Sunday, July 19, 2009

What I think right now right here after busting my ass in gym for about 2 hours.

I don't like to be alone with nothing to do. That is why I would rather spend my time watching movies or working out at the gym then to sit alone doing... well nothing.

Usually when this happen, I would sleep, just to avoid being alone, and awake with nothing to do.

It's only when you are alone, awake and you have nothing to do that your inner demon and the ghosts of the past start to haunt you. You get all this weird images that you wish you have never encountered in your past. These include your exes, toxic so called friends etc.

Over the past few days, I have been getting dreams about my ex, UC a lot. I hate it when I do. I will still be thinking about him despite the fact that he is now no longer in my life. I have lived sans UC for quite sometime.

I am fucking proud of myself for that. I am also seriously proud of myself to finally taking the step to eradicate him completely from my life.

Now I am a few KG lighter, I am learning to let go of my baggage slowly... but surely.

I know I sounded super emotional, but think of it as happy emotions rather than the screwed up sympathy begging ones.

I even think I look happier too. All this thanks to super friends I have around me. They had me on solid ground.

At 30, I begin to see that everything is.... weirdly... well... possible.


  1. Being 30 does things to you darl. Believe me... I've been there.. :-p

  2. Ditto. Been there done that.

    Face the demons and they'll start to wear off and will stop bugging you when you have nothing to do.

  3. Same here. Being 30 is one of the factor I guess.