Sunday, February 25, 2007

Loners Do This

My fling, Phil came to an arrangement with me, he wants to see me, still, which I find very peculiar.

I was so ready to play bodo when he called, but yet I didn’t have the heart to. One is because he is really a good man to begin with, two, he cooks and three, he speaks to me with respect and patience.

He called from Jakarta, he had a one week conference. He said he called me because he was thinking about me. We have been incommunicado for almost 2 weeks now. I was in a good mood so I picked his call this time. I must have surprised him as his first response was a startled ‘Oh?!’

“Thought I won’t pick it up?” I asked followed by a chuckle from him.

I got to know that he has been spending his weekends alone, reading my blog and was glad that I am doing well on my own. He no longer goes to the pub where he first met me as often as he did, plus he said when he last went, all he was thinking of was the day I spoke to him.

I thought that was a wee bit, pitiful. I want him to go back to his life before I met him, when I didn’t exist when he doesn’t have to care about anybody. The way things are supposed to be.

But here’s the deal, I will continue to see him because sometimes I could be pathetically alone and when that happens I would think about BF(ex) and beat myself up over the thing which failed. He puts it as play pretend.

But only on the weekends, I told him.

So I picked him from the airport and made up, and he cooked my favorite vegan pasta and had it in front of the TV on the couch, toes touching under the blanket, I learnt how to pop open a bottle of cheap champagne that he has lying around the house and we had a bottle bubbly while watching Heroes.

Things we agree to for companionship. Things singles do to not be alone.


  1. sweetie, remind me again why you wont have a relationship with this guy..soundsl ike he is quite smitten by you and you are putting up your wall. (sorry i cant keep up with your lurrrve life lah!)

    MsJ inconditus