Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Savasana cry me a river

I admit, I have kind of... drifted off to sleep during savasana (Corpse pose - Closing/Restoration).

I have no idea if I snored (I sure hope not). I am not a snorer in nature but after a vigorous practice, who knows.

My Guruji never gave us corny self reflection meditational speech during savasana too. And we savasana in silence.

Which is great. I can't help myself from cringing or smiling sarcastically whenever I join a class where the teacher will start saying things like 'You are beautiful just the way you are.'

Mainly because, I know that... I don't really need anyone to remind me of that. I say that mantra in my meditation every day. I repeat that 108 times x 3 in a day.

Eversince Tom passed, I found that I have become much more of a crybaby than I was before.

However, I have never quite experienced that whole... savasana awakening. You know, where people 'wake up' from the dead and start bawling. It troubles me sometimes. I thought that maybe, I am not suitable for the practice, if my spirituality is unable to reach to that level.

But, hey... Yoga is never a competition. No one should ever compete for a 'Savasana Awakening' as well.

Maybe I am just too hard to break. Too emotionally unavailable.

Maybe I will some day change. But I can tell you that it's never going to be now.

With Love, Namaste.


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