Scare

A few days ago, I discovered a lump on my left breast.

It's small, like a raisin, but it's there.

Now, I am fiercely defensive about my independence. The last thing I want, would be to impose on my family and friends. I hate depending on someone else for anything.

I wouldn't know how I would react if I am ever going to be diagnosed with a terminal disease and would have to depend on someone else to take care of me. I would not know how I am going to cope with that.

I made an appointment with my gynae. All throughout the weekend, I can't stop wondering what if it is cancerous. I would be a statistic. How it would be like for my family. My friends. I will lose almost everything I have worked for. And die... Young.

I was weirdly calm. The check up was quick. An ultrasound was performed and the doctor said with a smile..

`Well, there's really nothing to be concerned with. Let's take a look at your cervix just to be sure.'

So, I have a healthy ovary and the doctor was happy to affirm that I am fertile.

The lump turned out to be a small cyst, that will usually disappear after my menstrual cycle. Accidentally I had my menses a day after I made the appointment.

Hey what do I know, I only know how to be paranoid.

But, I was grateful, that it wasn't what I thought. I am grateful that I still have a chance to perfect my Dhanurasana.

Even if it is, life moves on.

With Love, Namaste.

Ayu

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