In the 'blogging mood' - Dear journal... today I stepped on a pile of turd...

A red velvet covered journal book in Border’s caught my eye last few days.

The last time I had a diary was when I was a kid, 10 years old to be exact. I hid it under my pillow and when I was sharing a room with my kid sister and when she was old enough to read, I started to lug it around with me like precious gold because I was scared that she might read about my crushes, my dissatisfactions that I was always the only one who got blamed for everything that both of my siblings did in the household and of course on my parents.

The term privacy never really existed when I was a kid. Rules were enforced by a thin long piece of ‘rotan’. I had to do my chores which included ironing all of our school uniforms and as I grew older, to cook for both of my kid sister and brother.

I still remembered those days when I would actually write in my diary, sobbing and crying after a bashing from my parents. What I knew at that time was that I have been totally wronged and that I am better off never to be born!

I was not a happy kid la, senang citer.

But as time went by, I found my footing and my individuality. I was sent off to a boarding school (my mum was not happy with that) and I was grateful for the upbringing my parents had given me. I can’t believe how some people could be so spoilt that even I cringed.

When I finished school and have started my form 6, I went through all the junk that was accumulated in the store room and came across two of my journals, written when I was 12 and the other at 13.

Den golak togolek atas lantai baco!

The things you write (grammatically berterabur!) when you are a kid.

And then it also reminded me of my crushes called Khairul Nizan and Zulkifli…

Oh My God!

Hoping that they never found out about that, really.

The last time I heard was that both of them got married and is now your typical Malay couple.

I could never see myself being that ya’ll.

Now, I have a blog, but thankfully, it was not as corny as those journals I had when I was a kid.

Sure I whine in it… occasionally… but these entries at least make sense (if not a lot!).

I think I am gonna get the velvet covered journal book. The red is too cool to pass, and maybe I am going to get a girly pen with feathers at the end and put it under my pillow.

No promises I would be able to update it though!... Hahahaha