Goncang apa yang Mak ko bagi yo!

I am at home on MC today.

It all started yesterday, when I couldn’t move my head and my neck starts to hurt. I survived the whole day trying to not be cranky. The next morning, I couldn’t get up and the pain on my neck was excruciating. I couldn't turn to the left and can barely turn to the right without cringing.

The initial plan was to go back to work after my doctor’s appointment. I mean, a creak in the neck could not posibbly mean anything right? I was expecting a referral to a chiropractor for a simple twist of the neck.

Instead, to my shock, I was given a jab on the butt (My first probably since I was a kid?) and medication. According to the doctor, it has nothing to do with pillows when I told her that I thought it was only a case of what Malays call ‘Salah Bantal’. She gave me an MC when I was not asking for it. She urged me to go home and rest and discourage me from going to work as it will further worsen my condition.

So I went back home and change into my pjs and slept the butt jab off.

By the way, I know it was supposed to be good for me but I felt weird lying back exposing the tender flesh of my toosh to the doctor, who was thankfully a lady.

Anyway... if you are curious about the title of this post, I came across it when I was indulging in day time tv. I was surfing channels and I eventually switched on Hitz.FM and was briefly watching this local ‘talent’s’ hip hop music video. The artist’s name is Caprice (Wait... I thought that was a bikini mode or someone like that.) and one of the lines in the song was ‘shake what yo momma gave ya yo!’.

Okay I added on the yo at the end, maybe... it might have just been in it... I can barely understand what he was saying.

But message was duly relayed through the images of Chinese ladies in skimpy clothings ‘menggoncang apa yang Mak diorang bagi’ on the video. There was even a fancy car shot with the Caprice fella in it.

I don't know, that’s just tasteless video making for me. Plus, all the duds, the fancy rides, the girls and the bling is just not Malaysian. We’re not talking about the US of A here – la.

I remembered during my younger days, there was this one hip hop video which I liked by Poetic Ammo mainly because it has this whole local touch. There was no made up ladies getting jiggy with it and no fancy cars.

I forgot what that song was called. But respect yo!

Biasala... Pompuan

If you have been in a car (You must have, right?) with either your Dad, brother, boyfriend, husband or your bloke friends, chances are, you must have heard them sigh and said those exact words whenever they come across women drivers... correct?

I was stuck in a traffic jam for one and a half hour on a Saturday night.

For KL lites, that must have been one of the norms in life. For us Johoreans, it is one of those once in a blue moon thing.

While my navigator was busy snoring with her seat conveniently adjusted and everything, I had to deal with motorcycles zig zagging in and out of narrow spaces, tailgating drivers and men who smiled my way in hopes of getting my attention.

There was now 2 rows of bumper to bumper lines on a single lane, and as I close in to the construction point, 3 lanes have now converted into a 7 lane turmoil.

What I notice about JB drivers is that we are selfish on the roads, even to fellow Johoreans. We are meaner to the outsiders, especially Singaporeans and we honestly, don't give a damn about it.

I have to admit, I don't like Singaporean drivers. My friend told me that Singaporeans are worst on the road, even at their own country. Of course, I don't know that for sure. I avoid driving into Singapore at all cost. I might, but I had to be really desperate I figured.

Recently, my car was banged at the side by my friend’s neighbour. My car was parked, the woman backed out and dented my car.

It got me thinking about the truth behind the whole women driver stigma. I have girlfriends who put male drivers to shame and a guy friend who sucked at driving on the road, preferring to do an ‘Oh My God You Are Killing Me here’ 70 KM/H on the highway!

So how true is this ‘women who drives are bad drivers’ stereotype?

Being the egotistical creature that God created, men will of course support the notion. Their male ego would definitely deny that they don't know how to drive. Afterall, is it not true that men are better in finding directions and not getting lost? They know their rights and their lefts and they are simply better at handling the car.

Women on the other hand, prefer to be careful. We signal when we want to change lanes and we keep on the speed limit.

Personally, I think I am not too shabby of a driver, although I suck at parking and will only be good at it when I am tipsy (It is true and I am not joking!) I like speed, and I am a sucker for fast cars. So you can say that I am one of the unconventional ones. I have 4 speeding tickets to prove that too.

So which one is better? Being skilled and fast, or being careful? So if women who are careful are considered as bad drivers, does it also mean that bad drivers are just being careful?

That’s a thought.

My Music and My New Way To Spend Time!

My sister once told me off in MY CAR that she hates it when I switched my MP3 player on.

“Aku tak faham la your music.” She said. That was when we took the long drive from JB to Mersing. Reception was failing on us, it was raining and I am just not the IKIM or class 104 kind of person.

