Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fake Girlfriend

I acted as a friend’s girlfriend during the weekend.

I went to a family gathering with him, it was some sort of a birthday party for one of the niece, who was nothing more than adorable.

At first, I really didn’t want to go. Me and (other’s) family gatherings just don’t mix. But after days of persuasion from him, let us just call him as Fahrin*, I relented and said yes. The main reason was that he doesn’t want all the womenfolk in his family to ask him a lot of questions.

I have known Fahrin for about 2 years and were introduced through a friend.

Pulling up into a driveway full of Beemers, Mercedeses and other imported cars intimidated me. Curious eyes were checking us out, eager to know ‘Pompuan mana pulak si Fahrin bawak balik ni.’

“Do you do this often?” I asked him as I took off the seatbelt.

“Nope. Actually… come to think of it, you are the first one.”

“Erk… Fahrin you are nice and all but you know that this is just acting –acting right?”

He nodded and told me not to worry.

We greeted everyone once we went into the house. It was one of those moments in life that happens sometimes when you were a bit lost, in a matter of 5 minutes, and confused for the next 10 mins.

Let me give you a tip that was given to me by my girlfriends who have gone though this whole ‘Meet the parents’ thingie (I know this is just play pretend, but we are moving on with the program here-la), always, always look for the mother first.

So Fahrin brought me to the kitchen, where my level of nerves shot up to about 50% percent from what it was when I was in the living room.

Mothers just have this thing, this look, or maybe just… yeah… this ‘thing’ about them that is not quite explainable. They make you feel small and just scare the wits out of you. Even when you know that this is not real.

The first thing that all Johoreans, in general, will ask once they are introduced to each other is :

“Orang mana?”

To which I promptly answered with “Orang sini.”

This will usually be followed with another so Johorean (Or maybe it’s just plain Malaysian.) question.

“Dah makan ke belum?”

To which both I and Fahrin shook our heads to.

“We’ll start in about 10 minutes. Fahrin, bring Sarc out to the living room la.”

Tip no 2; ALWAYS offer help even though you pretty much suck at everything that has the ‘kitchen’ connotation inscribed all over it. And even though the host would insist on you to go outside and not to bother, ALWAYS offer again, and this time grab hold of anything that needs to be brought outside.

True enough, Sarc became the centre of attention in the living room, after I was introduced to Fahrin’s father, I was swarmed by his little nieces and nephews. Yeah la, being the kid magnet and all.

I was pretty at home with the family. I guess having a big extended family of my own has its’ benefits. The siblings were nice and so were the Aunties. One of his cousins asked me whether I am going to get married with Fahrin soon to which I answered with a sheepish smile.

Tip No 3; get used to people telling your boyfriend, (Or in this case, pretend ones) “whaaa… pandai ko carik…” and all the whispers going around behind your back, as it would be too darn obvious to ignore.

We spent almost 2 hours with his family. And everything went, well… I didn’t break any of the expensive china, didn’t rub anyone inappropriately, didn’t scare any kids (as a matter of fact, one 2 year old was so eager to climb all over me that the father had to remove him from me.)

And the mother actually did the whole ‘Cium & Peluk’ thingie when I was leaving, dutifully reminding Fahrin to ‘Bawak anak orang balik baik – baik.’

“They like you. My sisters and my Mum.”

“I have that effect. Or maybe just because Farisya* also likes photography. I talked to her a lot about that.”

I wonder how it would be like though if I am to mee my real future in-laws. Could I keep my cool then?

Then again, would I ever? Hehehe…

*Bukan Nama Sebenar.


  1. wah, good practice session!. I dulu masa 1st time jumpa my inlaws, pakai main redah je, nasib ok. I've heard some horror stories from others tho' abt their 1st meet with their future in laws :D
    so for you, sure kacang putih nanti kan kan kan ..heheh

  2. this fahrin sound like a nice chap... and anyways, u've already met the his family.


  3. I have only once before allowed myself to be someone's pretend boyfriend to help the lady extinguish a guy's interest in her (whom she doesn't fancy, of course). It was for a meal outing & I didn't even have to utter the phrase 'she's my girl.'

    However, I declined a similar situation like yours, Sarcy to be a pretend boyfriend to a good friend attending an extended family gathering (this was to stem their continuous queries to her on 'bila nak cari hubby'). It's dangerous (to me) especially with orang Melayu since the makciks may just be overzealous & do background checks (find out any family ties or even mutually known acquaintances) or worse still, start planning for the supposed 'big day.' It would've been a case of out of the frying pan, into the fire. Further, my then girlfriend would blow her top (believe any girlfriend would).

