It is for me to know, my best friends to find out, and for others to never find out.
I had another conversation with God earlier while I was driving to the office around two hours ago.
There comes a time when all you want is another person to share things with... as in a man, to fall back to, to do 'stuff' with and to fight and make up with.
I do somewhat wish that the chemistry I have with an NSA could be more than it is right now.
And then I was always stumped at how I have always missed him as a friend... and also how I am not good enough for him.
I don't really know why I use the 'I am not good enough' excuse more recently.
Recently meaning... for the past couple of years.
Always, when it comes to my personal life... I always think I am not good enough.
Finding out that one of my ex who I keep in touch with is having a baby with another woman is kind of... disturbing...
So I was not good enough to be the mother of his child. That kind of hurts me.
Having a child aside... what I want is a companionship that goes further than a sleepover or a fortnight breakfast.
I am a good woman, I am independent, I am kind (I think), I read books, I know the hell I am talking about, I don't smoke, I rarely drink, I take care of my body, I am
I have turned a complete 360 degrees from what I was back then... and ...
The good men still go for the stupid, bitchy ones who don't seem to know what they have and hence, take the good men for granted.
Quoting what my home girl, Ms. Mary J. Blige would say- I can love you better than she can
So I told God to just stop discriminating and throw some of those men my way. I would gladly accept NSA as my boyfriend. We think the same, I am ok with his habits and I am willing to try...
Maybe God just want me to get over my whole inferiority complex before he is good to give me a good one.
I'll take that.
Thank You, God.
PS : Sarcy is never religious but she is highly spiritual and she does believe that there is a higher, bigger and much more significant entity looking over us.