I grew up heavily influenced with blues, jazz, Soul R&B and hip hop. When all the kids at my block were listening to Malay rock kapak and such, I loved listening to Gary Moore, Coltrane and Miles Davis. I think that was when I was 10.

And then I discovered hip hop and R&B. By the time I was 12, I was listening to Run DMC, Wu Tang, Common and those lyricist back during the NWA days.

Of course I still stick to Anita Baker, Ella Fitzgerald, Shirley Bassey, Sade and others.

As time goes by, I grew older. Of course there were those short phases where I switched my taste to grunge and emo rock.

But I still love the music that I grew up to.

Now my music is an eclectic mix of classic jazz, Neo Soul, rock and even classicals.

Fahrin once remarked that he finds me intensely soulful, deep and sophisticated. I am all that without myself knowing it.

Of course, I told him, one would not even pause and think of such things when you just don't have the time to and don't see the importance of realizing it.

Heck, I don't even know if it’s a good thing. Afterall, I would think that one is expected to follow the crowd rather than standing out. My so called ‘sophistication’ is looked at as being distance, my intensity mistranslated to being complex and my ‘deep’ – ness was loosely taken as thinking too much.

In short, people don't get me, and I am just not everyone's cup of tea, just like my music. I am an acquired taste.

Here I leave you with one of my all time favorites, ‘The’ Erykah Badu with Bag Lady.

At the mean time, look what I have decided to pick up at a RM 2 shop today!

FYI, I totally lost my head at the frikkin’ shop just now. I have heard of Kedai 5 ringgit’ but ‘Kedai 2 Ringgit’? That’s a whole RM 3 off everything babeh.

Afterall, harga semua asyik naik yo, mari kita membeli – belah di tempat yang tersangat la murah.

Rush!

Today I woke up late, craved for a steaming hot plate of Biryani (Which has like 5 million cals probably), a glass of Sarbat and sex.

Great. As if I am ever going to get those things, in that order.

Who had sex after a heavy meal of Biryani now? The only position I will be doing after that would be the Corpse. The only difference is that you won’t catch me doing the whole keeping my breathing in order thing. I will be breathing alright, but it’s not because I am relaxing. It would most likely be that I am sleeping, dreaming of Denzel Washington, or Taye Diggs… or George Clooney.

Yummy…

Anyway, somebody called me this morning, telling me that he missed my voice and I responded;

“Really ah?”

Well, I couldn’t be bothered to be all romantic and stuff. We are still on the fling stage.

No commitment whatsoever. I want to live it up babeh! Hasta La Vista coupledom!

Sugar rush! Caffeine rush! MSG rush!

Choc éclairs, coffee and Maggi in cup!

Fuh!

Belated 2008 Resolution List

It's never too late for a resolution right?

1) Change jobs, with a better salary & better prospect

2) Learn more about photography - Already reading books and also articles I have printed out from the Internet about it

3) Buy a proper Digital SLR - Once the savings account give me the green light, I might be owning one by mid 2008!

4) It is okay to be single, I guess, that said, don't think too much about the whole finding love (For heaven's sakes... I don't even believe in it!) drama - No expectations whatsoever. Might end up alone, might not. Heck... I have no strength to worry anymore!

5) Settle hopefully 30% of the hire purchase I have hanging on my back now! - On the way... on the way

6) Move out from the family house so that I could walk stark naked from the kitchen and dance in the living room in the nude - It might just happen before end of 2008

7) Degree in Journalism - Last year's reso, didn't have time to act on it. Hopefully I will be able to do so in 2008

8) Drink less - Last alcohol beverage was in December 2007.

9) Double up on my savings - No more extravagant buys, Sarcy... Eat your heart out!

10) Have fun - 2007 wasn't much fun, but I hope 2008 will.

Read Between The Lines You Moron...

Yes, some people just take everything that was written in blogs literally.

It's sad to know that some people really don't know how to interpret what bloggers really want to say in the first place.

A blogger friend (Click on Izham on my Links list) recently wrote something about the recent kidnapping of Shalinie, that I am sure rocked all of us even more since the Nurin Jazlin's case which ended in tragedy. Apparently, a couple of not so learned readers took it the wrong way. What was supposed to be a general observation were taken too seriously by the two, to the extent of making their comments sounded naive and ignorant.

While some people can indeed bring their disagreements further by engaging in thoughtful civilized discussion, some just do not have the gift. They take everything personal and looked at everything negatively. They flow with the masses and they got blinded by them in the process.