    Anyhow, am glad the session turned out well for you & you were prepared going to meet your pretend boyfriend's parents. If I may add, meeting your real potential future parents-in-law, the experience can be more nerve wrecking. As DB said, a good practice session for thee.

  4. Hehe, practise makes perfect. I pun pernah sekali sekala jadik boyfren kepada beberapa girlfriends. Bliss and pride, even for a short moment, being the protector for a lady in distress... holding hands and loving smiles *

    Then, as instantly as it started, it adjourned. Good or bad? Heck, I'm still confused.

  5. Fahrin.

    Bukan Fahrin thata actor kan? If yes, he's my friend. Hehe

  6. i met the parents of my ex-bf and they so liked me and then when i broke up with him - all hell broke loose! the mum was freaking out and so did the daddy. i did for once thought that i was gonna stay just in the relationship for their sakes, but luckily i wasn't that dumb. (ok, this is not so relevant to your posting but what the heck!) Good job sarc!

  7. good practice..pandai u bawak diri.;)

  8. Haaaa... faking-faking la. Melekat betul baru tau. Hey, if Fahrin (bukan nama sebenar) is nice, why not... kan? kan? kan?

  9. MsD,

    at first i was freaking out la. i mean, imagine the parents are like some big hotshot, the house is full of those carved furnitures, the ones my family would not even consider buying. cabinets full of china and stuff.. akak soooo intimidatedf okeh? (Have a problem with meeting / dating people one level higher...dont ask me why.)

    they asked me what do i do, and i sheepishly said 'kuli je'. the thing with his family is that there was no air about them whatsoever. i have met up with a few friends' family who have had 'SNOB' written all over their faces. and when we salam with them, they salam the ngada-ngada salam (u know, the touch the palm and pull away thingie)

    aku rasa cam nak cokik-cokik soghang2.

  10. 9,

    and... that means what???? :P


    ure right, any girlfriends would freak out. but if you already have a girlfriend and you still continue being an escort to makciks distressed damsel, thats just not right la dood. make sure you are like single mingle can la.

    makciks do investigations? influenced by too much CSI i am sure.

  11. Agus,

    i had that kind of thing before. pretend2 jadik girlfriend sekali melekat, bleh tahan setahun lagi eh?

    but you know what, we broke up because we thought we were going too fast. and no la, i didnt meet up wuth his family la kan... :P

    it'll be good if it feels right.

  12. Sheryl,

    Fahrin tu actor yang mana tuh nok? akak katak bawah tempurung.

    all jazzed up,

    waaaaa... they must have REALLY liked you!!


    i pandai bawak segala. bawak keta, bawak basikal, bawak kuih, dan bawak duit...

  13. DNAS,

    ish... tak le.... me and Fahrin (Bukan nama sebeno) is waaay too similar to each other. we are like peas in apod.. he could be the male version of me. what they say eh, too same also kenot waaann

  14. It could be a sign, you know ;-)

    P.S.: Word veri: aytlurv. It's definitely a sign! *LOL!*

  15. sedapnyer nama Fahrin tu walaupon bukan nama sebenar, yeker ni bukan nama sebenar?:P

  16. boifren jadian u tu hensem tak? nk kenal bleh? (u dah booking ke? :P)

  17. pUGS...

    eerk.. i am a power crazy woman.. not done climbing the shaky tangga keparat eh.. korporat yet. and me & Fahrin.. *Shakes head* nope...


    Iyerkk.. bukan nama sebenooooo.

    Kak iNtan,

    macam rumah and keta la pulak eh? boifren jadian hensem i ada ala2 omputeh skit because the grandfather orang puteh!! lopeh tuh dia tinggi... tapi ngada2 keparat bebeno.. nak kenal??? bleh... tapi i kena tanya dia dulu la

  18. such chemistry with the family... apa lagi, on je la... hehe..

  19. Kalau jumpa betul2 ketar kepala lutut ni dik oiii! Hehehe...takper..practice makes perfect kan? :)

  20. wahaha.. i also thought my future mother in law liked me. and then...

  21. Des,

    saya bukan budak science stream..


    so i was told... hmmm.. wish we could skip the whole thing eh?


    and then what dear???

  22. caya la. kalau i mesti dah blush gila2 although i'm so dark no one can tell. but man! i need to practise also la. any other friends of urs need the service?