Thank You

I said Thank You to The Scotsman in very unexpected situations.

I do.

So much so that he was asking me 'What did you thank me for?'

I guess it's like a habit for me to say 'thanks' to people.

For one, The Scotsman treats me like an individual, not a possession. He listens to me and he takes what I think seriously.

Like which shirt to go with the shorts he chose for the day.

(Okay, so that's  not exactly ... important.)

During the weekend, we spent it mostly getting to know each other better.

I taught him how to eat 'nasi lemak bungkus' with half boiled eggs. He preferred to mix his rice with the half boiled eggs and eat them that way.

Apart from Will, my crazy American friend who has a penchant for really spicy foods, he would be the other white guy who loves his chili and spices.

The only difference with The Scotsman and Will would be, that I am dating The Scotsman.

The Scotsman thinks my foods are weird at times. Like cendol, which he doesn't like, or that soy cincau drink I had at Madam Kwan's.

Well, I thought that the way he does his dishes are weird, so we kind of squared off.

The weekend is also the time that we would be getting some downtime by hanging out by the pool, basically doing nothing, and having some sun.

But the thing is, I think the sun hates me.

I can't seem to come to any other conclusion other than that when it is so obvious.

The sun would be shining fiercely when I am in the apartment, or on my way to the pool, and the moment I arrive at the pool, it went cloudy.

I honestly hope that my fat(s) has nothing to do with it.

Wait. The white man in the pool with the jiggly belly didn't seem to make the sun disappear. He's been here for the past hour.

Dammit.

I have to position myself ideally too so that my fatness doesn't really show.

The Scotsman scoffed this off by saying all the other girls by the pool are not perfect either. Some of them are too skinny, butt's too freckled... etc.

"So... don't care about these things. Just relax and enjoy."

So for 35 minutes, I was relaxing, Sun came out for about 20 minutes and it feels like bliss. Just have to make sure that I have my I-Pod on the next time because if I have a gun next to me, I would have shot that crow that was making the damn noise for 10 minutes non stop.

So we happened to be around when the Ferraris came out to play at Pavilion. We were sitting nearby having our post-brunch cappuccino when the cars came out.

"I am going to take pictures of the people who are taking pictures of the Ferraris."

So I did just that :

I mean, what's the deal anyway, to take pictures with cars that don't belong to you.

Odd... human behavior.

And I had my taste of really good tomato sandwiches.

They were... delicious.

And pancakes at home. Joyce just felt like she wanted to have pancakes and so she invited a couple of friends (My staff from office) and we had a hot plate pancakes mini breakfast party :

It was great.... full of calories... but NICE.

So I guess, thanks are in order to people who made my weekends complete : My best friends, Joyce and Krishna, my girl night out partner, Faz, to be able to enjoy herself at No Black Tie for a Jazz trio on Friday, even though she is not really into Jazz :

And of course, to The Scotsman, who actually still wants me around every weekend.

Thank You!

Agitated

I met up with a good friend for lunch earlier. I drove to Pavilion and met up with her at The Loaf.

Now, I love The Loaf at Bangsar. Their service is not exceptional, but it's decent.

So Jade and I walked into The Loaf, expecting, first of all, food.

The waitress that served us waited for a while for us to choose from the menu.

You know how 1 person is actually enough to put people off from patronizing an establishment? The waitress that we had was such person.

A group of 4 people came in maybe 10 minutes after us and after they placed their order, their waitress, who was not ours, set the placesettings and served them the digestifs of freshly toasted bread and butter.

Jade and I looked at our yet to be set table and we looked at each other. At first, we didn't know that we are supposed to be served digestifs.

We ordered the grilled beef salad as appetizer, and after seeing that the food had arrived at our next table, we called to the other waitress to check on our order. She did just that and came back later with a plate of bread and butter, and set our table with plates and cutleries.

The waitress who served us was nowhere to be seen at this point.

Our appetizer arrived finally. We had to wait for a while for our main course, to the extent of Jade calling our waitress to find out what exactly happened with our food.

The waitress said :

"Yes we serve you the appetizer first."

I looked at Jade and said that well, the appetizer was not even served by YOU.

I guess, both Jade and I was so befuddled at that time that neither of us can actually say anything. We were speechless!

The waitress then disappeared and then came to take the empty dishes.

No apologies, no smile, no nothing.

Jade and I was irritated by then.

The other waitress then sent our food to our table. Jade ordered pasta so she asked our waitress for some paprika / black pepper.

Apparently the waitress said :

"Yes... black pepper sauce... yes."

Jade had to then ask for chilli flakes, since the server, didn't seem to know what paprika was.

