Wednesday, May 22, 2013

My thoughts on Dating and relationships.

I am not someone who is approachable.

For some reason, I look as if I think too much, or are just way too serious, or maybe I look like I may just bash someone in the head if they even speak to me.

(And no, I have never bash someone in the head because they approach me with a friendly gesture.)

But most of the time, I put it down to my unattractive facade.

I am strangely okay with it. I have all the me time I want every Saturday when I go out for my coffee dose after yoga, just myself, a good book and a cup of cappuccino.

Would I like people to approach me, say hi and tell me that I look interesting, or perhaps.. pretty? Which woman wouldn't? But I have grown accustomed to my own solo routine, I have grown accustomed to being on my own.

On dates, I have no interest to be in one, for now.  I will go if I get a date, but because I don't, I am not interested. I believe in living my life in the moment now rather than hoping. Have I given up? Well.. not ... quite. I am just being open to the possibilities.

It's all about perspectives, no?

However, I am strangely open to having a healthy relationship. I haven't had a healthy relationship in a long time, where feelings, respect and affections are mutual.

Am I looking for marriage and kids?

Not exactly. I know I will be happy just having someone to hug at night, to fall back to, someone who will make me smile. Someone who will cook me breakfast on a lazy Saturday morning, and someone that I maybe can salute the sun together, who values fitness, like me.

I would be lying if I said I don't have physical preferences. EVERYONE does. People say that one should not be too choosy.

At this age, settling would be a waste of time on top of a waste of time. You can call it pride, ego, whatever that fits the situation, but I call it, a good thing.

No one should lower their expectations and settle for something, just because they have to go along with what other people expects of them (people includes your parents'). Nobody should be living a lie.

I am lucky I am able to pull myself together, to dig myself out of the mess that I was 5 years ago, and then again several months before. I still smile at Tom's portrait everyday when I start work and before I go home, without fail. I will get out of this, but I need time.

Namaste and with Love,


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