I will be a sobbing mess. Sometimes I didn't even know why, most of the time, it was because of one particular reason.
No I am not going to elaborate on the reason.
After wiping my tears and gathering my sad self together, I unrolled my mat and started by sitting in a lotus position, donning the mudras and closed my eyes.
It's a strange feeling, if I can ever come as close to describing it. It's a mixture of surrender, pain and joy all in one. I focus most of it on my breathing, and on that day itself.
I have always acknowledged death as a natural cycle. It became more apparent since the incident. Death brings a strange kind of epiphany to the living. Unresolved questions don't help.
I am as human and woman as I can get when it comes to dealing with death.
There was resentment, anger and frustration.
When my Yoga teacher recently asked how was it going with me, I pursed my lips, smiled and said 'Good.' and quickly changed the topic to his vacation.
Of course, it was a lie. I seek refuge in Yoga, convinced myself that I am not good enough for anyone and resigned to getting the worst that life has to offer so far.
Growing up, I didn't have much choice. Now that I am 'grown', to an extent, I became dismissive, slightly bitter and is strangely, accepting.
I don't know how long I have left to live my life. I am not asking for much.