We didn't really enjoy our meal. We were talking about the bad service rather than anything else.

Like how, upon ordering of the grilled beef salad, we were not asked on how we would like our beef, or how Jade wasn't asked if she wanted Spaghetti or Fetuccine for her pasta, when it was indicated in the menu that we do have a choice.

I bet if we were to ask that person about a certain dish, say, about the beef salad, she will tell us, with her blank face -"It's a salad."

"No need la kerja here that woman. Better pergi kerja kat mamak je. Mamak punya service pun elok lagi." I remarked.

Did we complaint? Well, the floor manager was no where to be seen and it won't be a good situation if we find out that the 'waitress' happened to be the floor manager. So we leave it at that.

This was what I personally observed. None of the servers at The Loaf actually bothered to smile at us, the paying customers. And being that we are Malaysians (Tsk tsk), we didn't say anything because, well, I guess, I was sleepy and I wasn't in the mood to argue or for conflict.

I am a terrifying disgruntled customer. But somehow, I was too lethargic to say anything.

On Monday, I met up with Jade at One Utama. She wanted to buy the Benefit's lipstick that I have. So I brought her to the Benefit's counter. I had an excellent promoter the last time I bought stuff there.

Unfortunately, the lady who tended to me wasn't there. There was a fairly new promoter and another girl who seemed to be more knowledgeable and informed of the products.

Jade remarked, because she was the one who was trying out the make up, that the girl who tended to her seemed to not want to help her.

It must be a trend for Malaysians to just have fucked up customer service skills because right after that, we were irritated again by the sales promoter at Xixili.

I wanted to buy a lingerie set there, but changed my mind because of the bad service rendered by the uninformed promoters there.

However, we went to the Benefits counter at Pavilion just now and thankfully, the promoters there were excellent. We complained to them about the service that we received at One Utama, and then we found out that the person who made me up, was responsible for all Benefits outlets in KL. He was apologetic and assure us that it will be taken care of.


1 person is enough to put people off from spending money. 1 person is enough to give any organization a bad name.

If I have the chance to change this, I would make these three people who we encountered to go through bad customer service for 1 year.

Crap begets crap... No?

Happiness

Define happiness.

Whenever someone asks me to do so, it would put me in a funk.

I am 32 and I have never quite know how happy truly feels like.

Was it when I got my first paycheck? My first kiss? The letter of acceptance to the University I chose to drop out from? The moment my ex boss told me that I got the team manager position?

Or the time I spent with someone who truly treats me with respect and adoration?

I am still stumped as to what truly defines happiness.

My good friend recently became a mother and I have never seen her happier. Her eyes lit up whenever she talks  about her baby girl. I wondered then if my idea of happiness is as domestic as having a kid.

Or should it be more? Should it be the time when I finally would have the opportunity to roam the streets of Morocco and climb the Kilimanjaro?

Or would it be the time when I finally would be given the chance... nay ... the challenge of leading a team of 100 people worldwide in a Fortune 500 company, making 100K a year?

Or would I define happiness when I finally have that chiseled toned body that I have always wanted?

For now, happiness is a blur to me.

I was happy when I found out that my best friend is pregnant. I am sad though thinking about the time when she would pack up and move out of the apartment.

She is now starting a family. It starts with the little munchkin growing inside of her.

I find it difficult to foresee myself as someone's other half, much less someone's wife... or just being proposed to.

Someone told me that people change. Whether it is towards good or bad, that's entirely up to the person.

So, happiness, that concept, is pretty much still elusive to me right now. As long as I still have things that I still want, I don't think that I can actually be happy.

I will blog about it, the moment I find that missing piece, I would.

Heady

I have to go back to my hometown this weekend.

I said it'd be good to take a break from each other, The Scotsman and I. We have been seeing each other on all of the past 3 weekends.

I was supposed to go on a another date with another person. I called it off because I didn't have the time to.

Was not interested to go, actually.

I am not putting my eggs all in one basket, no. Afterall, The Scotsman and I am not sure if we are going to  go... anywhere.

But... we like each other's company. He makes me smile, and laugh... like I would with my friends. I sing in the car with him next to me... I never, FYI, do that with just anybody.

And plus, I don't get a lot of nice smelling vain men who at the same time thinks that I am awesome despite my bitchy and workaholic nature.

Of course, everytime we go out, people will stare and will most definitely think :

a) I am a hooker
b) I am a gold digger
c) He is older but he has the moolah to take out someone younger.

The Scotsman told me that I do not have what it takes to look like a hooker. I am not trashy looking. I don't look like a gold digger too, I don't even wear gold to begin with.

