Friday, May 10, 2013

I am doing okay.

One of the things that seemed to puzzle some of my friends out there is my solitude.

They are puzzled as to how I can be so comfortable with being on my own.

I mean, as far as I am concerned, I am a-okay with being on my own. I never felt awkward eating, or just travelling alone.

It will be great if I have company, but if all else fails and I am going to be alone for the rest of my life, I will have to learn on being on my own and be comfortable with my own company.

I think as far as having expectations on having a relationship is way out of my agenda right now. I tried, but I just... am not willing to put in effort into it anymore.

It is not just because of Tom... mind you. It is also because, I am just....I just gave up.

Giving up seems to be the most relevant option for me to take.

Once in a while, I like to imagine how my life would be like if I am in a relationship. It may be awesome, if I can get the same kind of commitment from the person I end up with.

But in what world is that ever going to happen. Maybe I had already been in a fulfilling relationship in my past life, maybe I did have that with Tom, and because that happened in my past life, and because it seemed like I have a standing karma with Tom, I am now going to end up on my own.

You will notice that I try not to say that I will end up alone... just on my own.

I am surviving, and I am living.

With Love, Namaste.


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