The Scotsman.

I would usually shrug, looked down at my brand new shoes (One of the many I have decided to splurge on) and said...

"Well... nothing. We enjoy each other's company."


The truth is, I have decided to de-tach myself from The Scotsman. He is still a dear friend, and whenever we can, we will hang out together. We still text stupid blonde, Scottish and Nationalist jokes once in a while.

But there is just something screaming at the back of my brain telling me that I need to slow down. Take a step back, go to higher ground and take the view in from there.

I have to learn how to let go of all sarcasm on being in love, relationships and marriage in order for me to think about things, objectively.

Objectively, I am not supposed to be feeling any kind of contempt towards the subject of relationships and marriage, men and babies, housewives and jetsetters, smart vs dumb people.

Objectively, I am supposed to see everyone as having their own agenda in life. It varies from having a certain level of intellect to not having any.

At 32, I learnt that shit happens, and it hits the fan in a big way. But I also believe that things happen for a reason, and when that happen, we will be thinking to ourselves, why the fuck didn't I think of that before.

Afterall, I am no Wonderwoman.

Speaking of Wonderwoman, I grew up wanting to be a flying bad ass in star studded blue lycra-ish underwear and a gold bustier.

I remembered faintly of me wearing my mother's oversized 'kain batik' jumping from the sofa /bed/cabinet/my Grandpa's dog trying to act like Wonderwoman.

I heard about Hollywood attempt at mortalizing the bra busting hooligan ass kicking woman on the silver screen.

What I didn't know was that Megan Fox, the chick who got dumped from Transformers is the one who is going to be filling in Wonderwoman's red boots.

For what it's worth, she does look like Wonderwoman, the skinnier version.

But then again, Wonderwoman never actually looked chubby.

Look at those jugs... How can you not want to terrorize your cat and the house dog in that?

A pity about the camel toe bit though.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Human connection

Truth be told, I don't even want to be married.

Do I want to have kids? Umm... the answer at the moment would be... no.

Yes, I like babies less than 2 Years Old kids, but to have them calls for big responsibilities.

It's not so much the financial bit of it, it's the fact that I am incomplete as a woman still. My baby at the moment is my career and to have another with actual poop and pee, that's another story altogether.

What I do want, however, is a relationship that goes beyond all those expectations. A relationship that will sustain even if we will not have a chance to be a 'normal couple'.

What is normal anyway? I don't think struggling financially to bring up a kid is 'normal'.

But yes, I want it, but I don't need it. I feel lonely at times, but I won't settle. I can't settle. I tried, failed miserably.

So, I am now not really at peace. Talked to Jade recently and she thought that my 'Sarcyliciousness' is ... not there anymore.

I am just feeling tired. People disappoint me lately. I think I am doing too much for people who takes me for granted.

It's people giving too many excuses I can't accept, people who complaint but never do something about it, people who I try to help but is not helping themselves.

I am also tired of men. Seriously, you guys need a third head on top of the two heads you already have.

I am also tired of being tired of these things. The only thing that helped me a bit was my work out.

And the fact that I still have left some of that sanity at the back of my head. (And cash to buy pretty things), does help.
I need a break.


I have a lot of lost friendships.

It's hard to offend me, but I do get offended.

It's not my habit to bring up the past.

If I want to let go of a friendship, let's just say, I will do nothing about it.

All these while, I noticed that I would be the only one who is trying to keep the friendship, and not everyone else. Overtime, it eats you, like a virus.

The disappointment of being taken for granted can consume you to a certain degree I guess. I might be ok on my own, but seriously, I do feel alone and worst... taken for granted.

I am not concerned to care about anything else anymore. Since I am already on my own anyway.. I will be fine.

I hope this is only a phase.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


The English translation for the above word would be :


And I am not referring to the 'lazy Sunday' concept.

Some people just have this laid back take to improvement. They are lazy to make the effort on making themselves better.

And instead of acknowledging that they need help, they bitched about the people who wants to help them.

On top of that, they would usually give excuses that would, quite pathetically, make them sound as if, they are not at fault at all.

And despite getting multiple warnings and 'talks' with their superiors on 'performance', they decided, hell... I am not going to do a flying fuck about it. Fuck them!

These people would usually tell these things to other people when they bad talk about their work :

1) Hello. I don't need a fucked up bitch to tell me what to do. -- Most 'fucked up bitch' who tells you what to do, have their own reason on telling you what to do. It's when the 'fucked up bitch' stops telling you what to do that tells you, you are in deep shit.

