Monday, December 31, 2007

Of Busybodies, KL, good friends and resolutions...

To everyone who knows, I was in KL for the weekend. To everyone whom I do not know (Personally…) but sibuk-sibuk nak tau, I was in KL, not as if it’s such a big deal.

I got to know about some bloggers’ tendency to be overly critical about everyone, even those they do not know in person. In this case, I was told by another blogger that I another blogger thought that I whined a lot. For frikkin' sakes, I didn't even know that he/she exists! I have to admit, these species fascinated me in a disgusting way. How do you define people who do not have a life and whose thrills evolves around somebody else's blog alter ego? Heck, we could always look to these people for an idea of a suitable definition.

So what if I know a certain anak si pulan? Does it change the way the whole universe works? Does it reverse the big bang? No right? And plus, the saddest thing was that these people seemed to get a kick of asking another blogger about other bloggers whom they thought they are directly affiliated with.

By the by, I am fearlessly defensive of my good friends. you mess with them, you mess with me. I seriously do think that these people need to get their own life and stop being so interested in other people's, for once.

--




On a lighter note;

1) Just how many flyovers do KL-lites need?
Lots.

My second drive into KL was tougher than the first one. I actually drove to KL for a certain work related matter last two months. That was easier because it was straight to Jalan Imbi.

This trip however, I drove to Bangi and had to figure out how to get to Mutiara Damansara from there. Thanks to a good friend, I eventually got my ass to The Curve, not before taking a wrong turn into Damansara Uptown and after that, into OU.

I was bloody helling all the time. But it was thoroughly educational. Not that I am looking forward to getting lost again. MRRs and SMARTS? I will never know how many ‘alternative routes’ are there to so many areas. I only had to deal with two things in JB, small roads and main roads.

I guess you will have to get lost first before you can drive around frikkin’ KL right? And I actually guided someone who is a KL - lite to Mutiara Damansara. Maybe I am pretty good at this whole navigation thingie, just don’t leave me without a phone and a friend who knows how to give directions.

D, thanks a bundle dude!

KL was so refreshing. Meeting my good friend, Sheryl was even more refreshing. I have not been catching up with her for a few months, and since I am often in KL for a limited time only (Macam free gift yang comes with Colgate la plak.) she has always made sure that we spent at least sometime together.

Thanks Darl!

And as for the people to whom I called or SMS, well, I didn’t get to see you guys ‘kerana kesuntukan masa’ but I would if I did have time.

2) How much do you have to pay for 4 wrong turns in KL and two right ones?
Apparently, 30 bucks.




Me and Sheryl @ a Mamak

--
I celebrated the arrival of 2008… with hope.

I was feeling kind of happy, at the time, although I had to rush from home straight after driving back from KL. Picked Kak Neesa and her sister and drove to my ex work place for the celebration.

I had two other NYE invitations, one from Annabella which was an all girl do and one from C who was bringing the house down with the boys. I chose Kak Neesa because she called me first.

I am just happy to still be alive and to have the opportunity to live it up. I am grateful for all the good friends that i have had the good luck of knowing.

My resolution? Only one… and that is to Stay Happy.

Happy New Year Ya’ll. Have a Blessed 2008!

Me and my Partner(s) in Crime

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Gimme a second...

‘Have a nice life.’

That was the final SMS, I am more disappointed more than I am sad.

It’s okay… I gather.

Here’s to a nicer life.
--

We had our sales convention and annual dinner in Malacca. I love that dress don’t you?

And I did manage to enjoy myself although my brain was a mess. You know how some people are allergic to milk and others to alcohol? I am allergic to men I figured. Anybody want to be my lesbo partner? And I actually called Aish (my lesbo drink partner) to confide in her. She is with the most gorgeous English woman I have ever met. Aish was considering migrating to the UK to be with her.

Aish, told me this;

“Never hope, but KNOW that somehow your life will work out, irregardless of circumstances.”

Makes sense I thought.

Anyway, here are the rest of the pictures. Not many but still...




Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I am Woman... hear me whine...

I am guilty of not being much of a blogger for the past week.

I am still waiting for the phone line to be installed. Actually went back to Telekom again to check on the status. You know how it is with their customer service right? Together with Maybank’s hopeless CS division, they could share the award for the worst Customer Support team in the world.

Let me see, my week long leave was boring, last weekend was okay as we had the sales convention and all (And I get to meet with The Acquaintance) and for this week, I got myself a pair of low waist jeans at a steal of a price from Dorothy Perkins, the only place that makes my size and I am looking forward for the weekend because I will be in KL yo! Fer real yo!

The most important thing is that I am officially detached from the one person who kept on hurting and hurting me over and over again. I am totally single and though the thought kept on popping up in my head, you know what? There will always be things that you could not get because you don’t deserve it.

In this case, I don’t deserve such bad treatment from this person. So I walk. Fair enough I gather.

Yes, this experience makes me more bitter than what I used to be, but it’s an experience that will hopefully help me in fending off bastards in the future.

There are a lot of bastards out there. it’s just hard to pick then out from the crop.

I am not used to getting what I want, personal life wise… and that’s okay. I know a few women who are going through what I am struggling with right now, and we are always telling ourselves that we will bounce back from this.

Fahrin stood by me like a big brother I never had. The Acquaintance listened to my pathetic melodramatic phonecalls and everyone else in the circle simply tried to lift me up.

The only consolation we have is in our work. Work is predictable and it is something that you can control. Relationships are, by our standard, still is rocket science, and launching satellites hold no significance whatsoever in my life goals.

So here’s to a bastard free 2008!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Resolution? This is one you dumbass!

If you don’t want a certain person in your life, say so.

If you never genuinely wanted to even be with someone even if it’s for the weekend, say so.

If that person knows for sure that she or he doesn’t mean anything more than a mere fuck to you, there is absolutely no harm in being honest.

THAT’S A FACT!

Hell no I am ever going to do this for anybody anymore. Okay then, I am only going to use you for money… that is exactly what you want me to take you as anyway.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Sekitar Perkahwinan Sepupuku sebilik mandi

As promised... Here are the pics...

The Night before Nikah;


I tried many shots with the 'Pelamin' (Diaz), turned out that this shot looks nice. I personally love the lightings. It goes with the Gold theme we were going for. Took shots also of the 'Hantaran' on the orange gold bed sheets that was inherited for like years now. (Posibbly older than moi!). it turned out alright though you reckon?

Took time out to take pictures of Yasmin, our youngest cousin. She loves being photographed. This pose of hers came out of nowhere.
The 'Berinai' ceremony was done in a small scale, in a small room, by people who are shorter than me Ie - small -er. Hahahaha....

Day after - The Akad nikah

One word, chaotic. I took half day off and rushed to my Grandparents'. These pictures were taken moments before the Akad was said. I was at that moment standing in a tight spot taking care not to rub anyone the wrong way by being the only female so called 'photographer'.

New member of the family, my cousin's husband, biting the dust.

The Hantaran from the husband's side.


Me in pink baju kurung, living up to my name (Hahahaha!) and me with my cousin. I changed because the weather was hot and I had to run there and here outside. My grandma said I look like 'Amoi Cina Sesat'.

Took time out again to take picture of Yasmin.

The night after the akad nikah - Bersanding.

We follow through with the tradition. That night, we go with the bersanding ceremony. I don't really know the flow of things and but I agreed with it because it will be hot and sweaty if we are to do the 'merenjis-renjis' thingy in the afternoon. Here my Grandpa kickstart the ceremony, followed by a host of other seniors in the family.


Remember the zapin dude I was talking about in my previous post? Here they are, they were really good and we enjoyed the whole performance. What's more, there was a live Ghazal band to accompany the dance.

We even had a 'Joget lambak'... and my Aunts join in. My zapin is a bit rusty so I took pictures instead.

The Wedding - And the Chaos begun...

