Thursday, January 10, 2008


First stop, Happy Birthday to my home girl, Sheryl.

Here’s to a great 29th year of your life babeh!


I am, to be frank, feeling a tad awkward.

Well, when I was in boarding school, I was known as someone who would befriend anybody, irregardless of race, family backgrounds, status etc… I was a chameleon to be exact, and I could adapt well with anyone. I did hear rumors going around about this and that person, but I ignored it. Just as long as it does not involve me, then it’s fine.

There had been a few rumors about me too. Word was that I was gay and that I have a girlfriend in one of those Girls’ schools who was said to be a Dato’s daughter. Others was like I don’t pray 5 times a day, I read the bible, I was a member of one of the baddest ‘kumpulan kongsi gelap’ outside of the boarding school I was attending and I was even a bisexual because I had a boyfriend who was said to be the son of some royal family who is schooling in one of those elite military school (no guesses as to which!)

I took all of these with a pinch of salt, I even laughed it off. I was a bit of a tomboy you see, so I don’t give a crap about what the other girls were saying behind my back.

The truth, which only a privileged few knew of was that I am straight, I was going out with a dude who was from some royal family, and he was schooling at some elite military school, I was never a member of any triads, I never knew anyone from any girls’ schools whom I would take as my girlfriend, I didn’t pray 5 times a day as often as I should(One of those few things only a senior could do) and I did read the bible, only to understand things better (I was a very inquisitive teenager).

As you can see, half of what was going around about me was true.

I didn’t even try to tell people the truth. To me, it was senseless to even try. I hate being judgmental and I didn’t expect other people to think the same.

So it is funny to find that now, some 15 years (give & take) later, some people are saying these possible untrue bad things about some other people in the same bloody circle. My indifference is mistranslated as uncaring and extreme aloofness, some even called it unawareness or stupidity. While some of the people chose to boycott this particular person and at the same time dropping some sarcastic remarks about him/her in their absence, I chose to keep quiet.

And this made it awkward for both me and the rest of the circle.

I was asked once if I knew anything about what was going on and if he/she actually made it out to me like he/she is not at fault. I justified my neutral stand on the matter and told them that it is none of my business if what that person told me was the truth or otherwise.

What I do know is that I am their friend, and as long as they would keep me out of their scandalous ‘cerita nenek moyang’, I will stay a friend.

Not to say that I have never thrown anyone out of my circle before. I have. But the point of the matter is it all boils down to the personal friendship between that person and you. You can either join the masses and find pleasure in tearing a person down, or you can stand on your own opinion and avoid toxicity.

Afterall, it’s all about Karma, what goes around comes around. One day, other people will start some senseless gosses about you, and when you are in that situation, you will know how the receiving end felt like.

Note : This does not imply to a certain issue that happened in the blogosphere recently. More to what is happening on my front actually. Funny how coincidental this turned out to be eh?


  1. What's happening in the blogosphere recently? I am so ketinggalan bas.

  2. yelah. what's happening? why la i so dont know this thing.

    anyway.. i've been at the receiving ends of a lot of rumours and gossips. my 1st 2 years away from home into college environment was tough. i've never been away from family. my people skills sucks. common sense was low. hehe. i didnt know how to stand up for myself.

    some are truths. some are fabrications of some fragments of truths. but after so many years.. (like 12 years).. some ppl still remember me only on the gossips they heard. but being 30 - i learn not to care so much. finally. thank god. heh.

    happpy new year beb. when are u next in kl? me wanna hang out with ppl with less toxic in them. hehe.

  3. Jade,

    erkk... okay?


    takpela babe... panjang ceritanya!!


    gile kan? some of the kids from school still remember me as the the tomboy tht i was... got the shock of their life when they saw me now! haha