My weekend rambles and dos

“My greatest strength is my humility. My greatest weakness is that I am a little too awesome.” – Barack Obama

Ooh... *drools*... You can run my government anytime senator!
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I was staring at the tiniest butt in Starbucks the other night.

I didn’t mean to stare but it was just too... tiny that it was intriguingly, umm... odd.

I have always been prosperous as far as my butt ie derriere is concerned, and the thing about this tiny butt is just that, it looked so... weird.

So that said you can’t really blame me for being kind of... umm.. preoccupied and butt – ified for maybe 10 minutes as the tiny butt stands around waiting for her caffeine fix. Can’t blame me for being used to bigger and shapelier butts.

But (no pun intended) you can bet your ass that Ms. Tiny butts probably finds my butt weird. In her world, any butt that doesn’t look like hers are weird.

I envied her for being able to fit in those skinny jeans though. The thing that disturbed me is when (I know I had it coming la) when I tried to imagine her naked.

Urm...

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Portrait of a Starbucker in car

Us Starbuckers have a general unwritten rule.

If you are not using a laptop, don't sit at the power points.

We mean it. Move now.. move!

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Sometimes on weekends, I would drive out at midnight to all the party spots.

Bangsar and along the Beach club stretch.

Last weekend, I did just that. I wound down my window and I checked things out.

Drunk people – check
Expats looking for meat – check
Expats going off with meat – check
Beautiful men with a D size cup – check
Beautiful men with butt cracks half showing – check
Men checking me out in my car – check
Men wolf whistling at me who stays in my car (can’t blame them really, in that light, anyone is worth whistling at!) – check
Underaged Mat rempits hanging out in front of the club because they have less than RM 10 in pocket (Hence they can’t go in) – Check

Ahhh... the KL nightlife.

It had always been that way. Some things never change.

Have I ever got picked up in a club? No... why? Surprised? Alcohol strips men of their IQ, they already don't have a lot of it to begin with. What makes you think that I would even entertain them in a club?

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I have had free wireless at home. It will be connected for more than 5 hours every morning and sometimes at the wee hours of early morning.

God knows what that person is doing at that hour, porn, whatever... but I do know that I am happy that he/she decided to go online. I couldn't seem to get to sleep so I would sometimes be up playing my games. So when that wireless blinks... I am the happiest insomniac person aliveàAt that hour.

Thanks neighbour, just wishing you would be online more often. 24-7 is not too much to ask for innit? There is nothing like porn everyday eh?

Yeah... Sarc is a bad influence. On second thought, anything goes for free wireless I figured.

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Who would have thought eh?

I went to this on Sunday.

It was not planned. We decided to go when we learnt one of my little cousins are taking part in the Zapin interlude.

I am a Johorean, I love Zapin, so I decided what the heck. I have never been to a Bangsawan anyway.

I went with an open mind.

We parked at the wrong DBKL lot. Thankfully it was within walking distance. After a fast chicken dinner and after finding out how close we were to Masjid India and successfully kept ourselves from shopping for cheap trinkets and stuff, we walked to the theatre hall.

It was quite a walk. No joy for my aunt who was 8 months pregnant.

The verdict... well it’s mixed. There were the ups and then there were the downs.

But I have to say on the production side, I was quite impressed, seeing that it’s quite a small production and the fact that admittance is free, I must say, not bad at all. Following the traditional Bangsawan format, it was authentic. Although I cringed at the few typos on the brochure, I figured, let’s not pick on the small stuff.

I didn’t know any of the cast, that’s given. I was excited when the spotlight was turned on my little cousin. Who would have thought this cheeky little boy opted for Zapin in school. His school won the national dance competition which finals was held in Terengganu a few months before. Needless to say, his parents are a proud couple.

The play was based on the original Nujum Pak Belalang folklore with music adapted from the P. Ramlee version. There were comic intervals in between.

I have two complaints. First, we had kids in the audience, and one of the short comic sketch is about the two trying to act out a rape scene. They made raping and being raped as somewhat funny. This is disturbing. I thought this would not instill the proper information to the young audiences about the gravity of the act. I was not happy about that. Most of the jokes had a concealed sexual connotation to it. Adults laughed, kids will try to find out what that was all about.

And we complained about Avril Lavigne being too sexy on stage? Oih... for the love of God.

The other complaint was also on the interval act. Since it is still technically Raya, they came up with a modern dance with a lip synching dancer holding on to a microphone.

Come on, stick with the concept. I don't know about other people, but I found it stupid to have a dancer lip synching on the stage. The whole idea of having a modern leather jacket fedora wearing dancers on stage in a traditional staging of a Malay folklore is, just... not right. It’s appalling actually.

Other than those, I have to say, the Bangsawan is a thumbs up. If you have any spare time on the weekends, find out what’s on and go. It’s no Les Miserables, but, it is free.

And of course I have to say this, my little cousin is a rock star!

Taken right after the play in front of Panggung Bandaraya