There was a Khatam Quran in the morning, which I didn't attend (I was on my feet from 8 pm to about 2 am, I couldn't wake up!)

Bunga Telur in a basket... I was the 'egg girl' for a while.

The 'Flower Girl' who fell asleep when the groom arrived.

The groom arriving rolling in whit his entourage.

Anna and the 'pantin'.

The week after - Groom's reception

The theme for the bride side was pink. I was in a pinkish purplish kebaya nyonya and everyone else was in pink stuff.

Organizing the procession into the groom's house.

I am not kidding about the pink part. Barbie would have envied us for real!

Ah heck... I decided to be in front of the camera at the end of the day. It was tiring, but not as tiring as the reception on the bride's side. My God I looked fat in this picture... 3 kGS lost don't show here at all!!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Tagged!

Foreword; Akak hates working with racists. This is my first time working with such a management.

The thing is, the person in question I.e. my boss is not even capable of doing her job, so much so that we have zero respect for her. Plus, it is so fuckin’ obvious that it is all in the color of the skin.

If like that, how?

Anna reminded me to never quit a job without another job in hand. I will not do so, but I do want to leave as soon as possible, to avoid further humiliations, just because I don’t look yellow and just because I refused to suck up to an anti-social.

Anyway… I am scouting around for a job now. If nak tolong sila.

BTW, I have been tagged by DNAS, and since I am in no mood to work for a racist, here it is!
--
1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
*Fahrin. He was groped by a guy at our friendly neighborhood pub while hanging out with his friends. Got so grossed out that he asked me to grope him to up his ‘saham’ value.


2. What were you doing at 0800?
Driving on the highway to work with India Arie blasting on the car stereo.


3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Called customers on failed deliveries and discussing with my boss on my leave clearance (Balance 12 hari tuh!!!).


4. What happened to you in 2006?
Had two break ups, one emo breakdown, and things only my closest friends know about. It was a bad year for me.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
Who attended to this prospect? To my colleagues.


6. How many beverages did you have today?
As of 11.19 am, one mug of coffee.


7. What color is your hairbrush?
Black and blue.


8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Lunch RM 4.50.


9. Where were you last night?
Drinking session with friends at TGIF.


10. What color is your front door?
For now, an ugly light blue, which will be changed to a delicious warm brown.


11. Where do you keep your change?
Purse, car, and office drawer.


12. What’s the weather like today?
Cloudy, hujan lebat gila.


13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Cherry Garcia from Ben & Jerry’s, Baskin Robbin’s peanut butter and chocolate and Haagen Dazs’ Chocolate & Rum.14. What excites you?Money.


15. Do you want to cut your hair?
No, want to keep it long.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Yes.


17. Do you talk a lot?
Depending on the mood and the person. I don’t talk much if I don’t like that person.


18. Do you watch the O.C.?
Stick thin Mischa Barton and boring looking American teenagers? Noooo.


19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Steven Foh, one of our managers whose elaboration on cases are just idiotic!!


20. Do you make up your own words?
More like my own terms…my term for sex is now QC.

21. Are you a jealous person?
Rarely.


22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Anna.


23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Kai Ling.


24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
Anna.


25. What does the last text message you received say?
’Paint?’ still not sure if he really meant ‘pain’.


26. Do you chew on your straw?
Nope.


27. Do you have curly hair?
Not on my head but yes down there…


28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Tea, with a friend at OldTown Coffee near my house


29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Till now, no one I know, but I do know for a fact that most of the Singaporeans I dealt with (Over business) are rude.


30. What was the last thing you ate?
Rice, chicken, cabbage and tofu.


31. Will you get married in the future?
Yes. Don’t know when and with whom.


32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
On HBO, ‘Something New’ about interracial love.


33. Is there anyone you like right now?
The dude who turns me on because he knows Zapin *Fahrin and possibly The Acquaintance.


34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Tuesday Evening. Yesterday I skipped dinner.


35. Are you currently depressed?More to frustrated and angry, ekchelly (Read above).


36. Did you cry today?
No.

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because I don’t feel like working for a racist.


38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.

- Sheryl
- Juan
- Des
- Izham
- Minah Sepet Aka Ms. D

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Post Wedding, Post moving and a few curse words later...

Was away for the whole weekend.

My cousin’s wedding was horrifically interesting. Which further convinced me that what I want for MY own wedding (when it happens just don’t ask me when and with who), is none of those things.

No thanks Dad, but I don’t want to have pre-wedding kenduris, khatam Qurans and a band that has a dude who sings through his nose.

I will settle for the Ghazal and Zapin, we had a lot of fun with the Zapin.

Have to admit, (guy) Zapin turns me on… ihik… if a cute guy dances Zapin, he will be even more cuter. If a good looking dude do Zapin, he might have looked like Taye Diggs by my standards la kan. I found out that *Fahrin, the dude who was brought up in UK for the first 18 years of his life knows how to Zapin! I didn’t invite him to the wedding, as it was my cousin’s and I do not want to set tongues wagging. Never mind that I got so interested when he told me that he and his cousins know how to silat as well.

I was soooo turned on by that piece of info. A guy who speaks flawless English who knows how to Zapin and Silat???? He seriously starts to sound like the love of my life yang tak jadi itew.

So by now, you should have known that Sarcy’s type is a man who speaks English, who knows his roots, easy on the eyes, who knows exactly what he wants in life and how to get it, who gets along well with my parents, siblings, grandparents, aunties and uncles. Who would volunteer to be ‘tukang cuci pinggan dan mangkuk’ during any kenduri – kendara my family / extended family would be having and most importantly, who could handle my weird quirks and habits and my perfectionist syndrome but will still totally love me.

So I am not to be blamed (Completely) if I actually asked him to come away with me for a whole weekend and include him in my Bangkok trip due next year. He found my weak spot, Akak surrender!

Oh… totally unrelated but I saw Kevin Zahri for the first frikkin’ time… I think he is a looker but a bit poyo in every sense of the word.

*Which is still still not nama sebenar.

P/S – pictures Will be posted as soon as I have the time to upload it to the laptop!
--
House moving is tiring, and when it involves what seemed like the whole extended family, it gets even more tiring.

To add to the whole drama, the movers (unprofessional ones) scratched our telly cabinet, broke the base of the piano, and threw away my book rack which I picked up from the garbage spot in front of our old house yesterday!!

Of course, being that the dudes were my Dad’s friends from work gave us no room to complain more. I being the control freak did not stop nagging for what may have been for the last 48 odd hours and my room is still a bleeding mess, except for my bed which could now be featured in an IKEA catalogue (The unloaded boxes around the room, notwithstanding).

I got to know that I won’t be having any internet for the next 2 weeks, phone line would only be installed within next week and that I have some furniture DIYs to do in the next 48 hours, starting with my parents bed frames. I can’t rely on anyone else who couldn’t differentiate between a screw to a nut!

So you tell me now… stress tak stress?

So if you are in JB and you happen to bump into a lady sipping glasses of iced mocha, sitting cross legged at a corner in City Square’s Starbucks with a laptop and an invisible ‘I am fuckin’ pissed’ sign on her forehead for the next two weeks. That could be me. Please do approach with care.

**and yes, I am writing this entry in the office in less than 10 minutes. I happened to be a fast typer (is there even such a word?).

Monday, November 26, 2007

Abang dilemma and Sonyku sayang....

I only use the word ‘Abang’ on two occasions.

First, if I am ever pulled over by the MIUs for speeding or any other varied offenses. Second would be at stalls or roadside stalls where if you don’t call the menfolk there ‘Abang’, you will be ignored.

If you expect to hook up with me and to have me call you Abang, let me lay it out on the table and be frank. The possibility of me calling you ‘Abang’ would be an absolute resolute 0.

