How many of us can honestly say that we really understand ourselves?
I have to say, even now, at 34, I hardly understand some of the day to day decision that I do.
How is it that I decided on eating Oreos and not my normal muesli + skimmed milk combo in the morning? How can I eat 2 pieces of fried chicken, despite trying to be a vegetarian + the fact that I will have allergy reaction to the meat 10 mins after consumption?
(Please note that Oreos and fried chicken are just SO yummy.)
I still cannot understand my affinity towards Scottish men. I seek them out, it seems like. It's ridiculous.
I kind of broke down over the weekend. I am sure the lack of yoga has something to do with it.
The haze forced me to cut my yoga time to a minimum. I was sick for a couple of days with Tonsillitis and a bout of flu and work was draining.
Without my yoga time, I became slightly deranged, disoriented. I was extremely moody and I was demotivated.
"If death was an option that I can take, I would take it."
That was what I said.
Yesterday, I decided, enough is enough. So I laid out my meditation cushion (It's actually just a pillow.) and meditate for about 1 hour. I am still not able to practice as it is my moon days and until the 4th day, I am not encouraged to practice.
I cannot, for the life of me, fathom my need to break down once in a while. I am now confused over what I want to do in life. Career wise, what I want personally and what I hope to achieve in the next 6 months.
Is that new job really what I want? or is that my menial human obligations screaming out to me.
So.. for the next couple of days, I will strive to understand myself.
With Love, Namaste.
Ayu
I have to say, even now, at 34, I hardly understand some of the day to day decision that I do.
How is it that I decided on eating Oreos and not my normal muesli + skimmed milk combo in the morning? How can I eat 2 pieces of fried chicken, despite trying to be a vegetarian + the fact that I will have allergy reaction to the meat 10 mins after consumption?
(Please note that Oreos and fried chicken are just SO yummy.)
I still cannot understand my affinity towards Scottish men. I seek them out, it seems like. It's ridiculous.
I kind of broke down over the weekend. I am sure the lack of yoga has something to do with it.
The haze forced me to cut my yoga time to a minimum. I was sick for a couple of days with Tonsillitis and a bout of flu and work was draining.
Without my yoga time, I became slightly deranged, disoriented. I was extremely moody and I was demotivated.
"If death was an option that I can take, I would take it."
That was what I said.
Yesterday, I decided, enough is enough. So I laid out my meditation cushion (It's actually just a pillow.) and meditate for about 1 hour. I am still not able to practice as it is my moon days and until the 4th day, I am not encouraged to practice.
I cannot, for the life of me, fathom my need to break down once in a while. I am now confused over what I want to do in life. Career wise, what I want personally and what I hope to achieve in the next 6 months.
Is that new job really what I want? or is that my menial human obligations screaming out to me.
So.. for the next couple of days, I will strive to understand myself.
With Love, Namaste.
Ayu
No comments:
Post a Comment