I realized that I might be slacking these past couple of weeks.
One day I sort of dropped everything I was in the middle of doing (reading, internet, gym, yoga... whatever) and just started to reflect on life.
a) Some people might think that I am successful, this fiercely independent 31 year old woman whose faith in being an individual never falters.
b) Some might think that I am just a confused, miserable, pathetic single woman who has been unable to actually snatch a guy.
Some might also think that aside from being (a) and / (b), I am also a woman who is totally sacreligious. The fact that I wear all those stuff a Muslim (or a Malay? Wah... even writing this made me feel stupid.) should NEVER wear is enough to make people think that the road I am on is paved towards hell.
My reflection got me thinking about my career options.
I am a workaholic. I guess by now you guys should have known that.
The equation is this :
1) I have 60% control of my body. I changed my body in less than a year and managed to maintain my weight as it is for more than a year.
2) I have 10% control of my personal life. Most of the time I am annoyingly afraid, confused and unwilling to take that step.
3) I have 90% control over my work. My career buys me all the stuff that I have. I am hiding behind my credit card(s), shoes, bags, dresses and make up. I can buy them when I want them, stop using them when I feel like I don't want to and get rid of them when I get sick of them.
I have an ego the size of the universe.
Well... when it comes to work.
And then come my personal life and my ego shrunk to the size of a speck.
So... I buy stuff that makes me look hot. I wear an attitude that no man can actually take and I make friends with people who understands me.
What can I say... I am an acquired taste.