You shall not... wear a bikini and not swim!

I wanted to confirm my booking for Bali just now.

Owh... to be in the sun, drenched in SPF 50 or more sun screen lotion, in my bikini and a cliched Pina Colada is just what my strained muscles and overstretched brain mass need. To have the sun and to waddle in the sea water.

Yes... the waddling part kind of, slapped me in the face.

I have bikinis. I love bikinis. I am a true advocate of hell-do-what-you-frikkin'-hell-want-while-you-are-still-'young' so I do not have anything against curvy women in fluorescent yellow bikinis.

All power to you, sistas.

But... but... to waddle when you are supposed to be... swimming in your bikini kind of defeated the purpose, y'know?

So I decided to hold off the trip and googled for swimming lessons instead.

(Today's my filing day so I do not have a lot of things to do)

I found one, it looks good and it's only RM 220 for about 12 lessons.

I am going to drag my best friend kicking and screaming on Saturday (He is my driver so what the hell, I hate driving in Sunway anyway).

Now to go and find a one piece swimsuit. Hopefully, after the lessons, I can for once, swim, and not waddle.

My ass would probably look like this. Shameless kan? But what the hell, you only live once (FYI, that is Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass you are looking at)

Ganbatte!!!

Questions that I would NEVER have the answer to

1) Most of my girlfriends are turned off by Malay men. They are not SPGs, they are just more welcoming of Malaysian men from other races. My experiences with Malay men had not been pleasant either. Why is that?

2) Why is it that Malaysians are obsessed with this whole race bullshit? Do I really have to spend 20 minutes at the race column EVERY time I have to fill in any form and end up putting Malay Chinese?

3) Why is it that people think they deserve to be paid big bucks when they are doing squat at work?

4) Why do people think it's always the management's fault when they don't perform at work?If you have been on more than 1 Performance plan, then shouldn't the fault just lie with YOU?

5) Why do people get offended when we inform them of their shortcomings, and angered when we don't?

6) Why do people get emotional when you leave them alone and get even MORE emotional when you ignore them?

7) Why do men hit women, and the women decided to stay with the these fucktards who will definitely go to fucking hell because the women love the fuckers?

8) Why do we settle?

9) Why would anyone think owning a beemer make any significant difference with me?

10) How can a guy own the same two pairs of shoes for 5 years?

11) Why would my Grandma be thinking that I actually 'need' a man to 'take care' of me? Have I not been doing exactly that for the past 20 odd years?

12) How can anyone who said that they are not racists, make a seemingly racist statement and still stress that they are not racist? 

13) Why would anyone say that being vindictive is not the same thing as being judgmental? Wouldn't that be something like telling people that porridge is really not rice. 

14) Why would people say that they know something about everything when they really know nothing about anything?

15) Why do people assume that all Johoreans are racists? 

16) So people who assume other people are racists, are not racists?

17) How does Anthony Bourdain get to go exciting places and do exciting stuff?

18) And... I don't?

19) Do I really have to look like Angelina frikkin' Jolie to do all that?

20) Why would anyone think that listening to 50 Cent is the epitome of all coolness? 

Enlighten me would you? 

Dahlink... why wouldn't I be serious?

Darlene, the home office Goddess thinks that I was kidding when I said I was knitting to put myself to sleep (Which is not something you should do if you want to sleep at all).

The thing is, this broad ---

Crochets :

And knits :

What's the difference? Oh well, pretty much the whole, 1 stick versus 2 sticks. I want to make sure I have both sticks covered (This sounds dirty... :P)

Sure I am still on the scarves and hats and snow caps phase. But I will get better. I will, one day be the person who will resort to knitting cool scarves and stuff when I do not know what to buy for someone's birthday.

I have never been a handicrafty kind of person. So to find out that I am actually kind of good at this, was a pleasant surprise.

My first papier mache plate was a disaster. Comparing my weird 'masterpiece' that looked like it was just excavated from some neanderthal dig site with my classmates' colorful tea set (I suspect the parents have something to do with that. Unfair that my mother was also a handicraft retard like me... or should it be the other way around? Egg and the chicken theory.. No?), nobody would ever suspect me to knit/crochet.

Or to be 10 feet close to anything that resembles thread, or needles.

Sure I know how to sew a button, cave woman style. You put the thread in, you sew the bloody button on, and you are done. There is no art there. That's more like a .... life skill.

But to maneuver a ball of yarn (it's called a skein, and there is more than one type of knitting / crochet) and to actually understand what a single crochet stitch means...

For me, it is... unthinkable.

Why did I start?

I have a stressful job. Somehow, I find joy in crochet and knitting. You can see my level of stress on my projects too. The row that was stitched tightly? That was because I was pissed off with my Boss probably, maybe...

