Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Objectives

When I was a kid :

- I wanted to grow up.
- I wanted to eat fast food everyday.
- I hated boys.
- I wanted to make money.

When I was a teenager :

- I wanted to grow up.
- I wanted to get into a university.
- I hated boys.
- I hated my body.
- I hated my face.
- I wanted to make money.

When I was in my early 20's :

- I wanted to make money.
- I love boys.
- I hated my body.
- I wanted a husband.
- I wanted children.

When I was in my late 20's :

- I wanted self awareness.
- I had a love - hate relationship with men.
- I was in awe of my body.
- I wanted a partner.
- I gave up on a lot of things.

When I hit 30 :

- I was... feeling a sense of underachievement, but in a way, I couldn't believe I made it that far.
- I lost almost 20 kg.
- I had been practicing yoga for about 2 years at that time.
- I realized that most of my exes are non - Malays, and that I was less hurt and less suffocated in those relationships compared to when I was in a relationship with Malays.
- I realized that, I wouldn't be able to get some of the domestic stuff in life even if I try.
- I had a love-hate relationship with men.

Now :

- I realized, that happiness is the key. I was a better person when I was happy. I was a mess when I am not.
- Money is immaterial in happiness. I was most happy when I was at my old job.
- I realized that, I would never be someone's girlfriend, never going to be proposed to, never going to have children.
- I realized that it is okay to never be any one of those things.


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