Recently, I was invited to a good friend's birthday do.
Except for the birthday boy, I don't know anyone else in the group.
I guess, I was one of the youngest in the group.
And in any social situation where you don't know anyone else, you keep the person you know, close.
Of course, I was mingling with the new people at the table, although not so flamboyantly trying to make my presence heard/seen.
As it happened, I got into a whimsical 'free-style' conversation with one of the guys I was seated next to. A retired pilot, who is still single, and Scot (Don't ask).
My friend texted me with a cheeky :
'*Robert has never been in love.'
Well, the thing is... neither have I, actually.
See, I am not sure if I have ever been, 'properly' in love before. I don't think I am going to actually get a chance to.
Even if I am in love, then it would be with something like my Yoga practice.
But organically, with a male human being?
No... I don't think so.
*Robert and I talked throughout the night, with occasional pauses in between when the other ex-pilot bloke came over to speak to him.
He asked me if I have ever been married (The majority of the ladies there are either married/had been married). I said no. I told him that I repel men. I am no good at this dating and flirting thing.
Like all of my guy friends, he started giving me some pearls of wisdom about dating and flirting. I said, dryly, that I am just, not ever going to be good. I am not a head turner and I hardly even bothered to smile to strangers.
'Well, even when you are smiling, you have this unavailable vibe.' Robert said to me.
That interested me, that piece of observation by a stranger I have only known for the past 1 hour or so.
Well, maybe I was. Maybe, I am just... tired of being available.
At the end of the night, we exchanged numbers and Robert said he will give me a call sometime. I shrugged and nodded.
I didn't really... care, to be honest. Whether he is going to call me or not, is something quite insignificant. Although, like any Scot I know, he was a charming, well-spoken, very together man.
I guess, the piece of rule I am now living by is a personal subconscious choice.
I am going with the flow, come what may, devil may care.
Yeah... so let me strike a pose and live my life, on my own terms.