It is now 1 day before Raya and me thinks…

Raya had always been great when I was a kid. But then again, what else is new. All the other blogs seemed to talk about the same thing. I thought, it would be interesting to go with the present and future rather than lamenting on my glorious ‘pocketing Raya money’ days.

Now, years later, at 29 years old and single, somehow I am kind of glad that I couldn’t go back to JB on first day of Raya.

Why? Well, for some reason, my Nana (That’s Grandma for you.) always tend to cry more and harder when it was my turn to wish her Eid Mubarak. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I am 29 YO and still single.

But I have money… that was what I told her last year, and that would still be what I would tell her this year. Only I will tell her that on the third day of Raya because I would be missing the first and second day because of work.

I drove back to JB last weekend because since I can’t be with them on the first and second day of Raya, might as well make it up a few days before Raya. It has always been my obligation every Raya to buy what my Mum needs. Shoes, clothes and additional stuff for Raya like snacks and cakes and stuff. I bought my Baju Kurung (Merah tahun ni Noks!!) and was extremely thrilled to have found a few bargains on shoes and bags!!

What’s more important is that I realized how I have taken all these for granted when I used to have no problem trying to get the whole week leave for Raya. I would spend the whole week doing nothing except for my daily run and ‘lepak-ing’ ritual at home. No visiting relatives unless my Dad suddenly suggest that I come along.

Now, I can’t even do the ‘lepak-ing’.

I bet my Nana would be even more ‘meleleh’ on the morning of first Raya.

Yelah kan… Dahlah tua, belum kahwin, lepas tu kena kerja pulak on Raya.

Haha…

For this Raya, I will only be able to go back home on the 3rd day of Raya. My Mak Ngah already told me that she will be cooking just for me on that day since I missed the food on the 1st day. My Mum would definitely cook for me and I feel blessed to have people who cares about me that much.

Well anyway… Selamat Hari Raya Everyone. In the spirit of Raya, I would like to apologize if I have offended any of you readers through my writing.

Have a good one everybody! Silalah ingatkan saya yang akan beraya di office pada hari pertama ye!!!

Clueless...

I am itching to put this post up in the blog.

I am literally scratching my hands.

I am currently still on the dating wagon. It had been good I guess. I get to meet new people and I get to make friends with them and a host of other people. It’s predictable but it gave me something to do aside from taking photos and since it is the Ramadhan, I don’t run every other weekend now.

I thought I would be finally be rid of bad dates. But, like how they put it, never say never.

But the date I went on last weekend took the cake. It was the epitome of all bad dates. It was the worst date I have ever been on. Forget the Beemer guy who talks about what he has half of the time, forget the dude who asked me if I read, forget the lawyer who talked about his exes, no other bad date could possibly be this BAD.

This guy is the crème de la crème of bad dates. Apparently he took offense that I never returned his calls or any of his text messages he sent over the week. We have kept in touch on and off over the month and being that Sarcy never really had time for all this (and plus, I thought, he could just… wait) I never bothered to.

We had dinner at one of the restaurants and he said that he thought we would be having dinner in Kenny Roger’s. He said he liked the chicken there.

Listen. When the woman said that she wants to have dinner at another restaurant which does not have pictures of an old country singer, she really meant it. I don’t mind paying for my own share, hell, I don’t mind paying for his share if he was really that unprepared for a date. Not that I was actually expecting him to pay.

How the date came about? I guess you can blame it on boredom. It was a Saturday evening and I slept well through break fast and just happened to feel like having a plate of Olio Pasta. Since I happened to be at the area, I decided to call the guy since he seemed eager to go out with me.

See, I give chances, I should have known better.

He also took ownership of the couple of brief 15 minutes coffee hang outs we had before. He told me he cancelled his appointment with his friends and whatnots just to meet me that evening. I asked him why, and said that he was welcomed to go off and that I was just fine dining on my own.

And then there is the bit about spicy food, of him eyeing my food like I have a plateful of maggots for my meal. He didn’t take spicy food. And I thought, wuss. But at that time, I guess, I was still giving him a chance.

"Come closer. You are sitting too far away."

