Saturday, February 23, 2008

Multiple weekend post

Recently, I had to reformat my laptop.

So I was having a jolly time (Not!) waiting for a friend to finish reconfiguring my lappy.

Apparently, my lappy was loaded with a few viruses that disabled my wireless internet connection.

My whole stash, gone. My MP3s, gone but we made a back up for pictures and such.

And then I realized that I still have some pictures of my ex in a CDR-W, which I deleted and reformat for better use.

I did it easily and without thinking twice. No reminiscing and no what ifs.

Now all I need to do is to keep it up. I wish him the best of luck and nothing but good things for his business. I am also hoping for my partnership in the company to be ended. I no longer want anything to do with him even if it’s only as a friend. I believe he could only screw my life up more than I could.

Do I still love him? For a split second I admit I did miss him. But again, why should I miss him when I am in the company of greater and better gentlemen who do not only see me as a lady but as a friend?

So out you go, out of my head and out of my life... for good.

--

I am focusing on what I want.

And I ‘informed’ someone I knew recently that if you are going to be interested in me only as a fling, I am sorry, that is not what I want.

I am not wasting my time on shouldas and couldas. I want to tackle my love life just as I would with my work.

Straight to the point, blunt and uncaring. Practical in a word.

So I stopped calling the bloke. He apologized for not being up to my seemingly impossible high ‘standards’ and I didn’t reply his text.

I didn’t even know that I had ‘standards’ when it come to men before he brought it up.

If I am to reply, what could I send him? Besides, the chemistry is not enough. I get easily bored, and without chemistry, I’ll get bored even faster. And plus, he was not even trying.

There are other contributing factors which I felt obliged to not put in this post in order to protect the bloke involved.

I am still struggling to be a good human being. My private life is still my private life. And whoever was in my life, will be kept in the strictest of confidence. Anyways, I seldom think about him nowadays. I think about work more often than I do of him.

Although it was fun while it lasted, and I felt, for a split milisecond, that somebody out there really did think about me... sometimes... when the urge strikes...

Okay... that is not exactly a good thing is it?

A fellow blogger told me that I should stop taking my destiny too seriously. Other people who knows me in person told me that I should focus on my destiny.

Neither of them is wrong, but of course, I figured one has to strike a balance between the two.

So I came up with this;

Like what I told my boss one time ago when she asked about my work ethics, I do my work and I don't care much about being liked.

Personal life wise, I live my life and I don't care much about being liked, but I do want to be loved.
--
Oh my... is it starting ALL OVER AGAIN?

Life is so full of unneeded drama.

I have a friend who is currently walking on eggshells as a result of a forbidden relationship about to go wrong and about 300+ KMs away, trouble is once again brewing over something really petty.

Now, except from the issue close to home, I have decided to turn a blind eye and a fugitall attitude.

Hell... I am 29 years old, nomore in kindergarten occay?

Run along and play nicely with the other kids ye.

3 comments:

  1. Chill sarclover. Taking yourself too seriously sometimes spoils the fun.

    Life is about how you live it, not how you wish it was lived.

    If it's chemistry you want, it's chemistry you'll get eventually. Just a matter of whether you'll get Soft water or hard water. You get my drift?

    If it's not meant to be then it's just lining you up for something better.


    There. Three Izso original quotes for the day!

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  2. better things will happen later in life, so hang on there...
    at least that's what i tell myself

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  3. Izso,

    very impressive lah... i suck at coming up with quotations. price quotations boleh la

    Kawaii,

    i guess... when it comes it comes la ay?

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