2) Without this job, I can still live. Sedangkan ulat bawah batu pun boleh hidup, ini kan aku! (Even worms under a rock is able to survive, why not me?) --- my usual slap back for this would be --- Kau ulat ke? Pergi makan tanah sekarang! (Are you a worm? Go eat dirt now!)

3) This is just a stepping stone for me. I have yet to find out what's my true potential! --- Your true potential now is to be a person who will spend their whole life trying to find out what's their potential which might not be any at all!

In the end, there is only 1 thing that can sum up the excuses they try to give to people.

It's simply because you are ----- LAZY aka MALAS.

When people who are trying to help you just one day decided that, I can't do this, that's when you know you are in real trouble.

I have come across people like these a lot lately. And I have only been a manager for less than 2 years now.

And being a manager is nothing to be bragged about. A manager has to put in extra effort, and I have always believed that when you are a manager, you don't actually have people to work for you. In reality, the manager themselves are the ones who are busting their ass to work for their staff.

True story.

Of course, if you are a manager who thinks you are doing things just by shouting at your staff, then you wouldn't be able to relate to this particular definition of a manager.

Susah. Nak tolong tak boleh, taknak tolong pun tak boleh.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Me? Political? Nooooo...

I am apolitical.

For a reason.

I get extremely frustrated when talking about politics.

And I am in a position where I don't have a single concern for the people in power right now, or for the opposition.

Because all of them are fighting for their own interests. The opposition was saying that they are pro - equality when the fact remains that they are just 'thinking the best for their own people'.

We live in layers of political hypocricy. And worst, everything is mixed up with the matter of race and religion.

Which is all bullshit.

I have been very outspoken about my 'political' frustration. So much so that my Mother thinks I should shut up and just keep my opinions to myself.

Well, Mum, that's not gonna happen.

I love Malaysia. In all it's humidity and people who thinks Durian is the king of fruits, I love this country.

Malaysians mostly are very well rounded people. At least we know where KFC comes from although I have to admit, I didn't know about Erithrea being a country until I was 25.

But... all and all, we are very well rounded. We know each other's culture and we are fine with it. I love the fact that parents' neighbours, who are not Muslims, gave me a green packet on Raya. I love the fact that my married Non - Chinese friends gave us single ones red packets.

I love the fact that we celebrate every single festivities together.

What I don't like (hate) is that the government thinks that the people are a bunch of retards whose lives need to be directed to a certain moral standard, devised by them!

They are giving attention and priority on things that shouldn't matter and undermining those issues that needs to be up there in the first place.

And Malaysians are either 1) Racists or 2) Too tired to care and is just waiting to get the hell out of this country.

To affect change is similar to getting your bum flogged by your Malay ancestry saying that I am traitor and to be accused of all the others of being a fool.

And then people ask me why I don't have any political stand?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


I have resolved to NOT talk about my personal life ie--love life on my blog.

I know I know, I have made that mistake sooo many bloody times... but I think I have been quite succesful these past few days no?

I shrugged it off even when my close friends ask me about it. I don't see the point to be 'transparent' about that part of my life.

If I get engaged, if I get married then I would certainly share it here so that you guys can go and buy Da Ma Cai (a kind of lottery), lotto or go to a casino in Genting to win big.

Don't worry, I am very nice that way.. remember hor... 20% my share ah?!


An acquaintance actually told me that I am the most 'positive and influential' individual he had ever known.

This is mainly because of my dedication and the hamstring splitting stretching discipline I have on my fitness regime.

It is sooo painful that it's oh so gewd.... (The workout discipline that is... not the fact that I 'am' positive and ehem..influential)

I told him that he doesn't know me well enough to say that.

I am the most pessimistic person 'I' know. Optimism had never been my First, Last or Middle name.

I am always expecting the worst, I guess that's why I am so good in managing operations, because I am the damage control person. Every implementation comes with step by step on 'how to not panic and salvage the fucked up situation.... now that it is already fucked up' plan.

I never won anything except for the I-Pod Nano I got in the lucky draw last year.

I remembered when I was 10, when my brother was an avid Ribena drinker, I took part in the contest, wanting to win myself a Personal Computer (The reeeaaallly big one). The contest needs you to have proof of purchase so I was lucky in a way that my brother seemed to be a ribena-holic.

