Envy is a bad mofo.
Every now and then, it sneaks up to you and whisper discouraging words to you.
How you are not good enough, how you'd wished you're someone else, with someone else's life.
How you'd wish you've never been born.
I was with The Scotsman for Christmas. It was something that I didn't expect, him wanting me to be around on Christmas.
We were both sick for the past two weeks, him with Viral fever and me, with Tonsilitis. I kept in close contact with him all throughout the week. I made sure that he is taken care of in my absence. Bought him drinking water, medicine and asked if he needed any food.
The reason why, I did all that for him was not because I am head over heels for him (Which I never allowed myself to be) but it was because of Karma.
I know it would probably be better for me if say I was the one who was all alone in another country with no family or good friends to rely on.
For the whole of the weekend, not once did I say, 'If only ...'
I was genuinely happy... and it was so good for my karma.
(Well... except for the time when The Scotsman said that he didn't get Sarah Jessica Parker because she looks like a horse. @_@)
Now to find someone like The Scotsman, but who would have no problem with long term commitment, and who is my age.
And someone who would understand crude jokes like :
'What is green, boney and smells like pork?'
Kermit the Frog's finger.
See ya'll next year!! :)