Burn baby, burn...

I have a confession to make.

My last vacation was when I was 20.

I went to Pangkor Island and spent the three days with my 'neighbor' from the chalet beside mine.

2 guys to be exact. Tourists. We had fun, hiked, swam (Waddling for me) and had cheap box wine.

Yes it was extremely fun, and no, I didn't keep in touch with any one of them, and NO nothing happened.

Like how an acquaintance put it, 'no mojo.'

I was fresh out of a relationship, was young, was an emotional douche bag and was still, at that time, a believer of 'soulmates'.

Heh.

After that, I was consumed with other shit heads and douche bags such as myself. What can I say douches attract douches.

Joyce kept on bugging me with beach vacation packages. She said I need a vacation, I need to leave my crackberry with my boss and just fucking get lost already.

I would say... pry it from my dead cold fingers...

I don't know if I really need one. I mean, the only reason why I don't know what gastric feels like was because I would usually just dismiss whatever shit that I had, unless it interferes with my bodily functions.


But... it's going to be a brand new year in 3 more months... who knows? I might be on my way to that beach in Bali, doing my salutations on the beach (Even the thought of that sounds nice), toes crunching the sand.

One can hope... ONE CAN HOPE.

Hello... it's about to be October! What the....!!!!

Felt like yesterday that I...

Met The Scotsman... How crazy is it that I met him in March?

He is still my dearest friend, the one who can make out my sarcasm, just like how my best friends are able to find out what's going on in this fuzzy brain of mine.

Joyce Got Pregnant... She is in her 7th month now and now my crazy friend is about to be a mother!

It felt yesterday that I finally started to live a little, to be able to let new people in, and to get rid of people who don't matter and to say that...

It feels bloody great to not have these people burden me anymore!

... And I hope, life is going to get better.

Don't you just hate me when I am all positive, shiny and happy??????

Just a thought...

Dating is like trying out dresses.

You won't stop until you find one that fits like a glove.

And if you decided not to buy it at that point of time because you want to see your options, you go back and think of that one perfect dress you tried on, and you found yourself back at the same store, heading to that same rack to pick up the dress that fits you.

When this happens, you know you have found the perfect date that you may want to stick with for a very long time.

It does sound pretty shallow to compare men with dresses, but why do we take it so seriously anyway? Men probably compare dating to scaling a wall/bordering.

Or some other macho equivalents.

People say that I should have no problems in getting a date. But guess what? I do. Unless I take my pick online, it's pretty much useless for me to hang around and waiting for some inexplicably 'romantic' encounter with a man in the flesh.

I guess that's only reserved for the very gorgeous and pretty.

Maid of Honoring and horsing around - Weekends I love!

Dear Hidayah and Gadhafee,

Thank you for trusting me enough to be the maid of honor in your wedding, although I had NO IDEA what to do. :P...

It was a fun day, and congratulations to the both of you, after 9 years in a relationship, you guys finally made it! Muacks!

The Bride and Groom

The 'Pengapits' : Best Man and Maid Of Honor.

Dear Scotsman,

Thank you for bringing me, and thank you for saying "Thank you for coming."

*Smile...*

VIP box requires me dressing up in a dress and him in a shirt and a neck tie. Never been to a race before and I have to say it was interesting.

Blank#2

Quarter life crisis ... Believing that everything is magic

Hello... It's me again...

Hmm...

Hopefully, this time next year, I will be able to take this shot in front of another background, and a totally different circumstance.

I can still ... pray for that... right?

What I sometimes would like to happen to me ...

Sometimes, I would like to be a rich man's wife.

Oh the joy of not having to work, of spending your husband's money without a care in the world.

Even if you are unhappy, you can always seek comfort in the material buys you can get from your husband's cash.

The best part is of course, the not working bit.

If you have been in ops long enough, you'll realize that hanging up your brain for it to 'dry' somewhere else so that you don't have to think about team's productivity, attrition or attendance is bliss.

I know I mentioned that I am fiercely defensive as far as my independence is concerned, but hey, dependency has its' quirks... no?

It's just that, work, competitiveness and this constant need to prove yourself is just... sickening sometimes.

Why can't we just ... get along dammit?

PS : Sometimes I do get a tinge jealous when I read about people who have rich husbands. I hate the fact that I have to work for what they have. I think I am too good a person to deserve this whole independent survivor type chick destiny. ----> I will change my mind when I start working... can you believe me? I suck!

Soul Searching #2 (I think I did more than that Haha)

JB always prompted me to do some soul searching.

I remarked on FB that JB was where I was running around crazy, waiting for love from the wrong person, with no inkling of any self preservation or dignity.

I am now walking around in a bigger city searching for inner peace and enjoying what life has to offer, now that I am actually doing better than I personally thought I can.

I pray to God every day to give me strength so that I can face life alone, if that's what I will end up doing.

But really, I know I am never really alone. :)

I am in JB for Raya and so, not having the mood to Raya this year, I decided to just play along.

At least I got a gorgeous embroidered Kebaya Nyonya...

Anyway, vain soul searcher... signing out!