Let me just put it this way, growing up with looking at what my parents have as somewhat an inspiration for an ideal relationship, calling my other supposedly better half ‘Abang’ is never going to happen, simply because, my mother never called my father ‘Abang’.

And my mother is the only one in the whole entire extended family of several other Aunties on my father’s side who doesn't call her husband ‘Abang’.

My mother calls my father, ‘Yang’, short for ‘sayang’. And that, compared to the uber used ‘Abang’ is much more acceptable by my standards.

You see, to me, calling someone Abang would be almost weird. For one, literally translated, ‘Abang’ means ‘brother’ and it is meant to be used only when you indeed have a relationship, to be more accurate, a genetic relationship with the respective ‘Abang’ mentioned.

That just doesn’t sound affectionate to me.

Does it to you?

I mean, I could be wrong. Afterall, what I thought of the whole thing could spark off a debate accusing me of not remembering what I really am (A half malay and all that jazz).

But really… like can’t we Malays (Or half Malays for that matter) come up with something more creative than ‘Abang’?

Think about it.

--

I bought my first Sony Ericsson last weekend, which was also my first clamshell phone. Okeh… so I used a Sony Ericsson before, for about two and a half weeks before I switched to using the 02 pda.

Now akak can ‘kelepak kelepuk’ like everyone in my circle who uses clamshells.

One of my besties also bought a Sony, Fahrin (definitely not nama sebenar) bought the latest thin Sony model and it seemed a few of my other friends after seeing us using Sony (all are ‘staunch’ Nokia users) are actually considering buying one as well.

That said,,. Sony Ericsson rawks occay? Hihi…

P/S- I have been really busy lately, and I don’t know why, aside from the house moving end of this month just one day after my cousin’s wedding, in which I would be the official ‘Anak Dagho bawak dulang hantaran’ , I still think it’s hard to believe that I am actually ‘busy’ like to the max.

And I am not even doing event management!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Of being a single who dates

I am giving myself a chance by giving other people a chance to get close to me.

That said, I am beginning to make some effort in probably initiating a ‘something something’ rather with an acquaintance (Let me just put him down as The Acquaintance) I was introduced to a few months earlier. We found out that we really did enjoy each other’s company, although everything is still pretty much vague.

Plus he is in KL.

So the occasional phone calls are a norm now. We even confided in each other on certain issues and make plans for our next rendezvous. I promised The Acquaintance that I would go up to KL one of these days, if I finally could get away from my hectic life at the moment.

Of course, with a cousin’s wedding on the 1st, house moving on the 3rd and annual company convention on the 21st – 23rd, December looks bleak.

My mother happened to be hovering around when I received a phone call from The Acquaintance one night. She asked me, rather suspiciously, who was it who called, to which I replied a friend.

“To you everyone is a friend. Even if that person did like you more than a friend.” She said.

“Tak salah wot. I didn’t ask them to like me like that.”

I even introduced Anna to the The Acquaintance. We went for a movie and since he was in town, I thought why not. Anna gave the thumbs up.

But hold it now, there will be no direct indication whatsoever of us being an item (Why do we use that word anyway?). After all, we don’t believe in long distance relationship / romance or anything like that. No harm in knowing someone who would first and foremostly be a friend more than anything else.

We just enjoy each other’s company, that is it.

Meanwhile, I have my eyes on the ‘Movies under the Stars’ event happening in December. I might be getting the tics, and I have a good idea on who to bring. A late night picnic sounds good eh? Been some time since I planned out a date anyway… you reckon?

Monday, November 19, 2007

Pub talk

I went drinking with Anna and two of her friends last weekend, and the topic of conversation came to women and their, emotional hang ups if could put it as that.

S launched a lengthy explanation on why women have this tendency to expect men to read their mind. I told him that men are just clueless and that we women could not really blame them for being that. I for one, never even wanted men to read my mind. To me that’s just freaky. Whoever have tried failed miserably, for both the women expecting the dudes to know exactly what was on their mind or the dudes trying to make out what was on the women’s head.

And on relationships, S (obviously by now, you would have make out that S is a man) said that a woman is always afraid of the guy leaving her that she will withstand every bullshit that the guy brings.

Anna on the other hand said;

“No. Sarcy is not like that. She doesn’t like you, she leaves you.”

Actually, both I and Anna are similar, as in the way we handle these ‘men issues’. Sure we do feel like crying at times but when things are not going our way and when it has become so obvious that whatever we had with a guy is not going to be anything more than a sex frenzy, we pumped the brakes and get out of it.

No point hanging on to someone who doesn’t feel the same. Besides, we are doing fine on our own. We have freedom and we could focus on everything else.

People tend to think that I am married because I always had on this diamond ring which was a treat I decided to get for myself after a year of hard work. Some of the friends I have thought why buy jewelry for yourself when you can get somebody else to buy it for you.

It’s unfortunate I guess but I don’t think like that. I would be psyched if someone really did get me something but I want it to come from the heart. (I am all corny and shit like that-la)

The point of the matter is, while I do kind of (trying to) believe in this whole prospect of love, I also believe that a woman doesn’t need a man to complete her. We need a man to love us just the way we are, because on our own, we are complete. (Damn… this is one corny shit of a line! But true wot!)

*Sigh… the things you talk about on a Saturday night at your friendly neighbourhood (though it was not MY neighbourhood) pub.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Friday Jubilation...

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

Okay, firstly, I forgot my PDA today, so I am in a state of shock and confusion. Second, I went to sleep 10 minutes to 1 am, scrambled up at about 0715 hrs, swearing, repetitively saying that I am totally late. Thirdly, when I was driving, a stupid Kembara overtook me in a most idiotic way, being that, I frikkin’ tailgated the guy until the ‘Simpang’ to the airport. And then I got to know that I have to train two reps today, despite also having to follow up on a gazillion more things.

And we are shorthanded somemore.

But, it is a happy Friday for me because you know what?

Akak lost 3 KGs last week alone… woohoo… gumbira rasa di hati.

How?

I didn’t take dinner if I take breakfast and lunch. Owh, and do not forget the bleeding hard ab crunches aaand the tasteless protein drink I take every night… aaaaaaaaand the frikkin yucky fibre drink.

Now I only have to think about tomorrow’s persiapan pengantin (my cousin-la) and Sunday’s moving all small and movable by car items to t he new house.

Schedule’s filled up people!

Have a great weekend!!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Deepa surprise

Phil, an ex fling of mine called on Deepavali, which kind of cracks me up.

We have not been in contact for a few months. I have been preoccupied with my soul searching and what nots.

Of all days, he had to call me on Deepavali, which was my pig out day. I spent the whole entire morning watching DVDs and the whole entire afternoon spring cleaning, more like packing as we will be moving houses end of this month. The evening was spent surfing the net and downloading por… I mean… stuff.

“You didn’t call me on Raya, what gives?”

“I did. Did you get a weird missed call number on your phone?”

“Yeahh…”

“Yeah… that was me. I was in Dubai.”

“Owh… you should’ve just called me again.”

“Nahh. It’s your family time. I shouldn’t. How was it?”

*Yak yak… too much food… tired… no money… broke… tired…*

“It sounds great. Wish I could be there.”

It was at that moment of time I thought, everything happens for a reason, and there must be one hell of a good reason for me to pull myself away from Phil once upon a time ago.

I forgot.

I have no exes in the past who would tell me that they wished they could be with me. My ExBF was someone who would rather stay at home watching DVDs of TV series in his ‘cave’, TheDude has his own family to think of and he would never actually say he wished he was there with me anywhere. This goes to everybody else that I have dated, with the exception of Trey of course, the true love of my life that I couldn’t be with.

And then, the only other dude who said so, was Phil, of all people.

And that was weird. I started to have that tingly almost painful feeling all over my spine. Did I miss out on something? Have I turned a blind eye on something that could have been the greatest thing I could have ever done?