I said no. The worst part was when he tried to pull my chair over to him. It was at that time I truly thanked my stars that I am not a size zero. Look, the phone calls, the SMSes, those didn’t mean anything to me. Those don’t give anyone a right to manhandle me like that.

We have very few things in common, actually, we shared almost nothing in common. He believes that a woman should put her career second and her family first. So he disapproved of my working hours and said that he will ask me to quit if he was my husband.

"Guess what. You’re not, never will be."

I am defensive about my career. For now, it is first. I will never dance to a tune set by any man, I do things because I want to and because I think I have to. That said, any man who wanted to be with me will have to get accustomed to my very individual feminism laced principles.

There were a lot of things that happened that night that ruled out the possibility of me maintaining my contact with him. It was really quite disappointing. He does look good, just a bit too short for my liking. I like those super tall ones.

The funniest part was the way the whole ‘date’ ended. He asked me where do we go from here? I was thinking, from where? I told him that I am sure he was a nice man and all, he would be a great boyfriend to someone else who deserves him more than I do. I told him that I am a bitch, in every sense, excluding the sleep around part.

"I don’t need to know where you stay, I don’t need to reply your text messages or return your calls. I don’t even have time to do all that. I just want you as a friend, you know, drinking partner, whatever… I don’t feel that way towards you."

I hope everything goes well for him. I am definitely going to be fine. I have always been.

Last weekend and a month ago

I finally have something to blog about… with pictures too!

I went to Malacca with a few friends from the office and one of them happened to be my boss from the US. The last time I went was about 6 months (-ish) ago. Malacca had somehow changed to this over developed town. I have always loved Malacca because of the quaint little streets and the old world feel the buildings have.

Now, it’s a whole new world. The only type of trishaws you could find are those over decorated ones with loud music blasting from the ‘beca stereo’. We went on the river cruise and it turned out to be so painfully commercial. I can’t remember how many times I actually rolled my eyes listening to the pro-government lines from the cruise operator.

And what is the deal with the monitor lizards anyway? I find it funny that the tourists seemed to get so excited when the guide announced that they sighted one along the river. The cruise operator was also painfully corny.

But nevertheless… we did enjoy shopping in Jonker street. It was fun. Well, if you could call buying one RM 10 necklace (Which I so frikkin’ love!) and two bottles of Cincaluk shopping!

Overall, we had fun.

Basikal Tua in sephia mode

Me and Joyce, my FB wife

I also attended a friend’s solemnization ceremony in Senawang (This was like a month old story). Congrats Shelly and Yusri. I am not putting their picture here without permission. But I shot some other pictures in the mosque.

Tadaa!! Cute tak Akak? Well.. I had to put it on in a mosque

Errkk… I have the dating blues…

Is it me or am I just plain not bothered nowadays?

Remember when I blogged about me ‘finally opening up to men’ (Now now… NOT MY LEGS… Behave la ya’ll!) and giving out my phone number to strangers who find me hot beyond belief? (Well, I have always thought so of myself anyway. Hahaha!). EK! I prove to be just another painful experience for them.

They called a few times and I didn’t find it a need to return their calls. They text, but I didn’t reply them until maybe 3 days later. I am not even excited enough to go out on dates with them although they were pushing me to.

I am just perfectly happy staying at home. I find driving out a chore and besides, I don’t think they will be able to intrigue me with interesting stuff to talk about anyway. One dude was even forward in trying to bring me home and shit. I was like whaaa?? I don’t even want to ride with you in your car. I ended up asking him ‘Do I look frikkin’ cheap to you?’I told him that if you just want to go and get laid, I trust there will be plenty of meat at Beach Club for you to take your pick from and not necessarily the woman who caught your eye reading CNN website at Starbucks (Sayalah tu).

Another bloke was extremely pushy and was asking me when I would be free enough to have a decent date. I told him that my priorities right now are unfortunately not to get hooked up with anyone. He did tell me that he wanted to be friends with me anyway(No, I didn’t believe that okay? What am I dumb?) Just to be fair, I called him when I was near his residence and I happened to ‘lepak’ in Starbucks at the time.

I hate it when I have to justify my action to someone I don’t know. So when he asked me if I only would be thinking of asking him out whenever I have the time.