Some say that it's a way to abstinence too. Somehow... I don't really think so. :P

So... why would I be kidding if I said I knit? Never say never... :)

A thought to while on while being sick...

I didn't mention it before but I thought I saw my ex best friend when I went to the clinic in Bangsar yesterday.

I decided to have some chicken soup at Plan B at Bangsar Village after seeing the doctor as I doubt that I would be able to cook anything for myself when I reached home. Afterall, I need to take some food before I eat my meds anyway.

I was already seated (And the service at that place sucked!) when I turned and saw her.

What came out of our so called 'friendship' was nothing but a mistake. I am sure she would have a lot to say about me, but I have my side of the story and I hold to it stubbornly.

It was kind of a shame as we were friends since we were 9, but she grew up to be an ignoramus. An arrogant bitch who maybe thought I was an idiot.

I will neither forgive nor forget. I won't forgive or seek forgiveness because I am indifferent towards her existence and I will never forget because she sets the standard of what kind of people I will religiously STAY AWAY from.  

I have had the bad luck of knowing people I shouldn't involve in my life at all recently. Started with this one, and then a certain cow and goat (nicknames that I gave to two ex so called office mates cum ex friends I know), the hippo with self image and priority issues and the soapbox stand-up.

There are just not enough decent people to make friends with nowadays. So much so that my best friend said in desperation;

"Let's just... NOT meet anyone new anymore. Let's just settle with the three of us. At least when we fight, we fight like adults and not stab each other in the back."

I used to like meeting new people, make new friends, but my best friend was kind of right... people are just unpredictable, and there's a limit to my patience (I don't actually have a lot of patience to go around with).

I am not stopping myself from meeting new people, I hope the people I am going to meet after this are able to excuse my stand off-ish attitude.

There is a reason for everything anyway. And somehow, the saying 'Don't judge a book by its' cover' just doesn't work anymore. Maybe we should take into account what the surface is trying to tell us before diving in deeper.

PS : I hate being sick... I hate coughing. Blearghhh!!!!

Sleep Anthem

I can't sleep.

I was down with Tonsilitis and mild fever. Slept off from 10 pm - 6 pm the night before (To which I attribute all this can't sleep nonsense to), woke up with VERY painful throat and phleghmy cough.

Went to the doctor, given Augmentine and cough syrup. I was so happy thinking I can actually sleep the night off as I was working from home and got off earlier.

What happened after I switched off my work laptop? I can't sleep. I tried knitting, tried reading god awfully boring stuff... I still can't sleep. All this after I took the cough meds.

Last time I remembered, cough syrups used to knock me off to slumberland like nobody's business!

I have ran out of sleep remedies.

Milk with honey is crap. Reading is crap. Watching boring movies is crap.

I was yawning... but I cannot sleep!!

Even got me planning for a trip to the gym later because I think if I sweat it out, I can eventually, sleep!!!

That would not be a good idea as I am sick and my friend reminded me that Tonsilitis IS infectious!

Done talking to myself too. Either I am too interesting for my own good or... I am just a narcissist and I actually like talking to myself.

When I can't sleep what do I do? I think of work, I think of how to deal with absenteeism, how to do that, how to do this... at work!

It's bloody IRRITATING when all I want is to go sleep!!!!

Let me try sit ups.. MAYBE it will work. Hopefully.

Or maybe... 4 tablets of ponstan. 2000 mg of drugs always work.

Seriously...

I have been typing and deleting and typing and deleting my entry for close to 10x.

Should I delete this line too...... naah.

I think I should be right as the sun if I go on a vacation.

No?

Haish...
--

Last weekend, I had dim sum with Joyce Chong and her husband and her husband's friend.

Unfortunately, I did not take pictures of the dim sums that we ordered, however, I did take a picture of the empty plates post ravenous dim sum eating session :

I had :

- Steamed stuffed tofu
- Chee Cheong Fun with prawn paste and some fat prawns
-  Steamed shrimp dumpling
- Vegetarian deep fried thingie
- Something with chicken inside

Joyce Chong and her hubby had to ask whether the dim sum had pork or not whenever the server came over to our table with their tray. We even saw a purple colored Dim Sum. It looked like Siew Mai to me. Unfortunately for me, it has pork in it so I had to lay off it.

I was pleasantly satisfied with the chee cheong fun. Omigosh... that was possibly the BEST prawn paste I had. I know, there might be better ones out there but I haven't found it yet, so this one is still tops on my list.

The damage? For four people, we paid RM 16 each, including drinks! And we had a lot for breakfast.

The store is located at Taman Megah, SS2 (I think).

Later that night, I went to Delicious for dinner. I decided to order a Hoegarden to go with my pasta.