One should always look at both the pros and cons of a certain opinion or situation. Even though most people might have already subconsciously decided on which side to agree with, they should have never ignore what other people think about the subject.

There are many angles to look at a subject from, and my blogger friend's angle is only one of them.

Now, I am not saying that I am in anyway agreeing or disagreeing with my friend, but I guess knowing him in person gave me an advantage. Besides, I have always been a non judgmental party, an observer who would put myself in different schools of opinions.

We should, in my humble opinion, be open to everyone's say especially in something as controversial as child kidnapping. I know behind the moronic comments those two people wrote, a part of them must have somehow, agree that the situation is exactly like what the author said.

I know I do.

I am in the mood...

...To blog that is.

The thing is when this mood strikes, I rarely have anything that I want to write about.

All my life I have always wanted to be a writer. When I was in school, I was the artist for the school magazine. Apparently back then, they saw me as the artsy chick who would probably sucked at writing.

I sent an English article under an anonymous identity, and it got published! The teacher who was in charge of the English segment was looking for the kid who writes the article saying that he would like this student to be a part of the debate team.

I was a 6th former who was only waiting for the end of the school year, so I kept quiet and smiled when I saw my article in the school magazine. I didn’t even like the artwork I did for the magazine that year. I was at lost for ideas and after sometime, my ‘talent’ in art and design died out.

I concentrated on learning how to write, even went to a creative writing class after form 6, at the same time trying to cope with my job as a receptionist at one of the hotels.

As the story goes, my later education has nothing to do with writing. I scored a ridiculous A for my University Level English test (There was no MUET back then) and the rest was history.

I got bored in University, mainly because I am not so good with numbers and strangely I was enrolled in a course that was riddled with it. My vocabulary back then were massive with vulgarities, because every time I had to use the scientific calculator, I would definitely say ‘fuck’. I can assure you, we use the scientific calculator for more than one subject in the course. So I have said several fucks during those times.

Except for politics, no other subject got me interested. Even then, I was a bit disappointed at the syllabus. If we are going to produce world class graduates, wouldn’t it be better if the subjects were taught in English? But then I realized that you can’t just shove the language to all of the non – English speaking students could we?

So I had to practically translate all my research to Malay and often, my essays would just sound corny… well at least to me as I sucked at Bahasa Melayu (People don’t call me Melayu Murtad for nothing now…)


Talk about direct translations, I happened to find out that a certain celebrity was caught redhanded of translating poems directly to Bahasa Melayu and have comfortably called it her own.

Such a shame. Muka lawa, otak pulak la yang ter – deficit.

That said, I may be a wannabe writer with nothing much to shout about in the looks department (Button nose, short limbs, small boobs etc…), but akak still got class.

I know this post came out not having much sense but you know what? at least I am not inspired to steal and translate from other people’s blog to come up with this entry…

Wachaaaa!!

Baby Talk

Lately, I have been thinking about things a lot.

From how to get side income to having a proper love life, I have been thinking about those things a lot.

I was also thinking about what kind of things would people be talking about me behind my back, would it include things like I am a bisexual who is phobic of devout commitment.

Friends are now shocked with my confession of wanting to have a baby. I want a baby, I want to grow a little person in me that will cause excruciating pain upon having to push them out from me. I want 9 months of swollen feet, shrunk up bladder and pretty maternity dresses.

Strangely, when I was imagining myself being pregnant, the image doesn’t seem to come with a man by my side. It was just of me and my baby, and me, and me. and of course the baby.

“It’s the clock, it’s ticking, and you feel you are left behind.” A friend quoted.

“But really babe, seriously, you don’t want to have a husband with that bun in the oven?” the friend later asked.

Logically speaking, I would have to have a husband in order to get knocked up innit? But a woman of my reputation and standards (which was lowered to almost nil.) is finding it hard to find a man worthy enough of my attention.

I want someone I would race home just to be with. Likewise, I want him to be racing home just to see me.

Not to mention all the grisly she things that my other half would have to grin and bear with. My anal habits, my love for all things complicated and my stubbornness. On the other hand, the man I would choose to be with should rejoice and ‘jubilate’ as I am very capable of assembling various little furniture items and fixtures by myself.

I would just want the man of my choice to be slightly better at cooking. A chef would be great. Heh!

I asked someone if he wants to be my baby’s daddy, and he went quiet. Of course, the question itself would drive men to take the vow of silence la kan?

Okay.. I knoooow… I am rambling, but considering that I am about to be 29, I guess I am allowed to.

Scandalous

First stop, Happy Birthday to my home girl, Sheryl.