And, unassumingly, I said… YES.

"So you don’t really want to go out with me, properly then?"

‘Ahh… that’s a toughie.’ I thought. But I told the person a diplomatic answer;

"I can’t promise anything yet. See how things are going. Cool?"
But Seriously? I couldn’t be bothered – lah! I’d rather stay at home, watch DVDs and sleep or go shopping with my girlfriends.

Unless, you can come up with interesting and fun dates like Will Smith in Hitch, maybe I will go along. It’ll be a bonus if he looks like Will Smith too. Ahh… one could dream… and drool… :P…

Speaking of dates, one thing that has been bugging me lately is just how dated (pardon the pun) these things seemed to be in Malaysia. Most men came up with the typical date agenda. Dinners (posh or not), movies, window shopping (HAHAHAHA!!!!) and coffee. I don’t consider clubbing to be a date because that is obviously only a way to get in our pants.

I don’t have any memorable first dates. I have to admit that all the men I have gone out with are the typical males. As for the 2nd, 3rd or final base dates, well I guess I can commend T to come up with a rather interesting one. He taught me wall climbing, which was cool, totally unexpected, I was freaking out because I know nuts about it and I was also terribly concerned that he would see all my jiggly bits.

But, I ended up being his other half for close to two years until he left for the UK.

Personally, I would let an unoriginal first date slide. But with my many experiences of trying to struggle through lame boring dates, I have come to a conclusion that I have lost the interest to go on any more of those.

I don’t know la… surprise me why don’t you?

Oh hello... was I affiliated to you romatically circa ancient BC?

Going through my little black book (yes, Sarcy have one of those) I realize that I have made those ‘what was I thinking’ error. Of course, I am not supposed to be surprised, because being in the dating world is but a trial and error stage that everyone go through. I bet that some of the men I dated considered me as an error. My middle name could be ‘bitch’ or even ‘stupid’.

To me, the names that were written in the book now is only a bunch of alphabets that make up my past. I didn’t remember any one of them in person. I don't even know how they must have looked like.

But I am pretty sure that they could not even remember my first and last name.

Apparently, I was wrong. I have been the only one who could forget the men I have had relationships with, except for a few exceptional ones with whom I have decided to stay in contact with.

My amnesia was so bad that I couldn't even remember one even if they are standing in front of me and told me their name.

However, I couldn't forget one encounter I had with one of my exes. I was at Tony Roma’s having my weekly catch up with a friend and was served by a waiter who was kind of awkward having to serve us. My friend told me that he had been looking at our table and especially at me a few times. The waiter was not worth my attention and I brushed it off. I told her it was probably because he was dazzled at my charm, in a joking way.

My friend, being the nosy one decided to engage in small talk with the waiter.

“Oh so, Er***...”

I looked up and checked out his tag. It says Er***. All of the sudden I went way back, when I was 19. He was one of those ‘err... so I dated HIM?’ mistake I did when I was still young, dumb and unassuming.

“Oh my God... Sy***.... he was one of my exes. Well... I was a student then, and he was a cute, so I thought, waiter... Shit!!! And he is still a waiter!”

I laughed. We laughed, cackled like witches rather. We had ‘Mean Bitches’ stamped all over our faces.

But that was okay considering that I could still remember his name at least. What happened in KLCC during my solo shopping rounds was even absurdly... interesting.

A guy stopped me and asked how I am doing. I looked at him like I have come across an unfamiliar figure in a Barney the Purple Dinosour costume.

“You don't remember me? 2002? TTDI?”

He was a puny figure I wouldn’t even consider to be in anyway involved with now.

“Umm... Sh*****? I was the one who was driving the beemer? We were kind of umm... together back then.”

I was thinking, what makes you think I would be able to remember you just by telling me that you drove a beemer back then? But instead of being sarcastic I went;

“I am sorry. I really couldn't recall. Maybe you got the wrong person.”

“You are A** right? You are a Johorean and you were previously attached with Universiti ****** **?”

“I am A** but for the love of God, I really couldn't recall you at all. I am sorry.”

“ Well anyway. You look better.”

“Thanks. Well gotta run.”