Well I could have, and there is no more looking back now. I let him go, and so he went. I wished him well, and I meant it.

Now that must have happened for a reason. Just that I forgot the reason.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

There is a lot of things about sarcy

Overtime, I have met a lot of people. Some nice and some, not so nice.

Some are just nice at first, and then as time went by, you realized that they are not that nice. They talk behind your backs and say bad stuff about people.

So I stop talking to them.

My way of dropping so called friends are always like that, I stop talking to them.

There are occasions whereby I just don’t feel like talking, for a loooong time. This does not mean I am in the process of dropping people from my friends list, just that I don’t feel like talking. This could be due to some issues I am facing at the time, of which I could only share with close friends, read; ‘close’.

Recently, I did that. I stopped talking. I talked more on the phone with my close friends.

I am reconsidering my options, I am figuring out what to do next, I am trying to get a firm grip on my life that is slipping.

In the process, I was misunderstood by a few not so close friends. I took action in mending the slightly cracked relationship I have with these people.

But some, I just don’t have the power to fix anymore. To each his own, that is my motto. If it’s going to stay that way, then be it!

I do wonder if I did actually care, but then I thought, it must be that I couldn’t be bothered to.

And I have no frikkin’ idea why.

I am nice, though not like ‘nice’ nice. I pick my friends carefully and I judge people, heck I am no saint, though I try not to do so. Try is the keyword.

So, to all the not so close friends who misunderstood me, I apologize for my weird behavior. And to my close friends, all the power to you dudes. I love you guys for being there for me, through thick and thin. Susah tu nak dapat friends like you lot!

I guess I am blessed la. Muachh!

One of my closest friends, thing is (And many people find this odd) she was my ex boss, and I actually like working for her.

I am broke and I am woman enough to admit it!

This is my first post in Bahasa campuran.

I still don’t understand why do makwes or pakwes bagi pinjam duit beribu-ribu to their so called other half. What, the other half don’t have any other means ke in getting what they want aside from borrowing from the kononnya ‘love of your life’ (at the subjected period of time) ke? Kalau pinjam 50 ringgit ke or 20 ke untuk buat belanja makan di warung Fatimah tuh understood-la. But to fork out RM 18K for a frikkin’ car when it is not even confirmed that they are going to end up together? It is beyond me!

Another friend of mine decided to open up a joint account with her ex boy friend (Get this eh, not even engaged occay?) and the bastard found another more interesting meat and splurge the whole RM 20k on the other woman.

Menangis sungguh sebakla my friend tu. Kasihan dia!

As for myself, Akak tak mintak, even though I am starving at the end of the month pun, sanggup makan lunch nasi dengan kuah sahaja. But I have the luck of my so called ‘other half’ to give me money for no reason.

All of the sudden, Baby, here is RM 500 for your belanja this week. Even if I said no, my so called partners will still stuff the notes into my handbag. Awkward yes, but tak ke gumbira dapat duit sekelepuk like that. Terasa lah pulak loved kan? (Come on nooowww… everyone is materialistic kannn!!!!).

But joint accounts and mintak pinjam beribu-ribu (or even beratus-ratus) for anything? Nope, not my style, my ego won’t allow that.

Hey, if I could find someone with money and is able to give me money, fine, but not as if it is important. I could pay for myself. Even if I have to ikat perut for the whole bloody month just to clear the monthly variables.

Of course, I do have my own personal Ah – Long la, and this Ah – Long I could trust, and the Ah – Long trusts me too. So the feeling is mutual.

Moral of the story, Janganla sesekali meminjam dan meminjamkan uang kamu kepada mereka yang tak ada talian rasmi whatsoever.

Heh!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

A friend in need is a friend indeed...

Recently, over YM, I told Sheryl that I was having a small makan – makan raya gathering for my friends. I also told her that I don’t have lots of close friends in JB, no thanks to my 6 years or so in KL before this.

The thing with me and friends is that while I have a lot of people who said they know me, few of them could claim on being my friend. I have to admit, I pick my friends like I pick my fruits. And I am very particular about my fruits. I don’t want to eat any that will give me food poisoning the next day wot? I also have no qualms whatsoever about dropping those who I don’t think deserve my friendship, just like the way I dump ‘buah – buahan busuk’ into the dustbin.

I have a lot of experience with so called friends who were backstabbers in disguise. At the age of 28, I thought I have done well enough to avoid potential excremental holes. But I am only human, so I have been proved wrong time and time again.

I also learnt an important lesson. I know a certain guy who hurt me, twice but he will not abandon me as a friend, he will stick by my side through everything and he will not backstab me. I feel indebted to him, although sometimes he does gets in my nerves.

I don’t collect friends like I collect namecards. As a matter of fact, friends are more like going into a discount stores like Ban Thye and finding out that you could get a cardigan that looked like some designer label stuff at a much much (Try very much)lower price. Often, these things you get for less than RM 100 will be your most prized possession. And often, it’s very unexpected that you will get something decent from a store that is full of Nyonyas and Makciks who decided to browse around carrying plastics of fish and other wet market items.

The rule of thumb is that a friend must know how to appreciate you so much so that you will in turn appreciate them for being around. Not anyone who will turn their backs on you in times of adversity and then bitch behind your back to other people.

I have to admit, being that I am aloof in nature, I tend to miss birthdays, take my friends for granted and sometimes I would not call a few of them for ages. The thing is, I am getting so comfortable being on my own, that I forget my friends, my real friends, ones that would listen to my whining and stuff, and the ones whom I wouldn’t mind lending my shoulder to.

So the small makan-makan raya gathering was my way to make up for it. I sent invitations via email and SMS. It was just a simple do, quite impromptu and I have wanted to only include close friends, friends who know me. Most of them came from my ex workplace, my ex boss and one of my booze partner (The other one couldn’t make it) We got together, talked like old times, eat and be merry while watching The Ring Two on CINEMAX. My ex-boss was terrified and the kids, well, they were more fascinated, I thought than scared.

After this, will be the numerous open houses I have to attend. More food, more bloating and more mingling.

Who says keeping a friend or being a friend is easy now?

Monday, October 29, 2007

Mind Blocks

I can’t figure out a few things for the last few weeks.

Number 1; I don’t get what is so great about the first ‘Angkasawan to be in space’. So the dude got into a space suit, float around in a space shuttle and had ketupat rendang in space, someone please tell me what is so significant about that? The Chinese just launched a rocket on China’s soil on their own effort, now THAT is something to be proud of. They maybe learnt it from the Russians or even the Americans, but at least they launched their own space probe.

And we have to sit back, watch the government spend millions of OUR money not to get a piece of the technology but to send some guy to space. Recently, a certain satellite TV station even offered an autographed electric guitar signed by the two ‘Angkasawans’, knowing that they could not play a decent tune on it for squat. I mean, like showing off a guitar signed by George Benson is another thing altogether, but by some dude who went to the moon? Not as if they played the frikkin’ guitar in space!

I mean, How do you even supposed to awe people with it if you win it?

Dude 1: Yo. I won this guitar from this contest I joined. Like it is signed man.

Dude 2 : Cool. By who man? Richie Sambora, Marilyn Manson?

Dude 1 : Naw man! by the first Angkasawan man...

Dude 2 : ...

Dude 1 : Umm, you know I think the pick is made of of the Coke can they had in the frikkin shuttle dude...

Dude 2 : Like Whoa man!(On the pick that was believed to have made from a Coke can in space.)

Question to the executives over at the Satellite TV station, wouldn't a high powered telescope worth RM 10 000 as a price and a contest aired on Discovery Channel make more sense?

Number 2; I have been in the company that I am presently attached to for a year and a half, but I have yet to accustom myself to the whole company culture.

