Sunday, August 9, 2009

My conversation with God.

Hi .... God...

I know what I have been asking from you all this while and I apologize. It can get lonely here. If I get it right, and if it's correct (Stop me if I'm not) everyone has someone for themselves.

That is ... except for me. That's kind of unfair innit?

I know what I want now. I want a better career and have more cash that I can earn on my own. I mean, it's not as if you are going to give me a partner in crime any time soon.

By the looks of it... I doubt that you will be even considering giving me that anyway. A man who would actually like me for who I am and not how good I am in bed? That does sound a litlle bit farfetched, now to think of it.

You want to know the one thing I regret letting happen in all my 30 years of life? It is that decision of mine to let in my ex into my life for the second time.

It only made me fall in love more with him, even though he pretty much treated me like crap. You know men, if a woman is too ambitious, it turns them off, if we are not, it turns them off too. That's mainly why I chose to be alone. I have been alone for a long time. Have never met anyone who could impress me.

So that said, I don't know what men want anymore. They are bullshit, men.

I think the world could have been a better place if the inhabitants are all women. We are smarter. How many women are actually serial rapists and murderers and idiotice politicians out there anyway?

You know what I think about religions? Well I believe that there is only one God, and that is You. I believe somehow, oddly, You might be the ultimate God that all religions pray to anyway... despite them telling people that that's not the case.

I also believe that You really don't expect us to ceremoniously show our belief and affection towards you. You are God. You are the most tolerant highest form of being in the universe. I don't even really know how big is the whole universe. There is talk about an alternate universe... You know anything about that? Of course you do... YOU ARE GOD!

I also know that I do think that I am a good human being, despite the fact that I don't dress /act the way the religion expects me to. In fact, I think I am much better, tolerant compared to any covered maniacs who judged everyone and go whipping women and not men who drink. I love animals, I recycle, I contribute to charity (No, not the people begging at Starbucks or anywhere for that matter, I think God, they are a part of a syndicate) I am responsible towards my family, I take care of my friends,although they sometimes fail me, I respect the elderly and all that in spite of my weakness for a lot of things. (Shoes included)

So I am hoping, yes... for a better life. At least for now, stopping me from subconsciously thinking of my frikkin' ex would be a huge start... Really.

5 comments:

  1. Hmm.. Lesbo-land. (Pardon the expression) I can't say I find that not appealing. :)

    But anyway, you're right. I've seen beggers from Pasar Malams going back home in Mercs. Bloody hell.

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  2. oh my dear... i have failed you too many times... but please don't give up on me..! :-) i love you, you know that!

    yes, you're a good person, i can testify on that!

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  3. Izso...

    hehe... It is still men in general for me... :)... women are nice... but I just don't have quite the hots for them.

    Jade,

    Ler... failed at meeting me for Vegetarian banana leaf rice is not failing me la laling.. :)

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  4. haiyoo ni kes kronik nih teringat ex. huhu

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  5. There is one say..
    "Woman was made from the rib of man,
    She was not created from his head to top him,
    Nor from his feet to be stepped upon,
    She was made from his side to be close to him,
    From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
    Near his heart to be loved by him.."

    Don't worry dear.. you will definitely find him one day.. Just don't give up hope and pray dear..

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