Here’s to a great 29th year of your life babeh!

--

I am, to be frank, feeling a tad awkward.

Well, when I was in boarding school, I was known as someone who would befriend anybody, irregardless of race, family backgrounds, status etc… I was a chameleon to be exact, and I could adapt well with anyone. I did hear rumors going around about this and that person, but I ignored it. Just as long as it does not involve me, then it’s fine.

There had been a few rumors about me too. Word was that I was gay and that I have a girlfriend in one of those Girls’ schools who was said to be a Dato’s daughter. Others was like I don’t pray 5 times a day, I read the bible, I was a member of one of the baddest ‘kumpulan kongsi gelap’ outside of the boarding school I was attending and I was even a bisexual because I had a boyfriend who was said to be the son of some royal family who is schooling in one of those elite military school (no guesses as to which!)

I took all of these with a pinch of salt, I even laughed it off. I was a bit of a tomboy you see, so I don’t give a crap about what the other girls were saying behind my back.

The truth, which only a privileged few knew of was that I am straight, I was going out with a dude who was from some royal family, and he was schooling at some elite military school, I was never a member of any triads, I never knew anyone from any girls’ schools whom I would take as my girlfriend, I didn’t pray 5 times a day as often as I should(One of those few things only a senior could do) and I did read the bible, only to understand things better (I was a very inquisitive teenager).

As you can see, half of what was going around about me was true.

I didn’t even try to tell people the truth. To me, it was senseless to even try. I hate being judgmental and I didn’t expect other people to think the same.

So it is funny to find that now, some 15 years (give & take) later, some people are saying these possible untrue bad things about some other people in the same bloody circle. My indifference is mistranslated as uncaring and extreme aloofness, some even called it unawareness or stupidity. While some of the people chose to boycott this particular person and at the same time dropping some sarcastic remarks about him/her in their absence, I chose to keep quiet.

And this made it awkward for both me and the rest of the circle.

I was asked once if I knew anything about what was going on and if he/she actually made it out to me like he/she is not at fault. I justified my neutral stand on the matter and told them that it is none of my business if what that person told me was the truth or otherwise.

What I do know is that I am their friend, and as long as they would keep me out of their scandalous ‘cerita nenek moyang’, I will stay a friend.

Not to say that I have never thrown anyone out of my circle before. I have. But the point of the matter is it all boils down to the personal friendship between that person and you. You can either join the masses and find pleasure in tearing a person down, or you can stand on your own opinion and avoid toxicity.

Afterall, it’s all about Karma, what goes around comes around. One day, other people will start some senseless gosses about you, and when you are in that situation, you will know how the receiving end felt like.

Note : This does not imply to a certain issue that happened in the blogosphere recently. More to what is happening on my front actually. Funny how coincidental this turned out to be eh?

Que Sera sera...

Foreword – penat layan loser (Show fingers in shape of an L as I type… susahla jugak type with just one finger). Let’s get back on pace now. :P

Merina, my dear friend and colleague left us last week. We managed to sabo her by breaking eggs on her head and pouring baby powder all over her face the night before and by smearing some whipped cream on her face.

Just to make it fair, I also kena some of the eggs. Bloody hell… dry cleaning RM 10 tuh!

It was fun, takes me back to my boarding school days la pulak right? Back then, one of our much loved activity is to sabo birthday babies. We have a deadly recipe of 2 weeks about to be chucked out softball socks (not washed of course), eggs, Milo, flour and of course more eggs. We will wait for the victim on the first floor balcony, and when she was in the open, we gunk it on her.

Heh! Come on, I was gunked, so was my pet sis (Back then we had this pet sis thingie. I was able to get two who shares my namesakes la pulak kan. Pokai tiap2 minggu Buy roti john for them!).

Anyway, Babe, looking forward to your wedding… and remember… BHANGRA BABEH!

--

Blowing hot and cold…

I have been doing that these past few days, with someone that I am currently sort of dating.

The reason might be because he is also blowing hot and cold. Jual mahal, the Malays would call it.

I find winning a guy who is not easy a triumph on its own. As for myself, I like playing the I like you but I am not going to let up that easy game. I might sound mengada-ngada and totally perempuan but I… enjoy doing it.

I SMS the dude, to which he replied back minutes after and to which I replied maybe a day later.

I called, say hi, and ignored his calls (Actually, I missed his call, I was downstairs and the phone was in my room) and didn’t get back to him 48 hours later.

But when we meet, it is easy to see that we are attracted to each other.

Even that we don’t do often.

But my friends thought that I am just scared, of the possibility, scared of being associated with anyone again.