10 thousand forms (I am .. exaggerating) and many many sessions of lugging the heavy glass bottle of ribenas later, I didn't win.... ANYTHING.

Not even the consolation prize.

All I got was about 10 plastic Ribena Berry mugs, even that was because the 'uncle' at the grocery shop maybe took pity on me and decided to give me, the ribena buyer, something to be excited for.

So.. yes... I never won anything.

But if I win the I-Pad at the coming company appreciation dinner, I would definitely post it here so that the rest of you can go and 'beli nombor ekor.' (Malaysian term for buying lottery ticket somehow)

I don't think I am ever good for anyone. It could be a million things that contributed to this. I am not rich enough, I am not smart enough, I am not pretty enough, I am not perky enough... etc ... etc....

See how I am not all Miss Sunshiney day here?

But somehow, now, my workout enables me to have a better outlook on life, now that I kind of have a purpose in life (To be fitter), I am ... alright... not Ms. Positivity of course, maybe... in the middle...

I swear, sometimes that's how my actual handwriting looks like...

Oh well... It's a Thursday everyone!

Monday, June 13, 2011

There is no sweet gain without pain...

A picture I asked to be taken just because I want to know if those burpees, push ups and weight training did me justice or not, if those sweat and tears I secreted is well worth the muscle pain of twisted wrists and veins and what have you nots...

Not to forget all the time I strived on making my own meals so that I would be able to keep with the diet... (Still not able to forego my post workout soy latte, Cappuccino and that... sinful sinful chocolate chip muffin with Moroccan mint Tea treat every weekend! If not, I think I will be awesome-er. -_-)

So the next time some skinny person come up to me and said that I am fat, I will drag her to the gym and bury her under exercise mats, dumb bells and the treadmill.


Friday, June 10, 2011


We have Italian women, French and Spanish.

And then we have Malaysian women...

WE are basically, a strong bunch.

THEN come the Obedient Wives Club bull shitting about obedience to husbands and whoring to stop the husbands from committing infidelity.

But... Muslim men can actually marry up to 4 wives. REDUNDANCY!

Malaysian women... why are we even letting this to happen?

I am obedient.. yes... to myself... and never to anyone else.

But I had fun making fun of it. We need comedy in our mundane lives... no?

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


I do get jealous.

And angry.

I get jealous when someone else gets what I want without so much as a struggle.

And angry when that someone doesn't cherish/take care/show gratitude for the thing that they got.

But... everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why I have to work, and sometimes fight for what I want.

I hope I will be able to see the silver lining clearer, just by working harder for it.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Half the year gone... And so what have we done so far?

I had a dream just now, of going to the gym and working out.

That's a sign that I simply must go to the gym, so I went.

I guess a lot of things happened so far. I met a man, I made some decisions, which if I am to make public will definitely cause a lot of hoo-haa from my family, and friends I guess.

That is why I must be tight lipped about it.

And all of the sudden, it is already June 2011. Where did the first half of the year gone to? Honestly, dunno.

And will the world end in 2012 according to the Mayan prophecy? I am in no position to say anything about that.

What I do know is that I now can run for more than 5 minutes at a stretch and I can finish 50 reps of mountain climbers exercise.

And also, that I suck at having a personal life.


I have mentioned before that I am not... maternal.

I can never relate (Or I guess like how my friends would put it.. can never relate... yet) to how a kid can bring about so much emotions and ... feelings... I guess.

I can hardly hold a baby, let alone, have feelings for them... or to be maternally charged, or to miss a kid when I am working... or anything like that.

I am the kind of person who can't even remember her parents' birthdays, let alone anyone else's. I don't expect anyone else to remember mine too. I won't be home sick, because I learned to make do with what I have and where I am at. I am not attached to my family and I can no longer live with them for more than a month.

I lived with them for about 5 years before I moved back to KL and those 5 years were tumultous and choppy. After I moved back here, I realized that I just could NOT live with my parents anymore.

And I think my relationship with my Mother, especially, had been better than when we lived together. That is something to maintain.

So to picture me, having a kid, to be all mushed when I give birth to one, is very... un-picture-able... in the lack of a proper word.

So forgive me, friends, if I look somewhat vacant when you guys gush to me about how your baby pooped nuts or gurgle their ABCs to you.

I can't relate... yet.