Tuesday, May 27, 2014


I made two of my staff cry yesterday. 

One happened in front of my boss and one happened later on in the evening. 

One thing that I noticed in this team was that, the workload was too much for one person to take. It wasn't until I took over that I managed to bring my boss' attention to it. 

There was a lot of things that went unnoticed until I took over and went up mountains to tell it to everyone. 

Both of them was so overwhelmed with work that that broke down in during our 1:1s, one of them made me swear to not tell people that she actually cried in front of my boss, which is her second level boss. 

It was a triangular coaching session and my boss was assessing me. 

I have good people in my team, however I can understand the stress and pressure that they would feel with all the ridiculous volume and requests going back and fro from one team to another. 

In a very manual process, this is a very tricky thing to do. 

What I can do was to ask them to give me time for changes. Changes are inevitable. But it is coming. I have many things on my plate, balancing them had been a challenge last couple of months, but now I am becoming more of what was expected of me in this organisation. 

But, I refuse to change to the negative facade I can see some team leads emit. 

It's not healthy to be those people, and in block every unhealthy things from my system. 


Sunday, May 18, 2014


I have to admit, with certain people, I tend to ... avoid them.

I know of a person who can get downright whiny that he drove me up the wall. I am a patient person.

I am a VERY patient person. So, there is a special place in hell for people who can drive me up the wall.

My parting gift to him was a coffee press for Christmas in 2012. I can never even imagine myself to be sitting at the same table. Again.

To an extent, this may sound mean, selfish... not a good thing for anyone to do.

But I am  doing myself a favor. I don't want to say bad things about this person anymore. I want to spare my best friend the pain of listening to me complaining about this person. I want to spare myself the negativity.

No point living with bitter observation of a person who is not good for you. And I am sure, that person would be glad to be rid of me too.

I wish him nothing but the best in his life. I am not the least sorry for not being there for or with him. I know he has a lot more friends who can handle his emotional outbursts better than I have.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Do you find yourself telling people that you have no choice but to do something at a specific point of time? 

Nowadays, I try to not say 'I don't have a choice.' 

Because, seriously, we always have choices. 

Ever read something on something as flimsy as Facebook to get an epiphany? Or.. Ok.. A realisation at the most. I read what an FB friend wrote on choices... And it urges my gray matter to respond to it. In a sense of agreement, I concur to the notion. 

Even in life and death situations, there are always choices. Your choices depend on what you place as your life priorities, and your priorities depend on who you are.

There are always at least two choices to a situation. There's never none. 

With that, make your choice if either positivity or negativity. Remember, the consequences will always be yours to bear. 

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

A moment of certainty...

I realized that all these while, I have been hanging in the balance between my sanity and my need to have a full life. 

A few years ago, I may have that need to be a corporate success. I want to have all the glory, to have that bitch stamp on my forehead. Then, I thought that would be a showcase of my achievement. 

But really, now, I think what I need to place more emphasis on would be my life, my non corporate endeavors, one that surpasses all sorts of material gain. 

I want to be happy. So fucking happy, that when it's all over, I can smile and leave this world knowing that I have done one thing right about life, and that is, living it the way it should have been. 


Monday, May 5, 2014

Here goes

1) If you had all the money in the world, how would you choose to spend your life.

I have had different kind of perspectives when it comes to having money.

When I was a kid, I had very limited cash. My parents were not well to do folks. Everything we had was budgeted.

So I grew up wanting to have a lot of  money. I wanted to earn to be able to afford the things that I thought I needed.

So I thought about this for a long time yesterday.

If I have all the money in the world, I would like to have a normal life, low key. I would like to be able to teach yoga. I would like to be able to be an unassuming person. Of course, if I have all the money in the world, I think I will be able to have the chance to do a lot of things that I am not able to do now.

And I guess, a designer handbag wouldn't hurt.

That, and travel. To all the places I would like to go to.

And charity. I want to feed the starving and educate the poor.

And still be a normal person, with a normal life.

Again, a designer bag wouldn't hurt.

I am a human being afterall.