I was out with the T-man for some drinks and the subject of conversation turned to what we want later in our life.
Not surprisingly, I went on about my career, where I want to be 5 years from now blabla. I have to admit, it did sound a bit like a job interview answer. The works, big position, big pay, big bank acct, big house, big car.
He smiled and said; “Hmm… wow… I just want to fall in love, get married and have kids, have an early retirement and stay here in Malaysia. Don’t think I’ll go back to the States.”
And then he asked me on exactly why my goals in life had nothing to do with my personal life.
“What do you mean it has nothing to do with my personal life? When I get ahead in my career, I’ll make more cash, when I have more cash, then I can do anything I want to do.”
He laughed before asking for another bottle of beer. Still chuckling he asked if that would include ‘ordering & financing’ a gigolo for my sexual needs, artificially inseminate myself to get kids and hiring a nanny to take care of them?
I kept quiet. I was not insulted or offended, but that just got me thinking. I was looking at the bottle of beer that was in front of me and was just… well … thinking about it.
“Hey… I am sorry if that rubbed you the wrong way.” He said when he noticed me keeping quiet and lightly touched my shoulders.
I shook my head, I mean, I was genuinely in my thinking man mode. It didn’t rub me the wrong way but it just got me… well… thinking.
Maybe I am missing out on the things that matters now. In my pursuit for everything powerful and materialistically driven, I have forgotten about the simple things in life. Life goals, not career goals. What I want, what I really really want.
The T-man gave me a much needed hug.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get around it.”
“Heh… Get around what?” I looked up to him.
“Around realizing what really matters… - Lah.”
I laughed. His attempt in sounding Malaysian always cracked me up.
I have just realized how much I loved the hug that he gave me just now. I realized that I haven’t been hugged for ages. For once, I felt… good… and kind of happy.
Eh… cold blooded bitches have feelings too … k?