3,4, tell me some more...

“How can I last longer?”

Asked a friend who admitted to being a one minute (or less) man.

I thought if a man goes well over the 10 minute marker like a frikkin’ energizer bunny and we are not enjoying the ride due to lack of shag skills, it would be pointless also.

Instead of giving him a solution to prolong uhm… staying power, I gave him an option, which was to maximize pleasure in whatever shag time he can achieve. I even gave him the break down.

FIRSTLY, it’s all about foreplay, I understand some men are really good at this, as oppose to the whole fucking process, if so, they should keep the spermy in for the first 10 minutes and let the woman gets it first via cunnilingus (This does not include those ‘I just have to have some right here right now’ occasion’).

SECONDLY, it’s POSITIONING. If you really suck at shagging , you might want to learn about the position the woman would get the most pleasure out of (This you would have to ask).

THIRDLY, is the intense energy/chemistry, which I personally learned has nothing to do with love (Sorry to disappoint you there) but has a lot to do with just how long was the last time she got shagged. A horny woman is the easiest to please, and we could get a satisfying ‘O’ in 1 minute even, that is if we have not been shagged for aeons before that.

He dared to ask me when was my last fuck, I told him to piss off unless he wants to be hit by the beer bottle I was holding at the time.

I am gay, pi main jauh – jauh.
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If a manager does not look like a manager, act like one, talk like one, does it mean they can’t be one?

A manager has a lot to take care of. They have to be firm with the top management about their position, they have to take the blame over whatever mistakes their subordinates did without disgracing the said person and compromising your credibility as a head of department.

Tricky isn’t it? I know a few women who are not very good in this, that includes my previous ‘Mak Tua’ boss in previous company and now, possibly my present manager also.

I also know one person, to date, that is really good at being a manager, looking like one, and acting like one. She was the only reason why I left the company in the first place. And she is one of my best friends who has a mutual hate – hate relationship with my recent ex.

As for the above conclusion begging statement, I guess the answer has to be a yes. Afterall. You could only be either a leader or a follower. To learn to be come the other is either an upgrading or a degradation.
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This was a guy who once told me that he wanted to be left alone.

Somehow, the situation that I am facing right now is strikingly familiar with what I had gone through with this useless bloke.

So when he called me on the weekends asking me for a drink, I SMSed a reply with an unfriendly ‘The hell do you want now?!’

You see, once upon a time ago, when I was facing a few problems, and I thought he was the only one who could understand me because I thought he was like my friends back in KL, I called him for lunch and also possibly a drink. He had just hooked up with a girl then. Before that, he was a mess and he told me that I was his ‘rock’ as he had noone then.

I was stupidly flattered.

But that day when he shouted at the top of his lungs telling me to piss off and get a life as he had his then, I was very offended. I was there when he needed me, and he bailed when it was my turn to need him.

I should have learnt from my mistake. I should have stopped being there for people because frankly, they will not be there when I am in need. And yet, two years later, it happened again to me, with someone different.

As for yesterday’s SMS, he didn’t reply after that angry text I sent him. I guessed he took the hint. Now I just hoped that I could go through the rest of the year without knowing any bastards like these people again. What I need is someone who is honest about being my friend and not just someone you want to hang around with because they are all alone or whatever bullshit excuses they could come up with.

Just for the record, I don’t want anyone who wants me to be their ‘rock’. I am noone’s rock. I would not come to the rescue if anyone’s ass got locked up, beaten to a sad pulp or in need of emotional support. I refused to do that now, except for a few of my good friends here in JB who were there when I was genuinely in need.

These stupid bastards could do well on their own I figured, and I don’t give a fucking damn, honestly.

I am not bitter, just disappointed.
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In about two weeks, I am going to celebrate my 28th birthday.

My birthday is on the 11th of February. It marked the 28th year of me breathing, walking, talking and getting fucked on earth.

But I really thought that my birthday is somewhat jinxed. It was a few weeks nearing my birthday when I saw Trey off to the UK, it was a few weeks before my birthday that most of my relationships go kaput and it was a few days before my birthday that I would usually received dauntingly disturbing news about people around me.

So for this year, I don’t want to care about this little known fact about my birthday.

I want to go up to KL, celebrate it with what little friends I have left in this country, not before staying up all night chatting with my friends overseas. I also want to wear the LBD I bought from Dorothy Perkins a few weeks ago, together with the gold buckled stilettos I have impulsively bought with no reason whatsoever.

I don’t care if it’s a jinxed occasion, all I know is that I am 28, life is short and I don’t want to waste it.