Why? Well, my bosses had been raving about how Hoegarden is the best beer ever made.

I am a Heineken girl, but lately, for the past several months, I haven't been drinking. Actually, I haven't been drinking by choice. Those drinking days are gone for me. Being intoxicated is no longer my favorite activity.

At 31, I slow down a lot on useless means of recreational activities. :P~

I would rather hike up Broga Hill at 3 am then guzzle tequila at 12 midnight.

At least I can see a beautiful sunrise on Broga Hill and not the gutter if I decide to puke my alcohol out.

On the beer, the flavor was light. It was ok, but I'll go for Tuborg any day.
--

I was in the gym earlier. I love the gym.

I love how everyone just... kind of gel.

And there's not much pretention either. Everyone is accepting of the other.

We only have one goal in mind : To be a better version of ourselves.

Because the better ones make us more determined to be better than them.

--

I saw an ex staff on Monday.

She was a piece of work, I can tell you that.

Her performance was crap, attitude was crappier and expect the best things to come her way like the world owes her everything.

She is now a Credit Card 'executive' with CitiBank.

I honestly think that the word 'Executive' is misused here. Why not just credit card salesgirl?

Well, I refused to be a part of the world that owes her something. I don't owe her anything.

Dismissing her was the best thing I had to do for my team.

Bitchy? Yes me very much. ;)

Where's the romance, man?

I think we have been seriously tricked by romance novels and American film makers.

I never had a romantic encounter. I met most of my exes through friends or in clubs.

Except for Trey, with whom I met with in a cafeteria (long story).

All the others had been... boring.

And disappointingly... bland. True enough, most of these relationships were tasteless, and meaningless.

I personally think, romance is dead.

And I can't do anything about it.

All of the sudden, I feel like crying.

Romance is truly dead.

My guilty pleasures (As highlighted in red.) :P

Running on the treadmill wearing my pink socks, knowing very well that underneath my Nike shorts and running top, I am wearing a Shaun the Sheep undie which I bought for Christmas, listening to Britney Spears' Radar. ;p.

Life is short. Why so serious????

I pray...

... to Thee that I shall never be pissed off with my friends this year.

To never never ever let my uninsured mouth (in other words..mulut tak insurans) take over my brains.

To be tactful and ever so patient.

Amin....

I think the hardest thing to do is to watch someone else's life get trampled on by another person from the sidelines...

...and at the same time having no power at all to help.

God Speed my friend... I will always pray for you.

So... what do you do when you find that going back to your hometown = depression?

I just realized that JB is a very small place... heavily laden with a lot of memories... most of them, bad ones.

I have been places before I moved back to KL almost 3 years ago. I have had 5 relationships with different men and one of them was an on and off bullshit that involved a lot of heartache and tears.

Yes... I CAN cry.

Everything in JB reminded me of everything that happened. I was stupid and ridiculously emotional. I was a mess!

And I can't help but to feel ... depressed that I was all of those things. Oh God why oh WHY was I even acting the way I did was beyond me!

I am doing better now, yes, that I admit.

But still, can't help but to feel depressed all the same, thinking of the years I lost focusing my energy on stuff that didn't matter in the first place. I was trying to search for happiness and personal satisfaction in all the wrong places and knowingly trusted (and loved) the wrong men.

But the right thing to do here is to just suck it up and move on, which I thankfully did. I can't hit any of my exes with my car now anyway.

-_-...

The person who will feel happy again once her head hits the pillow in 10 minutes...

Sarc

Stripping off bad aura(s) and other new year stuff...

I was having a bout of depression a few days before new year and actually is still having mild new year depression as I type now.

It's a daunting thought to know that I have not done some of the things on my list in 2010. It's even more umm.. disturbing (?) to know that despite the changes that happened to me, I am still... single.

I guess I appealed to men more when I was fat?

So, I turned to my good friends.

But I am still... depressed.

So, here is my short and stupid resolution this year:

1) Travel
2) Try to make do being on my own... and pay for sex
3) Work on toning my body
4) Learn to swim
5) Learn Photography with my Canon EOS 1000D
6) Stay focused on my career
7) Try to take on new stuff

So in line with resolution #4, I have decided to go and get a full bikini wax after two years of not doing so (And... I shaved in between k? Don't mean that my pube-air can be braided or anything like that....0_o')

Although the pain was familiar, but I still cringed now and then especially when they were doing the 'sensitive' area. And I have a relatively high pain threshold.

And I have to admit, there are positions that are requested by the bikini waxer that reminded me of porn stars. I will not elaborate on the positions, use your imagination la!

I thought that this quote on the bikini wax place's wall was hilarious.

Well, I have mown my lawn. What about you?

Happy Belated New Year Ya'll!