The thing about my previous high profiled job was that I worked with a bunch of people who, although complained about a lot of things, they just know how to have a good time. We were close knitted colleagues, who even went out during weekends, go to hang out at each other’s houses and cook good food (whenever we feel like it-la. On my side, it would usually be a treat at the Mamak shop having biryani on payday. Me cook? Maybe when I get married I’ll be like Cookie @ Juan and see the kitchen as my therapy chamber.)

I know everybody from the people in Administration, all the dudes in maintenance and even the hotel people, and when we get together, all hell broke loose. One thing about us PR people is that we can talk… and we WILL talk.

But here? I don’t know. It seemed that this job has totally put a damper on my communication skills. The people here are always so… formal. I wished Anna is still the manager, at least she knows how to be one. I actually took MCs eversince I joint this company. I am swallowing vitamin pills to keep myself healthy! I didn’t do that in the old company. The reason being that the adrenaline rush then keeps me going and I rarely get the sniffles.

And I honestly do not know why is it that I feel this way. I am pretty adaptable. I could adapt given any kind of situation or environment. I am a corporate chameleon, serious in meetings, get things done and when it’s time to let my hair down, I do.

But… Sigh.

I am right now, working hard to just focus on my work, deliver the best I could. This is only because I am very hopeful to go back to College for another degree, and this job is the kind where I don’t have to be on call on weekends.

Wish me luck eh?

Number 3; My Dad is against hanging decorative mirrors in the living room.

The thing is we are moving in a couple of months to a bigger house and I wanted to decorate it my way, which is okay by them except for the mirror part.

I have a bit of flair in decorating, so I know a beautiful mirror gives the oomph factor in a room.

But my Dad said no, not mirrors.

When asked why, he said that it was because when he was growing up, people in the ‘kampung’ rarely hang mirrors in the house. Apparently, the people back then believe that mirrors will crack and fall off the wall during a thunderstorm.

How it works is like this. Mirrors attract lightning and that’s why houses must never hang mirrors, lest they want it to be struck.

“Yeah… but most houses now do have lightning conductor cables I think, if technology hasn’t better that concept yet.”

It wasn’t me alone that gave him the ‘Duh’ look when he told us about the whole mirror – lightning factor. There was my sister and my brother.

“Final say, aye to mirrors.”

3 against two. Barely but we won.

“You guys better cover them mirrors with cloth everytime it rains.” He went.

Umm… okay then. Still not getting it.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

A minute to ponder…

Do you write for yourself or for others?

I write for myself, at least that is what I think. I don’t bother to pacify my readers and give them politically correct facts of life. I guess that would be the last thing the readers of this blog would expect from Sarcy.

Hate mails are a norm, rude comments, I delete them and they have no subsequent effect on me whatsofrikkinever.

Shit happens, and I am going to talk about it. Malays are pretentious, and I am not going to say otherwise, I am broke, heck, I know there’s no good in lying about that and I have a boring life, and that’s okay.

So as long as I could be true to myself and have no need in making other people happy through whatever crap I write here in this site (Plus the all time low number of hits (like I care.)), safe to say that I do write for myself.

Another thing is that I can’t possibly blame myself for being an exhibitionist wot?

Two of my favorite bloggers hung up their keyboards. It’s a shame really, as I have been an avid reader of theirs for the past couple of years. Now to find others who would be worthy of their spot.

MsJ and Pugs, uish… it’s a lost to not being able to read your ramblings anymore. But hey, here crossing my fingers that you will be back?

As for me, as long as I still think I am writing for myself, and not for others, I will be here.

--
A letter to the heartbroken…

Dear D,

I know it’s been hard, I know it’s been … what’s the word… rough.

I am not going to say that he doesn’t deserve you, because I am not so good in judging whether anyone is good or bad for other people.

I am not going to say that everything is going to be fine because the truth is sometime along the path of ‘recovery’ (I know, it’s that clich├ęd.) you are not going to be fine. You are going to fall into the deepest of depression and might even contemplate on taking up some job offers with no prospect of advancement or even a good pay roll to go with it. The temptation of giving up on life and to waste your time and your life with Alcohol and drugs would be so strong that you might even do it. I did it and it was not a good action plan.

However, I am going to say this.

LIFE MOVES ON.

And if it’s going to move, might as well make the best of it. Shit happens, lovers come and go. In the end, all you have is your pride, hurt but that’s not going to be for long.

Bear that in mind and you will be ok. I promise.

Last but not least;

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.’
(Albert Schweitzer – 1875 – 1965)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Raya post round two

Raya was the same like every other Raya.

There was the chaos on the eve of Raya. My mum was busy in the kitchen preparing the ingredients for the Laksa Johor we planned to make the next day, my sister was helping her out, my brother helped filling up cookies in the containers and I went around doing all kinds of things that men should be doing, like fixing the shoe rack, the Raya lights, the curtains, you name them, I did them.

And the other thing is that I am still single, and so I got myself ready with one liners that I could use on the aunties who would be asking me all kinds of ‘marriage related’ questions.

I did my last minute shopping, queuing up for parking space at the dreaded Angsana Plaza, fighting with fat aunties for the perfect tissue box cover.

And I found my second Raya outfit, after I was broken hearted because my first choice was snapped up. A white chiffon number, with gold flower prints.

Raya was the same like every other Raya.

Ketupat, rendang, perasak (For the uninitiated, it is glutinous rice filled with beans and what nots wrapped in daun palas and boiled. Something like lepat but savoury), sayur lodeh, kuah kacang, ayam kicap, serunding daging, lemang and laksa Johor was served on the table at my Atok’s house.


As usual, me and my siblings ask for forgiveness from our parents before driving off to my atok’s house that morning. Sarcy don’t have a kampong as in the true kampong sense. My kampong is in the middle of the town and took less than 10 minutes drive (With my Barrichello style of driving, might even be 5 minutes).


Stopped at a kiosk to fill up the tank before that. The worker, a Bangladeshi, wished me Selamat Hari Raya and strike a conversation while filling up. He was working full shift for that day and the day after.

“Saya dapat sembahyang Alhamdulillah. Kerja halal hari raya dapat duit cukup juga.”

Asked if he has already called home to wish everyone, he nodded and I saw a tinge of sadness in his eyes. To say that I understand was an understatement, because as much as I would claim that I did, I couldn’t really.

Anyway,

Strangely, my grandma cried when it was my turn to ‘salam’ her. Alahai, tak taulah apahal, dengan orang lain steady je, dengan den dah melimpah ruah la pulak. Empangan pocah, my atok said.

“Agaknya sebab nenek sedih ko tak kawin – kawin lagi tak? Boifren pun tak bawak balik umah lagi.” My cousin said.

Rasa like nak hempuk pon ado.

“Aku busy la. Takde masa nak layan jantan-jantan tak guna ni. Semua emo tak tentu hala, takdo kojo eh.”

‘kumpul harta’, that was what I told everyone who asked me the ‘soalan cepu emas tahap dewa’. I don’t need to be dependent on anyone to make my life works wot?

By 5 pm, I broke down. Enjin habis pelincir, and I slept in the living room with my Mom, bro and sister.

So much for ghayo sakan. Ponat sakan ado ah.

Raya was the same like every other Raya.

TV was chocful of melancholic and sad stuff. I have to admit, some of them are really good, some are just too obviously cashing in on Hari Raya. And what’s with the AF reunion bullshit thronging Astro? Like WTF? But I enjoyed watching some of the Malay movies on Astro Ria like Baik Punya Cilok, Gubra and Sepet. Mukhsin was disappointing. And the P. Ramlee daily dose. He still rawks.

Raya was the same like every other Raya.

Still OD-ing on Sirap, gassy drinks and kuih bangkit, here are some I took during Raya.

Me and my Siblings


My cousins with their duit raya



The only princess in the family



My brother and the Princess' brother Idir



The Heroes of the family


Second day of Raya at another relative's house. My Mum with one of my Dad's cousin's daughter

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Pretend Couple Trouble

For some reason, I have always wanted to blog about this for the last few days but I was like not inspired to.

