Friday, June 3, 2011

Half the year gone... And so what have we done so far?

I had a dream just now, of going to the gym and working out.

That's a sign that I simply must go to the gym, so I went.

I guess a lot of things happened so far. I met a man, I made some decisions, which if I am to make public will definitely cause a lot of hoo-haa from my family, and friends I guess.

That is why I must be tight lipped about it.

And all of the sudden, it is already June 2011. Where did the first half of the year gone to? Honestly, dunno.

And will the world end in 2012 according to the Mayan prophecy? I am in no position to say anything about that.

What I do know is that I now can run for more than 5 minutes at a stretch and I can finish 50 reps of mountain climbers exercise.

And also, that I suck at having a personal life.


I have mentioned before that I am not... maternal.

I can never relate (Or I guess like how my friends would put it.. can never relate... yet) to how a kid can bring about so much emotions and ... feelings... I guess.

I can hardly hold a baby, let alone, have feelings for them... or to be maternally charged, or to miss a kid when I am working... or anything like that.

I am the kind of person who can't even remember her parents' birthdays, let alone anyone else's. I don't expect anyone else to remember mine too. I won't be home sick, because I learned to make do with what I have and where I am at. I am not attached to my family and I can no longer live with them for more than a month.

I lived with them for about 5 years before I moved back to KL and those 5 years were tumultous and choppy. After I moved back here, I realized that I just could NOT live with my parents anymore.

And I think my relationship with my Mother, especially, had been better than when we lived together. That is something to maintain.

So to picture me, having a kid, to be all mushed when I give birth to one, is very... un-picture-able... in the lack of a proper word.

So forgive me, friends, if I look somewhat vacant when you guys gush to me about how your baby pooped nuts or gurgle their ABCs to you.

I can't relate... yet.

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