Thursday, December 16, 2010

Sense and Sensibility

When my new boss asked me if I am married, I answered :

"No. I don't believe in marriage."

To which he replied with 'That's a pretty strong statement.'

It is a strong statement.

Recently one of the blogger in the upscale celebrity world of blogland got hitched. It came to me as a shock. Well, I know that they have been together for some time, but marriage after (I guess, a year?) is pretty... fast.

*Hyperventilating... fuh.. fuh...*

It's just fast.

And then a good friend of mine had recently started a relationship. Barely a month into the relationship, they are already making plans to be engaged in February 2011.


Please understand first and foremostly that I have nothing against marriage, sure I don't believe in it, but I have nothing against it.

However, at 31, even the idea of starting a new relationship scares me to death. It is nuts to go through all that again. The infatuation, the wondering... and of course, the break - up...

And yes, I know that I am not pretty enough, skinny enough and also my parents are not rich enough for me to qualify as someone's significant other.

Plus... I am a cocky, sarcastic bitch. Kind, I would like to think, even though I have low tolerance towards incompetence.

And as reflected by one of my best friends, VERY high maintenance.

Both in material and intellectual expectations.
I only have high material expectations because I now can pretty much provide for myself. I expect the man I would end up with (Either in a long term relationship... or marriage) to have control on his own life.

A bonus if he is well groomed and cute... without me pushing him to be... I am done being the mother in a relationship.

But, I am well aware that I am not living in a fantasy world. Even my supposedly gay friend looks like a yeti, how can I expect any straight men to be otherwise...

Congratulations Ninie... and to my good friend... May the engagement plans go through. ;)
As for me, I will continue to hyperventilate, just like the way I did when I got proposed to and ran walked away in panic. Maybe I will stop when the time is right.

Still looking out for that silver lining.

Maybe, Mr. Skelly will turn to my independent dream stud?


  1. Kalau dah jodoh ...

    My brother married my SIL after just 3 months of getting to know each other. They've been married for 8 years now.

    I suppose when you've met the right person, a question of whether it would be too soon to get hitched or not would be redundant. Especially when all you want to do is live in each other's pockets, so kahwin je lah.

    Heck, if Hugh Jackman or Wentworth Miller were to do the asking today, I'd marry him tomorrow!

  2. Leonardo Dicaprio (post-Blood Diamond).
    or Don Flack CSI NY.

  3. oh wait.. Damon Salvatore!
    see, i'm not commitment-phobic at all.

  4. Auwww, thanks babe!

    And for the 'upscale celebrity world of blogland' - that's definitely a first, considering I am not a celebrity & I don't consider myself a blogger, LOL..

    In love & in light,