Remember *Fahrin, (Still bukan nama sebenar) with whom I went out with to a family gathering of his before Ramadhan? He met up with me (With a purpose la) a couple of weeks ago. This time, he wants to drag me to a buka puasa thingie with the rest of his cousins from KL who was in JB during the weekend.

“Why me?” I asked.

“Because everyone was talking about you and me already.”

“See-la, I told you something like this would happen.” I said as I gave him a killer glare.

I said no to the invitation. This scam has to stop. He will have to go alone, which he did. He gave an excuse that I was unavailable.

As if it’s like some sort of a sick twist of fate, I bumped into his mother at the Ramadhan Bazaar in UDA. What else am I supposed to do but to smile and salam, cium & peluk.

“I have been asking Fahrin about you. Are you coming over for Buka puasa with us soon? Puasa is almost over.”

(*dalam hati, dammit Fahrin!)

“Fahrin did tell me about that. Just that I have been busy with family for the raya preparation. Keje pun banyak makcik.”

“Cuba la ye. Makcik masak lebih sikit ye? Okayla, I have to go first. Take care.”

Salam, cium & peluk again as usual.

Today is already the last day of Puasa, and I didn’t ‘Buka Puasa’ with Fahrin’s family. But I did call his mother yesterday, and apologized, profusely for my not being able to ‘make an appearance’.

“Nanti pagi raya A** hantar lauk ghaya ye Auntie? Kampung saya dekat je. Raya ni keluarga masak Laksa Johor je.”

“Ah boleh la tu. Auntie pun tak masak anything special. Ketupat, rendang dengan lauk raya biasa je. A** masak ke?”

“Hehe taklah. Saya tak pandai masak sangat.”

“Lama-lama pandai la nanti.”

Bla..bla..bla… the telephone call lasted about 10 minutes.

Now, I think I have made a BIG mistake of making her liking me more. Sarcy have the tendency to go on and on without thinking of the consequences of her action sometimes.

Help!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Raya post round one

Earlier tonight, I went to a mall in search for a set of Raya curtains for the house. A shirt caught my Dad’s eye and while waiting for the correct size, I stood at the men’s section trying to not yawn for the 100th time.

And then came this boy of about 4 years old. He was in his baju melayu, had a bit of chocolate stains on his cheeks and was bopping towards me. He stopped in front of me and looked up, and smiled.

And erk… I smiled back, I mean courtesy is not always between adults eh?

The boy then walked a few steps back and disappeared behind an offer bin, not until he dashed out again after a few seconds and hid back again.

By then, it became obvious that he wanted me to be his playmate.

I didn’t go to the extent of hiding behind an offer bin and dash out like him. I don’t want to scare some unsuspecting shopper and be escorted out of the premises, but I made little gestures of being surprised.

I enjoyed the game, he did too, until he was picked up by his Dad who profusely apologized for his son’s behavior. What if I told the parents that it was his genuine show of interest that made my whole day a lot more better?
--

Raya is a lot of work.

I realized that once I stopped being a student and started becoming an adult, with responsibilities and all that jazz.

Sometimes I really just don’t get it. Why couldn’t we just buy new drapes whenever we want to and not wait until a specific occasion? Or why couldn’t I just buy Baju Kurungs when they don’t mark up the price like crazy?

I and my family spent the whole weekend going out to malls getting last minute stuff. Table cloth, matching cushions for the Brown and Burgundy theme I have set up specifically for this year’s Eid, scarves for our outfits, expensive bamboo woven mats, etc.

The strangest thing is, I have yet to find my second Raya outfit but I have already bought my third Raya shoes.

Sometimes humans just behave in strange ways. It’s the same with any other celebrations. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s.

Why can’t we just do the things that we do on these days on every other day?

But, there is one thing that I am glad we only have to give out once in a year, and that is Raya money. With more than 20 little cousins waiting on tow with their smiley faces and big Raya packet pockets, we could not possibly do ‘that’ any other day without an occasion. Akak ‘po the kai’ nanti gitew.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Teng... Teng... Teng... another bunny boiler bites the dust

Foreword ; Akak Pro, and akak tak petty, and I think petty issues at work are so yesterday. So I deleted the previous whining post and decided to write better posts, lighthearted ones.

I do have class, mind you.

I had a conversation with one of my guy friends, Joe (Bukan Nama Sebenar) yesterday over the phone. He had recently turned single and is now enjoying his quiet time alone. His ex was one who could have hailed from hell, if it’s not for the fact that she wore a tudung and looked like a full fledged human being.

When they were together, I would hear many stories about the nightmarish behavior of the ex. I have never met her, I guess all the stories about her kind of put me off. From public fights to getting physical, and I am not even talking about sex here! Joe broke up with her face to face at her house. She chased him out, swore and called him a ‘time wasting bastard’. She also told him to ‘go home and fuck the bloody whore in the car’ who happened to be my friend who have said yes when he asked her to accompany him.

She (my friend) was spooked by the whole thing. She even swore to me that it was totally unexpected because you just don’t see it coming from the 5 ft petite girl who looked like she had a good up bringing.

“I mean like, we wear bikinis and do bad stuff but babe, I have never heard anything more worst than those words that she shouted at us that night. All of the sudden, I am Joe’s whore lah!”

This is truly a case of the clothes definitely does not make the man. In this case, woman.

I have been told that I swear a lot. But I rarely used anything beyond fuck, bitch or bastard. I lay off swearing in Malay because I can’t help feeling dirty (not in a good way) everytime I did. Words like Puki kote and everything on the same level (Cringing as I type here) just do not sound acceptable to me.

So lil’ miss Joey’s ex here is waaay out of line.

“The last straw was when she pulled up in the middle of the road right after we went over a bumper and the car behind us was like meters away from us. She was punching me in the face, cars were honking and you could see that people were looking at us. I got out of the car, she was shouting at me, I showed her the finger and took a cab home. I have just got back from London babe. That was it. I don’t think about her anymore. The next day, I broke up with her. Even seconds after that, I felt as if all burden have been lifted off my shoulders. She is the one person I hoped to have never met. But I must have for a reason.”

They were together for a year. I rarely got to see him during that period. What I heard from his mates was that the ‘horrific lady’ didn’t like us, his buddies of 5 years much. To avoid problems, he went along her way. I guess love could make you do funny stuff, I could relate to that. She especially had a problem with his girl mates. She checked his cellphone for messages from or to any other girl that was not her and screen his emails.

“Hey, for once I thought, I felt as if I mattered.”

Heck Joe, if someone throws you a chicken on Facebook, you would think you mattered too wouldn’t you.

Well, you are single now Joe, and if that means you can now hang out with us, heck, it will be all that matters. Cheers to that.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I am in a blogging mood, so I blog

It was the first time in my years as a Starbucks yuppie that I ever come across such … behaviour.

Lovey dovey couples, I could handle, posers drinking the ice blendeds, I could handle, but this one really takes the cake.

After about three hours, one hot and one iced Mocha, I decided to make a move. I was putting away my stuff into my laptop bag when I was alerted by a fellow Starbucks yuppie (let’s just call him Prick) who had this I-own-the-fucking-place-and-bitch-you-are-on-my-sofa look all over his face.

“Could you hurry up or not?”

He asked me. His tone was commanding, arrogant, in an uncivilised even immoral way.


And I in my glorious stubborn bull headed attitude said;

“No.”

And despite my intention to leave, I calmly switched on my laptop. I called for a staff who is my friend who also happened to be on duty at that time (It pays to know someone in your friendly Starbucks outlet!) and ordered for another hot mocha, with a bag of chips, and heck, another chocolate chip muffin.

“You not leaving ah?”

And again, I in my glorious stubborn bull headed attitude said;

“No. Got problem ah?”

