Fake Girlfriend

I acted as a friend’s girlfriend during the weekend.

I went to a family gathering with him, it was some sort of a birthday party for one of the niece, who was nothing more than adorable.

At first, I really didn’t want to go. Me and (other’s) family gatherings just don’t mix. But after days of persuasion from him, let us just call him as Fahrin*, I relented and said yes. The main reason was that he doesn’t want all the womenfolk in his family to ask him a lot of questions.

I have known Fahrin for about 2 years and were introduced through a friend.

Pulling up into a driveway full of Beemers, Mercedeses and other imported cars intimidated me. Curious eyes were checking us out, eager to know ‘Pompuan mana pulak si Fahrin bawak balik ni.’

“Do you do this often?” I asked him as I took off the seatbelt.

“Nope. Actually… come to think of it, you are the first one.”

“Erk… Fahrin you are nice and all but you know that this is just acting –acting right?”

He nodded and told me not to worry.

We greeted everyone once we went into the house. It was one of those moments in life that happens sometimes when you were a bit lost, in a matter of 5 minutes, and confused for the next 10 mins.

Let me give you a tip that was given to me by my girlfriends who have gone though this whole ‘Meet the parents’ thingie (I know this is just play pretend, but we are moving on with the program here-la), always, always look for the mother first.

So Fahrin brought me to the kitchen, where my level of nerves shot up to about 50% percent from what it was when I was in the living room.

Mothers just have this thing, this look, or maybe just… yeah… this ‘thing’ about them that is not quite explainable. They make you feel small and just scare the wits out of you. Even when you know that this is not real.

The first thing that all Johoreans, in general, will ask once they are introduced to each other is :

“Orang mana?”

To which I promptly answered with “Orang sini.”

This will usually be followed with another so Johorean (Or maybe it’s just plain Malaysian.) question.

“Dah makan ke belum?”

To which both I and Fahrin shook our heads to.

“We’ll start in about 10 minutes. Fahrin, bring Sarc out to the living room la.”

Tip no 2; ALWAYS offer help even though you pretty much suck at everything that has the ‘kitchen’ connotation inscribed all over it. And even though the host would insist on you to go outside and not to bother, ALWAYS offer again, and this time grab hold of anything that needs to be brought outside.

True enough, Sarc became the centre of attention in the living room, after I was introduced to Fahrin’s father, I was swarmed by his little nieces and nephews. Yeah la, being the kid magnet and all.

I was pretty at home with the family. I guess having a big extended family of my own has its’ benefits. The siblings were nice and so were the Aunties. One of his cousins asked me whether I am going to get married with Fahrin soon to which I answered with a sheepish smile.

Tip No 3; get used to people telling your boyfriend, (Or in this case, pretend ones) “whaaa… pandai ko carik…” and all the whispers going around behind your back, as it would be too darn obvious to ignore.

We spent almost 2 hours with his family. And everything went, well… I didn’t break any of the expensive china, didn’t rub anyone inappropriately, didn’t scare any kids (as a matter of fact, one 2 year old was so eager to climb all over me that the father had to remove him from me.)

And the mother actually did the whole ‘Cium & Peluk’ thingie when I was leaving, dutifully reminding Fahrin to ‘Bawak anak orang balik baik – baik.’

“They like you. My sisters and my Mum.”

“I have that effect. Or maybe just because Farisya* also likes photography. I talked to her a lot about that.”

I wonder how it would be like though if I am to mee my real future in-laws. Could I keep my cool then?

Then again, would I ever? Hehehe…

*Bukan Nama Sebenar.