Positivity Is As Positivity Does

I had a discussion with a friend last weekend on 'Positive People'.

We were discussing on those 'positive people' who shuns negative people, via social media. People who unfollow / unfriend 'Negative people'.

Well, I have my own view on this.

I unfollow or unfriend people on social media when they get disrespectful / boring.

As far as negativity is concerned, it is subjective to me.

I don't see cussing as being negative. I don't see bitching about the traffic or that complaining about the person whose signal lever mysteriously went missing driving in front of them negative.

That, Ladies and Gents, is called 'Expressing Frustration.' If I am really 'negative' about it, I would have written a long blog post focusing on how the driver is a dumbass.

I think people who instantly social media dissed 'negative people' because they indirectly think that they are 'positive people' are being judgmental. IE---> NEGATIVE.

I think if you think that you are more positive and you feel that the other person is negative, you should motivate the other person to be positive.

NOT unfollow/unfriend them. All the more when You were the first one who wanted to social media follow/friend the person in the first place.

I personally do not care if anyone is going to do that to me. It is social media.

Not being negative is unrealistic. It is how some people escape from being human. That's not a way to live life.

I know some people who do this, heck, some people think that I am somewhat negative (I would personally want to be known more as realistic or cynical, but hey.. it is subjective) and I have been dropped /unfollowed before (Not that the latter counts really.. both don't).

Let's face it, people join social media not for positivity. It is for the drama that some people induce, the circus! It is entertainment. It is entertaining even to me, a person who practices yoga. It's like soap opera, only you can say for sure that you DO actually know the 'actors'.

I mean, I know everyone on my friends' list, I don't know about other people. I don't add people I don't know on my Facebook. Even my profile in FB is well hidden from public.

So... Let's be more realistic. Sure you can be positive, but remember that negativity plays a role in life too. It's all about the middleway. Strike that Balance. Trust me, you'll be kinder, more grounded, and definitely more human.

If you really believe however, that to control negativity is to do all the things that I mentioned above, my advice to you would be---> STOP PARTICIPATING IN SOCIAL MEDIA.

With Love, Namaste.

Ayu

Ghosts

I have been thinking about Tom a lot lately.

It's been almost 11 months since his death.

I am not sure what this means really. Aussie was really understanding about it.

I don't really think it is fair to him though.

The thoughts that I have been having about Tom had been rather uncertain. It's not because I am still in love with him, I am not even sure if I was in love with him even...

Then again, what is EXACTLY love?

And soulmates. A friend jokingly mentioned that soulmates are those who share the same prejudice, to wear the same clothes.

I don't believe in soulmates. I don't believe Tom. I don't believe in Aussie either. I have trust issues.

I need to sleep.

It's that time of the year again

I was sitting down at Starbucks for my daily caffeine fix , this time without my earphones on when the unmistakable sound of a 'Raya' song was playing on the mall's speakers.

Yes. It is that time of the year again.

It is a time where people go crazy with 'insightful, religious thoughts because it is Ramadhan', tweeting / Facebooking their break of fast dishes, announcing to people that they are about to / just came back from 'Tarawih' and Raya cookies agents start to promote their 'unique Raya cookies' to the masses. 

I don't fast too, although I do have a degree of respect for those who fast.

I am not really an Eid/Raya person. I think it is the same with how my friends abroad feel about Christmas/Thanksgiving.

I just don't... mark it on the calendar.

The novelty of celebrating Raya now is reduced to just being a chance for me to catch up with my cousins and family. Other than that, Raya is the most dreaded holiday of the year.

Last year, I didn't even bother to buy a new 'Baju Kurung' for Raya. My sister offered to buy me one, which I have only worn... once.

I suck at emotional Raya mornings where I would have to ask for forgiveness from my parents. I am not an emotional person. I am cold, and I have no real concern or feelings on anything or anyone.

I am wasted. In terms of emotions, I am detached.

Oh. I do like the food. I can't have enough of the ketupats and lemangs and stuff. One thing that I appreciated my mum of doing last year was to prepare the vegetarian kuah lodeh for me, which I loved. My allergies were still undetermined at that time, and so I avoided every meat dishes like a plague.

Now that I know the real culprit was chicken, I know which dishes to stuff my face with, and which to stay away from.

As the daughter, I am also responsible for buying new stuff for my family. It gives me joy, this part of Raya. I love giving people stuff that makes them happy. It is just a thing that is quite consistent with my character.

All the other things, like that usual argument on Raya night, my toiling to clean the what seemed like a house that waits to be cleaned only on Raya and ONLY by me, the waking up in the wee hours of the morning to cook the Raya dishes with my Mum while the men folk are still sleeping, it is all very tiring.

But, it's that thing in life that you will have to go through. It is family is it not? If you can't stop em', join 'em!

With love, Namaste,

Ayu

Silver lining, that small break among the clouds...

In a strange twist of fate, after many nights toiling over restless sleep on what I want to do and whether I should resign from my current position or not, I was suddenly given the opportunity to go ahead with what I want to do. 

I have been given a break to do what I have always been thinking of doing. The transition was made easier. 

If you have ever been in a BPO, you will know that process shutdowns are a given. They happen. 

I have been with this organization for 5 years and it paid off. There are mixed reactions within my team. Some of them are like me and some of them are concerned. 

I was asked how do I feel about this... change. I actually feel, after thinking about it for a couple of hours... relieved. 

As if a HUGE boulder was lifted off from my shoulders. 

In less than 6 months, I will officially leave the company I have been with for 5 years. 

And I am happy, that this happened. It is like a nudge, the universe just poked me, saying : 

"Go.. woman. Go and start on that thing you have always wanted to do. GO."

The universe works in strange ways. 

When life throws you a stone..

You can choose to use it for something big.

OR

You can choose to slam it on your forehead with it.

Choices.. choices...

Understanding myself

How many of us can honestly say that we really understand ourselves?

I have to say, even now, at 34, I hardly understand some of the day to day decision that I do.

How is it that I decided on eating Oreos and not my normal muesli + skimmed milk combo in the morning? How can I eat 2 pieces of fried chicken, despite trying to be a vegetarian + the fact that I will have allergy reaction to the meat 10 mins after consumption?

(Please note that Oreos and fried chicken are just SO yummy.)

I still cannot understand my affinity towards Scottish men. I seek them out, it seems like. It's ridiculous.

I kind of broke down over the weekend. I am sure the lack of yoga has something to do with it.

The haze forced me to cut my yoga time to a minimum. I was sick for a couple of days with Tonsillitis and a bout of flu and work was draining.

Without my yoga time, I became slightly deranged, disoriented. I was extremely moody and I was demotivated.

"If death was an option that I can take, I would take it."

That was what I said.

Yesterday, I decided, enough is enough. So I laid out my meditation cushion (It's actually just a pillow.) and meditate for about 1 hour. I am still not able to practice as it is my moon days and until the 4th day, I am not encouraged to practice.

I cannot, for the life of me, fathom my need to break down once in a while. I am now confused over what I want to do in life. Career wise, what I want personally and what I hope to achieve in the next 6 months.

Is that new job really what I want? or is that my menial human obligations screaming out to me.

So.. for the next couple of days, I will strive to understand myself.

With Love, Namaste.

Ayu