My friend is already standing by beside me, just in case it gets ugly. Annoyed,Prick went back to his place. He literally threw his drink on the table. He was muttering some swear words under his breath, possibly Cantonese, I think broken EEngrishh.

My friend whom I was supposed to meet up with for a movie, came in a few minutes after and asked if I am ready to go. I asked him to sit down and order something. Afterall, the movie is only going to be in an hour’s time.

I know you guys think I was being petty. I knew that there was a possibility of the prick shouting at me because I refused to go. But you know, we sometimes do things in the moment, this is one of my ‘moments’. Besides, he is a rude prick, and rude pricks don’t get my respect and they most definitely don’t deserve it.

I could have given him the space if he was nice, if he smiled, and if he added the word ‘please’ at the end of his request. But he didn’t.

In what world do Sarcy give in to mannerless Pricks eh? Not in this one.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Flash backs

I am satisfied with the way things are going now.

Personally, I consider myself as quite successful. At least, I don’t have 6 kids in tow with a body like a hippo dealing with a cheating husband.

I bumped into an ex classmate while buying break fast at kampong Melayu. She had a booth, selling baju kurungs and stuff. I didn’t realize it was her until she asked me if I am who she thought I was.

It took me quite sometime to recognize her. She has changed so much. She was fleshier, wearing a tudung and a cotton baju kurung, with a baby carrier slung on her. The baby was her youngest of 5 kids. She doesn’t look 28, she looked much more older. She even smells old.

She told me that she has been selling clothes for many years. She got married a year after we finished secondary school, and she apologized for not inviting me because she heard I was in KL studying. I told her we were never that close anyway so I don’t mind.

She filled me in with stories of our other classmates. Most of the girls of class 95/96 seemed to have gotten married or engaged at least. I told her I wouldn’t know because I don’t really keep in touch and to be honest, aside from my best friend who is now an executive with Jport, I don’t know (and actually don’t care but I didn’t tell her that of course) about the other classmates. I don’t like to be reminded of my boarding school years, it was one of the worst times of my life.

She said that I look different, but somehow the same. It turned out that some of the girls bumped into me and actually recognized me but none of them had the guts to say hi. They said, they got intimidated.

*“Yela kan. Tengok la you macam mana, tengokla pulak I ni macam mana.” She said.

I was in a pair of blue jeans, sneakers and polo T-shirt with minimal make up and was wearing my geeky glasses. Man, I must have REALLY looked very intimidating. Or maybe I was less intimidating that day because she had the guts to approach me after all.

We exchanged numbers and I left.

I don’t know if I am supposed to be flattered that I was looked upon as intimidating because I am more successful (Or, kind of successful.) or that I am supposed to be concerned about how intimidatingly arrogant I looked like to other people.

Walking down memory lane is peculiar. It makes you think of weird stuff. Once in a while you bump into bits and pieces of your past, and you feel, heck, it’s worth it, because the past did in some way mould you into the person you are now. Though I would want to go back and change my haircut and trim my out of control brows those days.

On my way home from the bazaar and alone in my car, I figured, heck, I am glad that I turned out to be who I am right now, because it’s exactly how I want my life to be, not perfect but independent. And I don’t have 6 kids in tow with a body like a hippo dealing with a cheating husband.


*I mean, look at how you look, and look at how I look.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

BuLaN PuaSa TaG-bet you like it when I type this way eh Naz? Hahaha!

Got tagged by Izham, so here goes, 8 FACTS about Sarcy;

#1 – I am anal

No not that ‘anal’, but the picky, choosy, damn perfectionistic anal.

My clothes must always be washed a certain kind of way, my shoes must always be arranged with the front facing outs, my car must be washed once in a week, and I MUST clear the kitchen counter, wash the pots and pans, clean the stove before I could enjoy my meal and a bunch of other things that MUST be done my frikkin’ way and no other way.

And lint on clothes?? Lint???!

#2 - I hate snakes

Whether it’s in the TV, glass case or right in front of me. I hate them. It grosses me out, and I find they always look so evil. I find the back of the Gen-2 has a striking similarity to the head of a cobra when they stood up, getting ready to attack. That’s why I don’t like Gen-2s.

#3 – I love mornings on weekends

My mornings kicks off early, 6.30 onwards where I jog at the park, usually followed with my solo breakfast trip at my favorite kopitiam, send the car for a wash and surf the net with a nice hot cup of Mocha at Starbucks.

All this of course, not doable in Ramadhan la kan (Duhh!)

#4 – I hate sideparking


Although I tried a lot of times, and am actually quite good at it, I still hate side parking. I would avoid side parking lots like a plague.

#5 – I am prone to being speed trapped


I have been issued 3 summons within the same month. I feel it is unfair that it seemed that everybody else didn’t. Seemed like my Wiwa and the driver attracted the cameras and they have a misconception that I am frikkin’ rich to pay 300 bucks per pop.

#6 – I like it when I forget but other people remembers

Things like the first date, what I wore on that day, what I said, and what I did. I forget simple insignificant things (Afterall, I might be wearing the same outfit for another date, so what la so significant about that?) but I LOVE it when other people remembers and then they ‘merajuk’ because I don’t. I feel so… powerful and mean… I like that feeling.

#7 – I look arrogant

I look like your average bitch next door. Kaypoh aunties loathes me and people don’t usually approach me especially when I am at work. Don’t fret though because everyone who knows me should know that I am really quite the opposite. Can’t do nothing about my face wot?

#8 – I don’t eat durians

Or any of the produce that is. I get intoxicated (not in a good way) by the smell and turned off by the taste. Oh yeah, once upon a time ago I was dragged by a friend to one of the orchards owned by his family, and was chased all over with one.

Now that is just mean!!!
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And who do I want to tag? C’mon now, my blog could hardly get 50 hits in a day. Maks tak glamer k and dah ngaku pun. Whoever have extra time bulan posa ni do la!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Bugged

The last time I checked, I am single.

At least that’s what I think. When a casual datewhom you went out with once like a month ago actually calls you more than 2 times a day, what do you call that?

I call it loathsome.

Calling me darling is not a good idea too. But being the polite person that I have always been, I entertain anyway, taking care to not exceed the 5 minutes limit talk time. Afterall, there’s not much that I could answer to a question as uninteresting as ‘Dah makan ke belum?’ after break fast.

I have checked and double checked if I have a huge ‘L’ for ‘Loser & Lame’ sign on my forehead. Nope, not there.

I regretted going out on a date with this one. Not only was he totally not my type (About my height, talks about his car and his ‘position’ (Yes position eh.) all the frikkin’ time and use the word gonna and wanna more than anyone should), he speaks English (Grammatically incorrect English) with an accent too. The punchline came when he told me he studied in Australia for a good 5 years, to which I sarcastically responded with, “And that didn’t do you much good did it?”.

And here’s the thing, he didn’t get what I meant! 5 years in Australia ya’ll!

“Mana la kau dapat baluk ni Noks?” (Where do you get this guy babe?) A asked me during our Starbucks after buka trip.

“A friend of a friend. What, you expect him to stroll up to me and impress me with an original pick up line or even a conversation? Unlikely.”

He called me yesterday after break fast. I was at my grandparents’ house and I just let my O2 rip like nobody’s business.

“Kenapa tak angkat phone Kak Sarc?” (Why don’t you pick up your phone?) my cousin asked, I smiled and said I don’t answer work calls on weekends.

I never had work calls. Not one for this whole one year I have been with this company.

To put it in Malay about what I think of the whole situation, ‘Rasanya makan kuih apam free ni lagi bermakna dari cakap dengan orang yang cakap tak tentu hala ni.’ (I’d rather eat this free food than talk with someone who is pointless.)