And I walked. What you don't think I would be staying one second longer and start to exchange numbers do you? Sure I must have looked like a bitch to the guy (I still couldn't remember him.) but I really didn’t think of staying in that really awakward conversation.

If I was ever in a relationship with the man, boy, I must have been desperate. I hope I have never slept with him. Maybe I broke it up with him, but if it was the other way around, well... sucks for him I guess.

My friend, a psychologist told me that they have a name for this and they call it selective memory. Everyone has it. I choose what I want to remember and this include the people I have met along the way. Those that mattered were only the prime figures that made an impact on my life.

That is why I could remember my first teenage love affair, my two great loves, the bastard who cheated on me, the two gentlemen I met during my last solo beach vacation and a few other occasions in the past that I have held on to so it would be a constant reminder for me on what NOT TO DO and WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. Anything else who didn’t matter, was subconsciously, erased.

Thinking back, I would rather remember the good looking men I have had relationships with rather than the “what was I thinking!” ones.

This condition also applies to my circle of friends. There were a few people with whom I have fell out with and I have completely forgotten about. I just didn’t think I should be remembering such people and that these people really don't deserve me as their friend.

After that lengthy explanation by my psychologist friend, I have come to a conclusion that hey... I actually like this selective memory thing. It updates and cleans my hard drive without me trying to.

So if someone who claimed to have known you or even was involved in a relationship with you approach you anytime, what you can do is to tell them that ‘Hey... I have selective memory... so I don't remember you... man you must have really sucked back then.’ You can either blame or thank your selective memory.

Hahaha!

I am Losing the streak!

I laughed out loud when I went to Ome’s blog and read the Muslim’s pick up lines.

Hahaha!!!

Ones that really took the cake were ;

"Are those legs halal?"

And the ultimate…

"Do you work for al-Qaeda? You hijacked my heart!"

I can’t imagine what my face would look like if I am the one on the receiving end. Being that I have always been the smart ass to any man who came armed with a pick up line, I might probably be dumbfounded and end up laughing my sarcastic butt off.

HAHAHA!

I think I have lost my sarcastic streak. The fact that I didn’t brush off a guy who came to me out of nowhere in a shopping mall last week made me think so. As a matter of fact, my friends thought that I have truly lost my mind. I have never given a glance to men who tried to talk to me before. I have always given them the cold stare and walked off.

What made it crazier was that I even went so far as to give out my number to the dude. I am shocked at myself.

I have always joked around to people saying that I would probably never open up to anyone else aside from the love of my life that I will never end up with. And then a friend of mine told me that somehow, it didn’t quite make the cut as a joke. I meant every word I said.

So I guess, maybe subconsciously, I am changing and revising my personal ideals. It is okay to not have the chance to be with someone who made me feel like I could take on the world and with whom I could be truly myself with. Chances are worth taken, I guess.

Besides, I thought the dude’s body was sweet… hahaha… it doesn’t have to be serious what?

Waaaaa... Saya sungguh bangga...

I have been in JB for a good few days now. It is my first real long weekend that I have finally had the chance to have since I moved to KL a few months ago.

So needless to say, from the get go, I tried to catch up with as many friends as possible over the weekends. I also spent time with my family. Have to do as much as I can because I only have a few days in JB.

The thing is, contrary to what I personally thoughtwas going to happen, my life is a no life in KL. I spent it mostly working, sleeping on the weekends or spending time with my friends who are also my colleagues (I have absolutely cool people as my colleagues).

I will only indulge in a bit of 'life', per se... when any one of my JB friends make a trip up to KL.

Hahaha... and I thought I would be the person I was close to 8 years ago. How wrong I was.

And then I thought, maybe it's just the age factor. I am getting older, and... strangely more matured at handling things. It scares me sometime, but its a good thing innit?

Plus... and this I just have to write!!! Everyone said that I lost weight since the last time I saw them. Even the brow threading lady said I did. And I really did. My weight had flunctuated close to 8 KGs!

I am going to lose more, though one of my friends actually told me to retain my ass. Apparently, it is a gift from God and I have no right to reject it. HAHAHA!!!

Two more KGs to attain my 10 KG goal. Woohoo!!