But then, given my schedule (I work a combined maybe 50 hours a week...), I don't think that I should be.
I have challenges trying to settle in my new position. For one, being a manager also needs you to have exceptional level of patience. Well, we have this saying in the office that in the end, patience is ultimately virtual... as opposed to being a virtue.
I am currently in my anti - sosh mood (Short for Anti - Social). Until everything is figured out and I find light, peace and tranquility again, this anti-sosh condition will prolong. Light, Peace and Tranquility here is directly linked to the whole access mess that I am in charge of right now.
Something not so 'SMART' should not be named 'SMART'. It is just sooooo inappropriate for it to be named that when it is seriously deducing my common sense to liquid.
But.. still... I'll go through it. Although cliched, yes.... the tough will go through it all when the goings get frikkin' tougher.
*Cries and sobbing uncontrollably...*
The people in my shift right now is trying to be strong. We haven't been taking our leaves for the past week few months and is understanbly burnt out of our brains. I constantly think about a few things in the office, facing my laptop, at the same time trying to fight the urge of jumping down 16 floors :
1) I save pictures of white sandy beaches, of people in bikinis, lying down on their towel, sipping cocktails, in my laptop... right now it seemed like a faraway dream that I could not quite reach out to... but again... one can hope... secretly, I wish I can beam myself somehow out of the office without anybody noticing.
2) My PTO (paid time off, or in Malaysia, we just call it Annual leaves) have officially reached about a month. I wish I can take all of it at one time.
3) Constantly thinking am I more burnt out because I am single? Yes? No? Maybe?
4) Should I be more grateful that I don't have to be more burnt out because I don't have emotional men to deal with?
5) Should I stop by at Ikea to have that sinfully and surprisingly delicious RM 1 vanilla ice cream cone?
6) Am I like bummed now that I am about to turn 31 in less than a month starting from now?
During my weekly banana leaf rice fuelling session in Bangsar last weekend, I was positively not myself. After that we drove around KL and I was yabbing.... incessantly about stuff that I can't even figure out. I was also yawning trying very hard to not fall asleep in the car. At the same time, I was also kind of grateful that I wasn't driving, to this, I thank Bitch who actually had the strength and gumption to 'layan' an anti-sosh woman.
Questions... questions... questions... I think I need a big bottle of sauvignon to drown my thoughts.