Sunday, December 20, 2009

Gluttony For Punishment?

I was watching reruns of Friends when someone YM me. It was a rainy afternoon and I just finished doing my laundry and it was a Sunday, so I was surprised when I saw an acquaintance that I have not heard from for quite a while on my screen.

I knew this woman when I was dating one of my many exes, once upon a time ago. I was on and off in contact with her and though I 'tried' to keep in touch, we eventually lost touch again.

The last time we got through to each other was when she called me.This was a long time ago.

Everytime we got in touch with each other, the discussion always got to discussing about her relationships. The last time she was in one with a foreigner, she informed me that the man physically abused her. I told her to get out of it. She told me that for some reason, she could not and that it was difficult for her to do that because she was in love with the shameless man.

I backed down because I have never been in that kind of situation. I wouldn't know how I would react if I am in one. I have been lucky thus far, the men that I have been with never raised a hand on me. I don't know if it was because I was not worth that much for them to do so.

I have never cared about them anyway.

So we got to chatting a bit. I asked how she was doing and vice versa. She asked if I am married. I said 'HELL NO' and told her that I am much happier single and not thinking about problematic men. I am also concentrating on my career and I don't give a rat's ass about dating.

I asked her how she was doing. She said that she is now in a relationship, with another foreigner, who is cheating on her. She said she found out a lot of things she shouldn't have found out and although she is so called in a relationship, it didn't feel like it.

I asked her why is she in the relationship if it is fucked up and worthless. I told her to just stop being in it and just hang out more with friends. It is better that way, and leave things to its' course.

To me, I told her, things will happen when it does. No point staying in a relationship that won't work. I was talking from experience.

She, in turn told me that she doesn't have friends who would help her, and I honestly don't know how is that possible.

I don't have many friends, but I am lucky enough to have a few that I really treasure and whom I know would have my back whenever I need help.

She also asked me if I club nowadays, I said no, and promptly elaborated my answer saying that 'I grew out of that phase.'

I think she is older than I am, but I couldn't remember and we have never been close enough for me to know any kind of details about her.

Sometimes I do think that it might be true that most women are gluttons for punishment.

Why do most of us get stuck in the same ol' shit over and over again without making a change is for now, beyond me. I hope I would never get to find out, or be in those kinds of situations ever.

I found myself, irritated and annoyed by this woman's explanation. The excuses that she gave me that never seemed to change. She still sounds needy like the first time I met her. I guess this feeling also comes up from the fact that she only pops up once in a while, and instantly takes me as her punching bag, telling me the same kind of things, only the people in it seemed to change.

I ended the conversation. The question has been lingering in my head for a few hours since then.

If most women are indeed, gluttons for punishment, I hope I am not one of them.

So, I leave you lovely capable, extraordinary women out there with this. I think it is empowering.


  1. Hi Sarclover, wow! I love your style.
    I guess a man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
    I fully agree with you.....I too went around the block, but nobody warned me about women who can cook. And I got hit below the belt, ha ha, and lost my Bachelor's degree, she gained her Masters.

    Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away.
    Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

    Here's wishing you the very best of seasons greetings....have fun and keep a song in your heart, Lee.

  2. Izso,

    wow.. men ARE from Mars..

    Uncle Lim,