Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Baby Talk

Lately, I have been thinking about things a lot.

From how to get side income to having a proper love life, I have been thinking about those things a lot.

I was also thinking about what kind of things would people be talking about me behind my back, would it include things like I am a bisexual who is phobic of devout commitment.

Friends are now shocked with my confession of wanting to have a baby. I want a baby, I want to grow a little person in me that will cause excruciating pain upon having to push them out from me. I want 9 months of swollen feet, shrunk up bladder and pretty maternity dresses.

Strangely, when I was imagining myself being pregnant, the image doesn’t seem to come with a man by my side. It was just of me and my baby, and me, and me. and of course the baby.

“It’s the clock, it’s ticking, and you feel you are left behind.” A friend quoted.

“But really babe, seriously, you don’t want to have a husband with that bun in the oven?” the friend later asked.

Logically speaking, I would have to have a husband in order to get knocked up innit? But a woman of my reputation and standards (which was lowered to almost nil.) is finding it hard to find a man worthy enough of my attention.

I want someone I would race home just to be with. Likewise, I want him to be racing home just to see me.

Not to mention all the grisly she things that my other half would have to grin and bear with. My anal habits, my love for all things complicated and my stubbornness. On the other hand, the man I would choose to be with should rejoice and ‘jubilate’ as I am very capable of assembling various little furniture items and fixtures by myself.

I would just want the man of my choice to be slightly better at cooking. A chef would be great. Heh!

I asked someone if he wants to be my baby’s daddy, and he went quiet. Of course, the question itself would drive men to take the vow of silence la kan?

Okay.. I knoooow… I am rambling, but considering that I am about to be 29, I guess I am allowed to.

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