Ahh Crap, my phone is ringing. *holds breath while checking the number… OH Fucking NO!*

Thursday, September 20, 2007

It's a sick SICK world

(Warning-serious post ahead)

The body in the bag news surely rocked many of us.

Just imagining the torture and suffering the little girl must have gone through being an instrument for that sick perverted bastard is enough to make one sick to the stomach. What kind of pleasure could one derive from subjecting a girl to go through all that abject humiliation, only God knows.

And with that, only God could give the fucked up prick what he deserves.

Lifetime imprisonment is NOT enough. Even the death sentence is not sufficient for a payback in return for the amount of pain he had caused the girl and the parents.

He should be strangled, and then resuscitated, and then strangled, and then resuscitated, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

And in Ramadhan, when everybody thought, ‘Syaitan Iblis semua dirantai’, how come one ‘Syaitan’ got loose?


*Author's note; The body was confirmed that of 8 YO Nurin Jazlin today 21/09/07. The body was claimed by her family after Friday prayers. Due to the condition of the body when found, the family did not acknowledge the body as their daughter's yesterday, even though DNA tests confirmed it. Search is still on for the perpetrator.*

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Puasa blues

I am writing this not because I actually have something to say, but I am writing this because I need to do something to keep me awake.

One thing about Ramadhan is that you tend to be awake until the wee hours of the night more often than you would like because you have more energy.

For the past few days, my one hour break time was spent sleeping in my car under the shade. The reason being it is impossible for one to take a nap in the noisy call centre.

IMPOSSIBLE… PERIOD.

And now, whenever my friends call me on the phone asking how was my day, my standard answer would be ‘tiring’.

Tak percaya, silalah call saya.

I am yawning as I type, every limbs and ligaments yearning for the time to go faster so the brain would instruct the body to speed off in her car, break fast and just sleep already.

But I know the moment I finished my break fast, sleep would not be in the schedule. I still have my TV, my laundry, my play time with my cats (Lest I want them to ignore me for not being the good lure slave I have always been), my occasional mamak / McD trip with close friends and also of course, my internet.

That effing Yahoo games are so damn addictive.

And then, there is this business about sahur.

I remembered a friend telling me this one fact of what sets apart our (as in Muslims’) fast from any other fasting practice in other religion. The fact is that we are the only ones who would prep for our fast the next day, and so that is why it is important to have Sahur, so we could differentiate ourselves from other religions.

My response to that was indifferent. I mean, it did come from a man who told me that he is horny 24-7 a day. But then, who is a saint anyway right? Let’s drink our bandung soda to that!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Frikkin' Internet and Me

I have been spending too much time on the net.

First it was the annoyingly fun MukaBuku phenomenon. Somehow I get satisfaction from throwing a sheep at MsJ and giving a blow up doll to Des and to also poke KCL so many frikkin’ time that if I do that in person, he would have been poked to death.

Of course, me being a ‘wallflower only’ on Facebook kind of give me a more relaxed mukabuku situation. Having less than 10 people on it saves a lot of time, in terms of figuring out who to pimp slap silly next. Granted, Sarcy don’t have a lot of online friends, I could live with that, just as long as I have more than twenty outside of my virtual life. I am easy to please like that.

And then secondly there is the amount of time spent on the net downloading songs. I am going to get this cool MP3 gadget that will play more songs than I could ever want to hear in my car without the irritating skipped CD thing happening everytime I drive over a hump. Which is cool, and which is something that another fellow blogger told me about. I have never really been into gadgets, I am a simple, uncomplicated, do-not-care-about-gadgetry-thingies- woman. The only gadgets I am into are MP3 players, cellphones and cameras.

I would rather spend the rest of my hard earned (very very hard earned) money on shoes and clothes and all the things that could ‘menambahkan semak’ in my eensy teensy weensy room.

Other than that, are things like boredom and the fact that I would rather stay at home in Ramadhan rather than going out contributes to this trend, although I do have a few Iftar gatherings to attend with different sets of friends, ranging from those who wouldn’t think twice about paying RM 40 for a buffet spread at hotels even though they only consume around 0.05% of the food to friends who would find even Secret Recipe a bit too much for buka puasa. It's all in good intention, at least I think so anyway.

Well, at least, now I finally feel that the RM 77 I am paying every month is worth it.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Life starts at 30

A friend who celebrated her 30th birthday last year told me that her life is coming together, at last.

She met the love of her life a few weeks after her birthday, an Ang-moh working for an O&G company. She got a huge promotion and she has got a bun in the oven. The love of her life proposed to her upon knowing about the pregnancy, which she held from him for a week because she thought he would bolt.

Turned out, he was ecstatic, and they are getting married in Phuket end of this year.

I am not that close to her, but we share the same complaints about men and life and such. We corresponded over the email and she invited me to her small wedding.

Less than 200 people, close friends and family, only people who really matter, no ‘tiga pupus’ and such, she added during our internet call.

I am honored that she looked at me as a close friend, although the only thing I have given to her was a Raya Card last year and also considering that I met her last in July 2005.

Life indeed starts at 30, babe. Don’t fret. She told me.

Then, we launched into girly talks on how the wedding gown would be like and such. She said she would have been about 4 months pregnant by then, so her dress will definitely have to conceal the bump.

She asked me about how I am doing, and I said I am still single, and that is ok, I answered.

“When I was your age, I was a mess. Work was frustrating as I was making less than what I deserved and my personal life, it was abusive, that’s the only thing I know how to describe it. I think you have it better.”

I smiled. Maybe so. I don’t exactly know if I either like / dislike being single. I like my privacy but at the same time, I hate being alone. So it’s extremely oxymoronic to me.

I told her about my plans of moving out next year, my excitement of having to struggle by myself after 5 years of staying with my parents, and the prospect of change that it will bring, hopefully. I am crossing my fingers on both. I’ll live life as it comes.

She told me that I am heading there. Life WILL get better and I WILL see things clearer.

I can’t wait, afterall, life, it seemed now, does start at 30.

Maya, Love you babe!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The writer's block Blog

I was alone last Ramadhan, and I am still alone this year.

So much for change, heh.

I am maybe a rebel that has swayed off the whole religion carpet, but heck, as far as fasting is concerned, this one I could do, much better than those so called devoted ones who get oh so excited when they get their menses.

For real.

I could still remember the housemate who yelled in all happiness just because she found out that she just had her menses.

“Aku boleh makan, jangan marah.”

Uh… and she is the one wearing the tudung here acting all goodie two crappy shoes. Heh, like, a joke right?

And then came Terawih, I mean, never mind that I feel so awkward being among the telekung clad women, but weirdly I think I should do it at least once in the whole month, just to kick things off by shocking people that I do know the how to-s of ablution. Heh.

Not to forget the Bazaar Ramadhan mushrooming on every space available in Malaysia. Due to the recent price war between consumers and chicken wholesalers, I am just hoping that I would be able to have my ayam percik and eat it too, without being judged on my level of consumer awareness.

Nevertheless, I like fasting, it’s detox with a dash of spiritual benefits fused together. My one wish is to able to have a full fast, all 30 days of it, but being the ‘bleeding one’, that I’ll have to pass.

So, Selamat Berpuasa all.

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Funny things I have been thinking about the past few days.

I don’t like the fact that I am still fraternizing with my exes sometimes. They tend to make me feel important and insignificant at times. Especially when they told me that somehow, they could talk to me like they never could with anyone else, and I would think, if that’s a fact, then why are we exes?

All the time, I would pretend as if I don’t care, but only when I am alone (And hell I hate being alone for this one stupid reason) will I think about how my exes just manage to be fools and bastards effortlessly.

*Throws a wanker*

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Vibrating condom, spotted that at a Shell kiosk when I dropped off my Merdeka lucky draw forms (In hope of winning at least RM 5000, what? One could wish right?).

I really want to know how that works. If only the kid at the counter was not smiling at me when I spotted it.

It was in a pink box too.