I have to admit, at my age, I should not do this. I should be thinking of settling down, have kids and things like that.

I figured, if I really want a kid, I can adopt. I am old (waaaargh!!) enough to. I am paying for my own, though I am struggling, which I think everybody is, what with the price hike on almost everything, even sanitary pads (My mum ‘borong’ a few packs for us the other day. The dudes were arranging it in front of the supermarket and told my mum to buy some before they changed the price.)

I am not sure about going through the whole couple thing again. It kind of freaks me out… unless the guy succeeded in convincing me that he is worth waking up every morning with.

Nevertheless, I like blowing hot and cold (no sexual connotations there whatsofrikkinever eh!). It’s challenging, and I am a sucker for challenges.

Between Liars, believers and avengers

I try not to lie, I rarely believe everything I heard and I am not the avenging type, should I have been lied to or not.

To me, there must be a reason as to why people lie to each other. Lying is normal but it is something that we do not condone. It is what makes us human and it is what flawed us.

But, nevertheless, there must be a reason, and I am not the kind of person who will bug anybody to find out if everything they told me was true … or not. I feel, even if it’s a lie, it is still their right to lie, and to conceal the truth from other people, be it to their friends, family or just some insignificant acquaintances.

However, I do believe this whole business of exposing other people’s dirty laundry in public is nothing but childish. If it doesn’t involve millions of misused government funds, it should not be aired out for everyone to know, especially so if it’s really a matter of a guy so pissed off with a girl that he went around bitching about it to HER friends, even those he never knew, personally.

The first thing I said was;

“Boy! He has a LOT of time to do that for sure!”

He tried to defend his act by saying that a friend of mine was actually the liar and what happened for real etc… etc… to which I replied that I don’t frikkin’ CARE.

All I can see is him standing on his soap box, labeling her group of friends into the white ones and the black ones (I am one of the black ones, obviously) and telling people that he had been lied to by a girl!

Everybody has the right to lie. What happened was what happened between the two / three / four of you. You don’t have to pull the whole entire blogosphere, especially me, into your ‘drama’.

Truth is overrated here. Try to grow up. And for what do I even have to be convinced of who is wrong and who is right? What good would it do me? and what good would it do for you people?

But all I can see here is one guy bitching, the probable lie (to which I am not affected by) and surprisingly I am rather amused when my name was mentioned in that other blog.

And seriously, besides everything that you have read in my blog, how well do you think you know me?

Plus, should everything is over and done with, the girl involved, Des and the rest of the black ones would still be my dearest friends.

You eat your heart out.

PS-> to the rest of the readers, I apologized for this glitch.

Have some class would ya?

I was waiting for a good friend @Hwa Mui when I received an SMS.

I was told to read my blog because apparently one 'suwey' fella commented on it whom I later found to be quite… amusing.

I am aware of this particular 'suwey' fella even though I am 300 over KMs away from KL. The thing was that I have never even known he existed… and I don’t frikkin’ care to boot. Plus, I have always remained indifferent about anything that happened in the blogosphere and was not expecting to be pulled into this circus!

I was with Fi when I got word of this, I told him and he asked me if I would like this ‘suwey’ guy to be ‘taken care of’.

“And what good would that do me la bugger?” I burst out laughing.

“I am not that low-la. Have some class can or not?”

I wish I could say that to the ‘suwey’ fella’s face for real!

To those who have met me, they know what I am like and I they know that I am not trying to be what I am not. Sorry to disappoint you, but I do know that I look fat, as a matter of fact; I do tell people that I am fat. So, I am totally okay by it. Thanks for your honesty, though I prefer you to just ‘go away’ and ‘suwey-kan’ other people’s blog.

Not my blog, please. Only civilized people come here.

The suwey fella to me is just a cowardly bitch and surprise surprise, it is a him! To call him a bastard is an understatement, only a bitch could burst out the way he did. Shameless… really.

Personally, I would prefer to keep my opinions to myself. If I really have something to say, I will say it to that person’s face. Putting it on your blog and announcing it to every Tom, Dick and Harry is just not the way an adult who is supposedly one of those people who are ‘overseas educated’ would do.

All that ‘high education’ is wasted.

By the by, Des is not the faggot here, but the 'suwey fella' would fit that title fine, as he bitches like a girl.

And so what if I am whining? I never bloody asked YOU to buy me a drink wot? This ‘whiney’ chick can buy a whole bottle to herself, and I could damn well make you pissed drunk.

But on the whole, I think this is Owh So CHILDISH! What are we? Kindergarteners!?

This is what I think of the whole thing!