Monday, September 8, 2008

Oh hello... was I affiliated to you romatically circa ancient BC?

Going through my little black book (yes, Sarcy have one of those) I realize that I have made those ‘what was I thinking’ error. Of course, I am not supposed to be surprised, because being in the dating world is but a trial and error stage that everyone go through. I bet that some of the men I dated considered me as an error. My middle name could be ‘bitch’ or even ‘stupid’.

To me, the names that were written in the book now is only a bunch of alphabets that make up my past. I didn’t remember any one of them in person. I don't even know how they must have looked like.

But I am pretty sure that they could not even remember my first and last name.

Apparently, I was wrong. I have been the only one who could forget the men I have had relationships with, except for a few exceptional ones with whom I have decided to stay in contact with.

My amnesia was so bad that I couldn't even remember one even if they are standing in front of me and told me their name.

However, I couldn't forget one encounter I had with one of my exes. I was at Tony Roma’s having my weekly catch up with a friend and was served by a waiter who was kind of awkward having to serve us. My friend told me that he had been looking at our table and especially at me a few times. The waiter was not worth my attention and I brushed it off. I told her it was probably because he was dazzled at my charm, in a joking way.

My friend, being the nosy one decided to engage in small talk with the waiter.

“Oh so, Er***...”

I looked up and checked out his tag. It says Er***. All of the sudden I went way back, when I was 19. He was one of those ‘err... so I dated HIM?’ mistake I did when I was still young, dumb and unassuming.

“Oh my God... Sy***.... he was one of my exes. Well... I was a student then, and he was a cute, so I thought, waiter... Shit!!! And he is still a waiter!”

I laughed. We laughed, cackled like witches rather. We had ‘Mean Bitches’ stamped all over our faces.

But that was okay considering that I could still remember his name at least. What happened in KLCC during my solo shopping rounds was even absurdly... interesting.

A guy stopped me and asked how I am doing. I looked at him like I have come across an unfamiliar figure in a Barney the Purple Dinosour costume.

“You don't remember me? 2002? TTDI?”

He was a puny figure I wouldn’t even consider to be in anyway involved with now.

“Umm... Sh*****? I was the one who was driving the beemer? We were kind of umm... together back then.”

I was thinking, what makes you think I would be able to remember you just by telling me that you drove a beemer back then? But instead of being sarcastic I went;

“I am sorry. I really couldn't recall. Maybe you got the wrong person.”

“You are A** right? You are a Johorean and you were previously attached with Universiti ****** **?”

“I am A** but for the love of God, I really couldn't recall you at all. I am sorry.”

“ Well anyway. You look better.”

“Thanks. Well gotta run.”

And I walked. What you don't think I would be staying one second longer and start to exchange numbers do you? Sure I must have looked like a bitch to the guy (I still couldn't remember him.) but I really didn’t think of staying in that really awakward conversation.

If I was ever in a relationship with the man, boy, I must have been desperate. I hope I have never slept with him. Maybe I broke it up with him, but if it was the other way around, well... sucks for him I guess.

My friend, a psychologist told me that they have a name for this and they call it selective memory. Everyone has it. I choose what I want to remember and this include the people I have met along the way. Those that mattered were only the prime figures that made an impact on my life.

That is why I could remember my first teenage love affair, my two great loves, the bastard who cheated on me, the two gentlemen I met during my last solo beach vacation and a few other occasions in the past that I have held on to so it would be a constant reminder for me on what NOT TO DO and WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. Anything else who didn’t matter, was subconsciously, erased.

Thinking back, I would rather remember the good looking men I have had relationships with rather than the “what was I thinking!” ones.

This condition also applies to my circle of friends. There were a few people with whom I have fell out with and I have completely forgotten about. I just didn’t think I should be remembering such people and that these people really don't deserve me as their friend.

After that lengthy explanation by my psychologist friend, I have come to a conclusion that hey... I actually like this selective memory thing. It updates and cleans my hard drive without me trying to.

So if someone who claimed to have known you or even was involved in a relationship with you approach you anytime, what you can do is to tell them that ‘Hey... I have selective memory... so I don't remember you... man you must have really sucked back then.’ You can either blame or thank your selective memory.



  1. still remember me or not? hahaha...

  2. WAhlauweh... *thumbs up*

    I swear to god if I ever do see you on the street I will test that selective memory of yours to the max. :D

    Anyway, that's the way everyone should live, remember what really needs to be remembered, not the unecessary bits.

  3. Jade...

    You are.. apa nama... hahahaha!


    well.. considering i dont know you in person, that's gonna be tough la...

    But.. a friend of mine told me that a guy can never actually forget anybody that they have sex with. true ah?

  4. selective memory or selective amnesia?

  5. sarc : Uh.. regarding the sex bit, I don't have that many to remember... so I can't really comment :P

  6. Waaaheyy Des welcome!

    either one la. i am not the psychologist here.. so dont ask me.


    ahhhh.. you have been a good boy... ihihihihi

  7. Sarcy,

    I gotta agree with you on this, about the selective memory bit. I do only remember the best shags!! heh...the best of everything actually, but always tend to forget the somewhat negative bits of life!