I certainly fail at being a Sarong Party Girl because I do not have long dyed hair and extremely tanned skin.

But next to him, I look ... happy.

However, I am a sensible woman. I am still keen on going out on dates, it's just that, I am treading carefully.

And I already told The Scotsman that I want him to stay as a friend even if we don't work, in the end, which could be, heartbreaking, but hell, shit happens right?

I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I am looking forward for a weekend of family fun and fuss, but I am also looking forward to seeing The Scotsman again the weekend after. My routine changed, and I like it. :)

Nugget

Last weekend was a... nice weekend.

I met up with The Scotsman for some R&R and this included window shopping sessions in Bangsar and PJ and also a trip to Malacca.

Very enlightening. All the more enlightening was the fact that I find I might need someone who is older than me. It dawned to me that men my age, can't quite... get me.

I am ... difficult.

Anyway, right now, I am still woozy. I think it's because of the heat yesterday. We walked on Jonker Street under the glaring sun. He came with me in my mission to find a nice hotel for my team's outing in May.

He was patient with me. He was also the first man I go out with who offered to carry my bag in public.

And he applied meds and put plaster on my blistered toe. Without being asked to.

And, he kissed me on my forehead... I mean... I didn't have that a lot in the past.

He made me feel... nice... tingly... although I know I don't know if this is going to work or not. He makes me look forward to my weekends now.

I am going to enjoy this as long as it lasts. I don't know when it will end, or if it will end, but I am thankful that God brought me this man to make me feel nice about myself.

...-_-.... The heatstroke is getting to me I think.

Brainiac Schmaniac

When I was with Trey, I would complain talk to him about Theoretical Politics.

I was a student of Economics then and one of my favorite subjects was Politics.

I would yak to him about Aristotle, Plato, Montesquieu, Rosseau and Marx.

He would in turn talk to me about Criminal Law.

Most of the time we would stop each other by saying :

"Ok. Let's not talk smart now."

To have a smart man is I guess, a bonus.

And Trey, is smart, without being a smart - ass.

One of the exes I had went on and on about local politics.

Ranting about how a certain politician really did this and that and this Dato' X should be crucified for doing XYZ.

My interest in politics was lost when it became applied politics. Politics seemed so perfect on paper. In reality, it is filled with betrayal, lies and dishonest ugly politicians, riddled with propagandas which sometimes, do not even make sense after some time.

All I can manage was : 'Yeap. If you say so.'

My idea of a fulfilling conversation is not one that revolves around how politician A fucks Politician B up, how one religion trumps the other down, how one person spent millions to falsely take herself as the First Lady (Yes... although I would prefer to be detached from local politics scene, unfortunately, I know stuff.)

I would prefer to talk about my date's/partner's personal take on stuff. Humanity, Love and Peace (I am a hippy, in nature, I think...). I want my kids to appreciate their own culture, but to be open to others' as well. It horrified me that some of the kids I know, who are raised up in a more traditional and conventional way than how my siblings and I were, know squat about their own culture. To start, they only have 1 culture to call their own.

We have two!

It surprises people that I love zapin, Ghazal and Gamelan just as much as I like the lion and dragon dance.

And Silat... That still turns me on. Trey was a student of silat and now I know why I was so intrigued by him. He was this Caucasian looking mixed guy, who put on a samping and a simple 'tengkolok' (the simple cloth headgear worn by the Malays from the olden times) and making silat moves who was, at that time, in love with me, the person who in turn, could not zapin and had(s) an aptitude for DIY and putting together IKEA furnitures.

-_-....

I have never thought I was smart. If I were, I wouldn't be here. I have an average IQ and I love books. I love fulfilling conversations, not necessarily an intellectual one. I used to act as if it is really important for me to use big words to explain something as simple as junk food.

Now, I would rather just see it from a no fuss point of view. Life is already complicated as it is, without the national agendas going wrong and endless government conspiracies (that are not covered up that, well, might I add).

So, if you think that I would be turned on by a brainiac, back then, I might. Now, if a man can't feed my need for a meaningful convo, then, the man is in for some serious headache.

Strange

I was going on and on about my need to make sure that my ego wins everytime I am involved in something that has no relations to my ego.

And then I went on CNN and BBC to read about the Japan tsunami updates.

And I also went downstairs to the level 1 car park to get some air.

I thought, why am I fussing and griping about men when there are many other pressing matters all around?

I have a job, I have a car, I have money and I have everything that I need to go on with my life. There are people who lost all those things in a blink of an eye.

Yet, they are still there.

Yes... I think the next thing that I SHOULD do is to be thankful.

End of Story.